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Category: Transforming Pain

Sit With The Not Knowing

Published on January 20, 2024

If I’m trying to write, but can’t think of what I want to say…

Rather than “look for inspiration” and browse websites, other articles, social media, etc…

I’ll try and force myself to sit with the not knowing.

The mindset is this: we already have an ocean’s worth of insight from the hundreds of thousands of hours we’ve been alive… what we don’t need is a few more drops of inspiration to add to our ocean… what we need is a space that allows us to dive into that ocean so we can (finally) do some proper exploring.

Think scuba diving.

…You don’t see scuba divers browsing social media, scanning websites for inspiration, or asking search engines which direction to go.

Scuba divers dive and explore. With absolutely zero distractions.

And when it comes to all things creative… so should we.

Scariest 5 Seconds

Published on January 13, 2024

Yesterday, a friend told me a story of the scariest five seconds of his life.

When approaching an intersection on a two lane highway, there was a car that suddenly swerved across all lanes of traffic directly in front of him.

He jerked the steering wheel to avoid collision and ended up peeling over the grassy median and out onto the other side of the two lane highway into oncoming traffic.

Imagine the sheer horror of being behind the wheel of that swerving car, moving at highway speeds, heading towards cars that were also heading at highway speeds—right towards you.

It was a miracle that in that split few seconds of time, he was able to quickly swerve back over the median and onto the right side of the road before being hit.

I share this story to remind you to 1) always drive like your life depends on it and 2) bring back to the forefront of your mind that life is delicate. It was through no fault of his own that this person swerved in front of him. And it was damn fortunate that he was able to navigate his way back to safety.

Had he been driving less cautiously, it could have proven to be fatal—for more than just him.

I’m sure you, too, have had a scariest five seconds of your life that could’ve ended it all for you—but didn’t. Don’t let this gratitude for life leave you. Because it’s nothing short of a miracle that we’re here living, breathing, and being… isn’t it?

P.s. I also published: 23 Greg McKeown Quotes from Essentialism and How To Live Better Via Less

Just Vibes

Published on December 6, 2023

The first time I heard the song Who Do You Love by ARTY feat. Rozzi, was when I was dead in the middle of running my first ultramarathon.

…Like dead.

…In the middle… maybe not even half way.

…While running a 50k in the desert.

And right before I heard it… it was dusty and rugged and mute. And I was alone. And I was hurting. And I was trying to quiet the deflating chatter of my mind. And I was definitely questioning my life choices.

And then… I heard the song faintly in the distance. And then I heard it getting progressively louder behind me. And then I was starting to wonder if I was hallucinating… Until, lo and behold, a dude on his bike with a bluetooth speaker strapped to his basket passed by with the song blasting.

And the song filled me with the life that was quickly exiting my body in that moment. And it gave me the mental patching I needed to hold more of that life inside as I continued on my way… like a mechanic expertly patching a pierced tire that was in danger of soon hitting rim to road. And I even got a boost that allowed me to pump my arms to the beat, crack a smile, and shout him out as he passed.

And not even a minute later… he was gone.

…Peddled off into the dusty desert going wherever his wind blew him.

…And I never saw him again.

And this was all it took to give me the critical boost I needed to carry on with my fight.

…No interaction. No major endeavor. No fancy tactics.

…Just vibes.

Painted Rocks

Published on December 5, 2023

“It’s actually pretty gratifying.”

…A friend of mine said about her painted rock side hustle.

What started out simply as a hobby that entailed collecting rocks on her morning dog walks that she would then paint by night as a creative/ calming outlet… slowly turned into a business name, with chic branding, and small pop-up stands.

…Not with the intent of massively scaling and changing the world.

But, with the intent of sharing her unique gift with those who cared.

And the funny thing about sharing gifts with those who care…

…Is that it’s actually pretty gratifying for one’s self.

Is The Suffering Worth It?

Published on November 27, 2023

Is the suffering worth the contribution?

I have this question sticky-noted at the bottom of my computer screen so that I read it every day.

And whenever I feel like I’m suffering from the work I’m choosing to do… I ask myself… Is it worth the contribution it provides?

If the answer is no, I stop doing it. Or begin to plan ways I can phase it out of my life (whatever “it” is).

And if the answer is yes, well then, I suffer a little less and feel better as I get back to it.

Looking In The Mirror… More?

Published on November 14, 2023

Why do we look at ourselves in the mirror so frequently throughout the day?

Like, we just saw ourselves 10 minutes ago after getting out of the shower… why must we check our appearance again after getting dressed? And again after getting into the car? And again after getting to work? And again in the store mirror? And again and again and again…?

Maybe it’s because we know things change—and can change rather quickly and unexpectedly.

Like, what if we got a piece of food stuck in our teeth? Or our hair got messed up? Or our clothing malfunctioned and a little more skin was showing than we intended?

…I’d be lying if I said I didn’t check for these things throughout the day.

…And there’s nothing wrong with this.

My followup question however, is how often do you check the mirrors that reflect your inner state?

People are much more likely to mention a piece of food stuck in your teeth or hair standing up or a wardrobe malfunction than they might be to mention a sour mood, an unusually short temper, or a judgment malfunction…

People can help us with our outer reflection, but our inner reflection is mostly on us to check-in with.

…Which we do by meditating, reflecting, writing, and mindfully walking or conversing.

If this isn’t already a part of your day, maybe it’s time to make it a part of it. And, like physical mirror check-ins, maybe it don’t have to be so formal… after all, “look in the mirror” probably isn’t blocked into your days… yet you do it all the time.

…What if you did the same with your inner mirror?

Growth via Messing Around

Published on November 1, 2023

This morning, Facebook memories resurfaced an old video of me performing a bo (staff) combo in casual clothes after a casual training session that blew me away.

It was so creatively different than so much of what’s being performed in the martial arts school I teach at these days.

And what’s interesting about this clip is that even though it was 4 years ago, I distinctly remember this particular training session.

A couple martial arts students asked if I wanted to have a Sunday session, I agreed, we went to the school, blasted good music, and just messed around and fed off each other’s energy for several hours.

…We started by training what we knew.

…We continued by doing variations of what we knew—oftentimes either hating or hurting ourselves with the results (I’ve whacked my hands and head with my bo more times than you’ve probably ever touched a bo).

…We were oftentimes inspired by the variations done by our training comrades.

And we ended up with a few interesting ideas that we then chained back together with what we knew coming into the session… which left us with an upgraded skillset that prompted the above video and this share.

This is how growth works.

A willingness to try. A chunk of undisrupted time. And the ability to keep trying in spite of the hate and hurt.

…Bonus points, of course, if you have a good playlist and aligned company.

P.s. Day 3: I was able to personally thank a gentlemen who occasionally texts out an uplifting thought in the mornings to a group of aligned and opted-in friends.