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Category: Transforming Pain

What To Say To Those In The Storm

Published on February 20, 2024

A student of mine broke her ankle doing a jumping kick in my martial arts class last night.

…And this was literally a few weeks after she just got her boot off from having broken that same ankle just a few months ago.

Another student has been trying to come back from a similar broken bone situation… but keeps getting slammed with various colds and sicknesses.

…And, to her dismay, has only been able to attend a handful of classes over the course of two months.

Another student came up to me last night and told me some heartbreaking news that… on top of the surgery she might have to get on her hip… and on top of the sicknesses that keep coming up in her family… her mom got diagnosed with cancer.

Life, like mother nature herself, has seasons.

Sometimes its sunny and seventy; and sometimes it’s hella cloudy and rainy.

…And sometimes, as the expression goes, it doesn’t just rain—it pours.

It’s hard to know what to say in these situations because there aren’t any words that’ll keep a person dry when it’s pouring rain and they’re already wet.

…But, maybe if you can let them know you’ll be there with them as the pouring rain comes down, and that there’s an umbrella you can share, and that you’ll be a source of warmth for them as the cold, heavy drops carry more and more of their warmth away and into the ground…

…Maybe you can make the storm suck a little less and help them see their way to the other side.

Initiating Kindness

Published on January 28, 2024

It’s easy to do kindness after you’ve been acted kindly to.

But, it takes a real one to do kindness when you’ve had someone act the opposite to you.

What we need aren’t more people who can wait for kindness to happen to them so they can then pay it forward.

What we need are more people who can initiate kindness when nobody is talking about it… when only the opposite is on display… when curveballs galore are wrecking everybody’s day.

Because it’s then—precisely then—when kindness is needed most.

P.s. 101 Acts of Kindness To Help Recalibrate The World

Sit With The Not Knowing

Published on January 20, 2024

If I’m trying to write, but can’t think of what I want to say…

Rather than “look for inspiration” and browse websites, other articles, social media, etc…

I’ll try and force myself to sit with the not knowing.

The mindset is this: we already have an ocean’s worth of insight from the hundreds of thousands of hours we’ve been alive… what we don’t need is a few more drops of inspiration to add to our ocean… what we need is a space that allows us to dive into that ocean so we can (finally) do some proper exploring.

Think scuba diving.

…You don’t see scuba divers browsing social media, scanning websites for inspiration, or asking search engines which direction to go.

Scuba divers dive and explore. With absolutely zero distractions.

And when it comes to all things creative… so should we.

Scariest 5 Seconds

Published on January 13, 2024

Yesterday, a friend told me a story of the scariest five seconds of his life.

When approaching an intersection on a two lane highway, there was a car that suddenly swerved across all lanes of traffic directly in front of him.

He jerked the steering wheel to avoid collision and ended up peeling over the grassy median and out onto the other side of the two lane highway into oncoming traffic.

Imagine the sheer horror of being behind the wheel of that swerving car, moving at highway speeds, heading towards cars that were also heading at highway speeds—right towards you.

It was a miracle that in that split few seconds of time, he was able to quickly swerve back over the median and onto the right side of the road before being hit.

I share this story to remind you to 1) always drive like your life depends on it and 2) bring back to the forefront of your mind that life is delicate. It was through no fault of his own that this person swerved in front of him. And it was damn fortunate that he was able to navigate his way back to safety.

Had he been driving less cautiously, it could have proven to be fatal—for more than just him.

I’m sure you, too, have had a scariest five seconds of your life that could’ve ended it all for you—but didn’t. Don’t let this gratitude for life leave you. Because it’s nothing short of a miracle that we’re here living, breathing, and being… isn’t it?

P.s. I also published: 23 Greg McKeown Quotes from Essentialism and How To Live Better Via Less

Just Vibes

Published on December 6, 2023

The first time I heard the song Who Do You Love by ARTY feat. Rozzi, was when I was dead in the middle of running my first ultramarathon.

…Like dead.

…In the middle… maybe not even half way.

…While running a 50k in the desert.

And right before I heard it… it was dusty and rugged and mute. And I was alone. And I was hurting. And I was trying to quiet the deflating chatter of my mind. And I was definitely questioning my life choices.

And then… I heard the song faintly in the distance. And then I heard it getting progressively louder behind me. And then I was starting to wonder if I was hallucinating… Until, lo and behold, a dude on his bike with a bluetooth speaker strapped to his basket passed by with the song blasting.

And the song filled me with the life that was quickly exiting my body in that moment. And it gave me the mental patching I needed to hold more of that life inside as I continued on my way… like a mechanic expertly patching a pierced tire that was in danger of soon hitting rim to road. And I even got a boost that allowed me to pump my arms to the beat, crack a smile, and shout him out as he passed.

And not even a minute later… he was gone.

…Peddled off into the dusty desert going wherever his wind blew him.

…And I never saw him again.

And this was all it took to give me the critical boost I needed to carry on with my fight.

…No interaction. No major endeavor. No fancy tactics.

…Just vibes.

Painted Rocks

Published on December 5, 2023

“It’s actually pretty gratifying.”

…A friend of mine said about her painted rock side hustle.

What started out simply as a hobby that entailed collecting rocks on her morning dog walks that she would then paint by night as a creative/ calming outlet… slowly turned into a business name, with chic branding, and small pop-up stands.

…Not with the intent of massively scaling and changing the world.

But, with the intent of sharing her unique gift with those who cared.

And the funny thing about sharing gifts with those who care…

…Is that it’s actually pretty gratifying for one’s self.

Is The Suffering Worth It?

Published on November 27, 2023

Is the suffering worth the contribution?

I have this question sticky-noted at the bottom of my computer screen so that I read it every day.

And whenever I feel like I’m suffering from the work I’m choosing to do… I ask myself… Is it worth the contribution it provides?

If the answer is no, I stop doing it. Or begin to plan ways I can phase it out of my life (whatever “it” is).

And if the answer is yes, well then, I suffer a little less and feel better as I get back to it.