Category: Being Action Oriented

A mom of one of my martial arts students told me the other day that she was going to miss her son’s martial arts tournament for the first time since they started years ago.

When I asked her why, she told me the most incredible answer.

…Her longtime friend invited her and four others to fly to Seattle, Washington, USA for a birthday party that she was throwing—for herself. And check out the festivities lineup:

• Bingo—because it’s her favorite.
• A potato bar—which included a survey sent ahead of time of which custom topics each attendee wanted.
• Rotating massages—by a masseuse who would give 15-minute sessions.
• A Frownie Buffett—which are facial patches that prevent wrinkles
• And a day floating down the local river—in floaties, while having drinks and casual conversation.

All created and put together by the birthday girl herself.

And I absolutely love this energy. Especially as I reflect on this past year and celebrate my own birthday (which is today…!)

What a joy it is to create joy in your life.

…And what a drag it can be to wait for others to create joy for you.

Some of my absolute favorite memories from this last year have been from experiences I took the initiative to create for myself.

And as I step into 37, this is the kind of energy I want to keep leading my life forward with.

An uncompromising, unapologetic, unwavering drive to live my life as fully as I’m able—without waiting for someone else to invite me or tell me how to do it for me.

“Nobody kills your dreams on purpose. You just stop feeding them. And eventually they stop bothering you.”

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Of course we want our dreams to come to life.

We fantasize of the day when we officially close on our dream home, or visit our dream bucket list destination, or become an author of the book we’ve always wanted to write.

…None of us kill our dreams on purpose.

But sometimes, we let the talking get in the way of the feeding.

We talk to friends and family about our dreams, we talk to our diaries about our dreams, we talk to social media and teachers and strangers about our dreams…

And we continue to talk and talk and talk to the same circles of people while the dream itself starves from inaction.

You can only talk about wanting something for so long, while simultaneously taking zero action towards obtaining it, and staying precisely as far away from realizing it as you ever have… before you simply stop believing in your ability to close that gap.

And you stop being bothered by the dream because its energy continues to dwindle while you invest precious time, energy, and resources into other life tasks. Many times into things you would happily sell back on your deathbed like TV, video games, social media, work you hate, and people you don’t like…

What’s your dream?

What was your dream?

Have you let it starve?

And can you reclaim some of the nourishment of your life and feed it back into that dream?

…Or are you really okay with it starving and withering away?

…And it’s because nothing I do is ever perfect and so could be argued that it was wrong in some way.

Literally nothing.

My morning routine? Anybody could find a way I could do it better.

My exercise regiment? Would probably be laughed at by some of the gym bros.

My eating habits? I’m not microwaving nearly as much as I used to… so that’s a victory I guess.

And then there’s how I do things professionally…

Teaching martial arts? Sheesh. Always so much to remember and consider. The depth of information is oceanic and I feel like all I’m ever able to convey is a few drops at a time.

Teaching character development? Oh lord. Such a complex and ever-changing landscape. Not sure if there’s anything I’ve ever said that couldn’t be criticized in some way, shape, or form. What works for some absolutely doesn’t for others. And even just practicing what I/we preach is a monumental task in and of itself. So many things I say and do could be said and done better.

Training staff? Their mistakes always feel like my mistakes and it’s in both of our natures to make lots of them. Oh how challenging being in this position is.

…And yet.

…And yet.

I keep showing up every day.

I keep my mindset focused on tweaking and course correcting.

I try not to let the unrealistic expectation of perfect stop me from taking any action at all.

Because while nothing I ever do is perfect…

…Something in that direction is always lightyears ahead of nothing done at all.

We become writers by writing.
We become runners by running.
We become musicians by playing music.

All of the intention in the world pales in comparison to even an ounce of practice.

…Which is an excellent place to start, I’d say: an ounce.

Then simply aim to do that much again the next day… and the day after that.

Let that be your blueprint.

Soon, you’ll be lightyears ahead of most.

And it won’t be long thereafter either that you’ll notice… you’ve suddenly become.

Every afternoon, for several year, I would read one or two pages from four different books. Three of them were a-page-a-day daily insight type books and one of them was a book I finished reading that I was uploading a quote at a time from to MoveMe Quotes.

I fell off this habit about three months ago.

Partly because of travel, partly because of work bleeding into home life, partly because of laziness. But what kept me from starting it up again for so long was mostly because of the loss of momentum—I lost my streak.

The other day, I caught myself thinking: “I can’t wait to start my daily afternoon reading habit again in the New Year.”

And it made me realize that… today is a new year. Today is as good a day to start it back up as any other day in the year. I don’t need a New Year to read three pages from three books and upload one quote to my quote website. I could do that now.

And so I did.

And it’s a reminder to me, and maybe you, that your new year starts whenever you decide it does—and today is as good a day as any to make that decision.

Do you know what’s better than cursing the litter? …Picking up even just one piece of trash.

Do you know what’s better than judging those who are out of shape? …Going on even just one walk with one of them.

Do you know what’s better than watching algorithmic content that triggers you? …Deliberately watching even just one piece of content that inspires you.

Do you know what’s better than being endlessly too busy? …Reprioritizing and making even just one block of time work in your favor.

Do you know what’s better than being a perfect role model who falls short sometimes? …Being an imperfect role model who continuously seeks improvement and shares lessons learned along the way.

Do you know what’s better than gigantic intention? …Even just one small action completed.