What an interesting question to contemplate: “What does this space (that I’ve designed) say about me?”
And maybe more interesting—a question I’ve been contemplating all weekend: “How can I redesign this space so that it speaks to the person I have evolved into and most want to become?”
Comparing apples to other apples is a fair comparison.
But people are not like apples. Comparing people to other people isn’t fair at all.
No two people are alike and as such, shouldn’t be looked at as apples to apples.
Yet, we people do this all of the time. We compare height, weight, ethnicity, face symmetry, hair color, eye color, bodily proportions, fitness level, education level, talent level, social media level, relationship status, highlight reels, bought brand names, number of friends, quality of life, and so… much… more…
The key, when it comes to inner work, is to release this compulsive tendency to compare yourself to others in an apples to apples kind of way. And to, instead, look at yourself as a one-of-one being who was made to be a completely unique expression of nature.
Peaches can be compared to peaches.
Marigolds can be compared to marigolds.
Oak trees can be compared to oak trees.
But you…?
…You can only be compared to who you were yesterday. And nobody on this earth else.
Figuring out who you are is like writing an essay.
Try to rush it and you’ll end up sounding like a copy-pasted version of somebody else.
Take your time and do the research… kneed your findings with your past experiences and current opinions… wrestle with words… iterate, iterate, iterate… hit publish and present yourself to the world…
And you’ll sound like the unique individual that you are.
Do this again and again and again… and you’ll sound more and more and more like who you were always meant to be.
Not because you weren’t when you rushed… but because you didn’t copy-paste.
…You did the hard work of uncovering something original.
What keeps us young isn’t our looks… it isn’t our physical fitness… it isn’t our knowledge of trends, fads, and what’s cool.
What keeps us young is flexibility. Yes, flexibility in body, but maybe even more so: our flexibility in mind.
Flexibility in mind allows us to adapt our definition of looks as we age; it allows us to redefine what physical fitness means as our bodies change; it allows us to move fluidly, unapologetically, confidently forward into new domains… ones that keep us thinking critically, curiously exploring, and growing in understanding.
Those who obsess over one very specific look, try to freeze their face, skin, and body on that look… and chronically live referencing a past that makes them more and more miserable the further away from that one look they drift.
Flexibility allows us to let go of specific definitions and live in the present. Which allows us to learn how to glow brightly as we are—without any taints of comparison lingering around.
Who we were then and who we are now are not two versions to be compared… but an iterative version that should be cherished and honored.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And if your eyes are tainted with a certain definition of beauty… how are other people’s eyes supposed to see the present version of you? Because believe it or not, our eyes create a filter that all other eyes must pass through. And if that filter is one of self-consciousness, disgust, and doubt… then that’s what they’ll see.
But if it’s one of self-confidence, acceptance, and grace… then how could others not see you in a similar, youthful light?
Yes, small changes done over an extended period of time add up to big change.
But, more importantly, small promises made and kept to ourself—which is what small changes done over an extended period of time is—adds up to big self-trust change.
Added up enough and suddenly our word isn’t as flimsy as sand… it’s solid as rock.
We do what we say we’re going to do because we’ve made THAT the habit. More powerful than any giant, one-off change we try to make that’s followed by countless promises made and broken.
History was a subject I struggled with in school.
Dates, names, countries… I had such a hard time remembering specifics.
A curiosity has come alive, however, as of late while reading historical fiction that’s changing this internal narrative.
It started with a fascination of Miyamoto Musashi and the historical context that surrounded him during feudal Japan.
And has grown considerably within the past few weeks as I began to read All The Light We Cannot See after having recently finished The Book Thief.
Typically, reading was something I did to understand overarching story lines, general plot, and to absorb key insights. Dates, names, countries… I mostly just skimmed and paid little attention to.
Now I find myself curiously doing deep dives into dates and what was happening in countries at that time and what it might mean for the character context.
And let me tell you… this is an excellent use of AI.
I use Claude and it’s like having a brilliant little history professor at my bedside ready to answer my ignorance with crucial digestible context.
Some questions I’ve recently asked: “What was happening in the world, specifically around France, around August 1944…” and “Can you give me an overview of d-day?” and “What does congenital cataracts… bilateral… mean?” and “The story went back in time. Can you tell me what was happening in Germany in 1936 roughly?” and “What was so humiliating for Germany at the end of ww1?”
I share this for two reasons: (1) “I’m not good at history” is a made up story—one that can be rewritten at any time; (2) Using AI as a comprehension companion is a highly underrated life hack.
We have our family mask, our work mask, our friend mask…
And in most cases each of those masks have several variations based on which family members or work associates or friend groups we’re around.
These masks that get created, however, the ones that we wear, aren’t always fitting to who we want to be or how we ideally want to present.
We let people manipulate our masks… we let criticism and influence steer us away from our own tastes… we sometimes wear a mask for so long that we forget that it’s outdated or that we’ve outgrown it or, worse yet, what it even looks like…!
But once you realize that it’s acting and masks… the beautiful thing is… you can reclaim your power as an actor.
You can choose in this moment that you want to adjust your mask, shed a layer that’s no longer relevant, or add a component that your highest self would have.
Take a few moments today to “lay” your masks down and take a closer look.
Are they each aligned with who you most want to be?
Are there little tweaks that need to be done that you can take care of today?
The ones who wear only one mask are limited.
Be free. Expand your closet. Be anything and everything you want to be when the time calls for it.
Make taking masks off and putting new ones on seamless… smooth… invigorating…
Limiting your spirit to just one is a situation that makes none of our spirits feel free.