Category: Priorities

On a flight to San Diego, California, I got to talking with a mom who had two kids.

On the topic of parenting, she mentioned that her and her husband split the responsibilities 50/50… but not in the way you might think.

One day, she will do 100% of the parenting roles. Including meal prep, transportation, chores, homework assistance, bedtime, etc. And while she’s doing that, the husband gets time to himself to eat out, spend time with friends, relax from chores, do his own extracurricular activities/hobbies, do inner work, etc.

On the next day, the husband will do 100% of the parenting roles and the wife gets to do whatever she would like in the same above mentioned ways.

They’ve been doing it this way for years and she said it works incredibly well for them. The reason? They’re not both trying to do all of the above mentioned things—parenting and personal work—all at the same time.

…Which usually results in a fulfilling completion of none of it for anybody.

Instead they’re giving each other a chance to focus on one specific avenue—parenting or personal work—and allowing for enough space and time to do it in full.

We can put a lot of pressure on ourselves to do more… more that gets added on top of the ton we already do… which usually happens when we compare ourselves to others…

Or we can choose to do less… which is usually best done when we remove the distractionary, unimportant stuff from our day…

…Which opens up space. Blank space. Blank canvas space. Boring blank canvas space.

The kind of boring blank canvas space that’ll inspire you to do more. That’ll pull you to do more. That’ll get you lost in the more.

After a school tour, a trial class, and feedback from my instructors, I met with a father about signing his two kids up for martial arts classes.

The class schedule, we soon realized, would be an issue.

His work schedule was sporadic and would only allow him to bring one of his kids in one time per week—and he didn’t have any alternative help.

I told him one time per week wouldn’t be enough and that I wouldn’t recommend signing his child up until he was sure he would be able to bring him in to at least two.

He agreed and we set up a follow up time when he could sign his other child up.

When that day came, he surprised me and told me he was ready to sign up both.

I asked him what changed and he said: I requested an extra day off work so that I could make this work. This is important and I realized I needed to make it a priority. Otherwise, what am I doing all that work for?

He continued to tell me that even though money might be a little more tight, seeing his kids grow up to be the best little humans they could be was priceless. And he felt our program could help him do that.

…What are you doing all that work for?

I’m pretty busy at work these days.

I could pull an 80-hour work week and still have plenty left to do—all things I’m trying to cram into my 40-hour work week as best I can.

…Maybe you can relate.

Add on top of that the fact that oftentimes as I’m working, I’ll get interrupted.

I’ll have kids peek-a-boo into my office, parents stop in to ask questions, instructors ask for advice or guidance, staff share daily happenings, students want to talk or chat the chat with me… and so on…

And it makes getting all of the busy done, as efficiently as I’d like to, challenging.

…But you know what?

The inefficiencies are where the magic happens, isn’t it?

It’s those moments spent peek-a-booing with kids… chatting with parents about life… giving instructors guidance… interacting with my staff whom I’m so proud to have on my team… and chatting the pointless chat with students… that make all of the damn work I’m trying to efficiently get done—worth it.

Without them, I’d be clacking away at a keyboard… for what? For whom?

…Maybe you can relate?

The busier I get, the more tempted I am to steal time from other priorities.

I’ve noticed that I’ve been eating time away from my lunch breaks…

I’ve been staying later into the evenings, pulling extra minutes from my editing, reading, sleeping time…

I’ve even noticed that my thinking is more and more work oriented—most noticeably when I sit down to write… I end up circling work thoughts for longer than usual before I’m able to deviate into other trains of thought.

For some, this is how it goes. And work continues to creep further and further into everyday life and steal more and more from everything else—you know, the things that keep you balanced.

But as the old adage goes, we meditate when we’re free… and when we’re busy, we should meditate twice as long.

Resist the urge to steal time from other priorities. Fight for balance. Too much work and not enough play, remember, isn’t even good for work anyway.

Routine is good for building habits. For aligning with momentum. For compounding growth.

Change is good for building richness. For exploring new paths. For resiliency training.

Sure, go to work. But have you ever tried to build a side-hustle?

Sure, workout every morning. But have you ever tried a martial arts class?

Sure, have family dinners. But have you ever tried ordering food from a different city (yes, you can do that)?

Sure, have date night. But have you ever made a random night into a date?

Sure, have travel plans. But have you ever just called a friend and taken them on a spontaneous hike?

If your life is feeling too monotonous or boring… it’s because it probably is! Add in some spice and give yourself something to look forward to, ponder over, or get challenged with.

And if your life is feeling too crazy or unhinged… it’s because it probably is! Ground yourself into ritualistic practices that you can look forward to every day, without fail, that can be done even on your busiest days.

Life is best lived in balance. And getting this even just a little more right can make things feel a lotta bit more better.