Category: Doing What’s Hard

I (finally) finished reading Ray Dalio’s book, Principles this week.

…I say “finally,” because sheesh did this book take me a while to complete.

…Two months in case you’re wondering. And not just because of it’s length (567 pages), but because of how dry it felt to me.

What I thought it was going to be were economic principles from one of the most successful hedge fund managers of all time (i.e. when to invest and in what based on varying economic markets). But, what it ended up being were personal and company principles, laid out like a legal document, outlining every single principle he’s incorporated into his life and business over the decades of his work.

…To be clear, the value is massive and there’s a ton to learn from it.

But, to read before bed after a long day of work?

…It proved to be an incredible uphill battle.

“Why didn’t you stop and read something else?” …You might be wondering.

To which I’d reply, I almost did.

But what I always come back to, and the reason I didn’t and stayed the uphill course, was the idea of seeing challenges through.

We do hard things not so we can suffer unnecessarily, but so we can prepare ourselves better for life.

…Illustrated perfectly in how easily I’m able to read my next book, The Prophet by Khalil Gibran. One night and I’m already halfway through. And not because I’m a fast reader, but because I’ve trudged my way through hard reading—and now have context that gives my reading depth, confidence, and appreciation.

…The same kinds of things that come from doing other hard things in life, too.

As a leader/role model/parent/etc, saying what you expect is one thing.

…Inspecting what you expect is another.

If getting certain tasks done is important, delegating them and asking someone to do it once isn’t enough. You must follow up. And even after you’ve confirmed a good track record, it’s still important to inspect their work regularly—albeit maybe in less frequent time intervals.

What’s important to remember is that we humans have the tendency to skew our directions towards the path of least resistance—always—and oftentimes even unbeknownst to us.

And without any checks… there won’t be any rebalances.

If we want to keep our trajectory pointed towards excellence—then we’re going to need to hold each other accountable. Because excellence, essentially, is the path filled with the most resistance. And we don’t just stay on that type of path without help, accountability, or well built self-discipline.

The path we’re innately wired to follow is the one that leaves us bound to land somewhere in the middle or below—where average effort and results reign supreme. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

But if excellence is what you’re after (what you’re seriously after), then rewiring is going to need to be involved. And not just a one-and-done kind of rewiring… but, the constant, deliberate, above-and-beyond kind.

…The kind that always gets checked so it’s always staying balanced.

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Somebody asked me if I would lie for them today.

When I explained that I wouldn’t and why, I also included the following line to serve as a reminder/ forewarning… a line that didn’t come from some picture quote post I saw somewhere on the internet… but from a place of experience learned the hard way. I said:

Telling a lie now moves difficulty into your future; telling the truth now moves difficulty into your past.

Whenever you find yourself on the fence about whether or not you should tell the truth or lie… keep this in mind. And if that’s not enough, remember that the future difficulty compounds vs the now difficulty because of the accumulating guilt, lie remembering, performing/acting, and follow up questioning.

…Sometimes—oftentimes—difficult now is actually the much easier option.

While running the Turkey Trot this morning (an 8k run in Buffalo to support the YMCA), I happened to pass two kids in conversation right as we were all passing the one mile marker.

“One mile down!” The maybe-eight-year-old kid said to his friend.

“One mile done already?!” The maybe-seven-year-old kid said in response.

“Pfffft! That was easy!” He continued.

“Oh yeah it was!” The maybe-eight-year-old shouted assuringly.

And then half a beat passed where neither of them said anything.

To which the maybe-seven-year-old said:

“Do you want to… like… walk for a little bit?”

“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.” The maybe-eight-year-old said quickly as he released the effort from his trot.

“Yeah, we’ll like run for a mile, then walk for a bit, then….” The maybe seven-year-old was saying as the rest of their conversation faded into the background while I continued my run.

And while I found it to be a hilarious exchange between two young boys who were undoubtedly still exploring what their capabilities and limits were… I also found it to be inspiring.

Here they were… running together in an 8k… at maybe-seven and maybe-eight-years-old… trying to push each other and keep a positive mindset… while also being mindful of their state along the way…

I don’t know if they finished the run.

But, one thing I know for sure: They won by being there.

When I have nothing to write about, I challenge myself to write as little as possible while still adding value.

It’s a trick I use to get started.

But, it isn’t really a trick—it’s the goal.

And I oftentimes have to remind myself of it.

Because there have been plenty of days when I’ve spent hours crafting these 1-minute messages… days when I’ve gotten a ton of great feedback on a piece… days when I was feeling myself and wrote something that felt so good it surprised even me… that could each easily contribute to making that new day’s writing task feel that much harder.

…All caused, at its root, by comparison.

When I’m pressuring myself to create something that compares to some of my best pieces… that have garnered some of my best known results… of course the starting from scratch feels harder.

…But, when I drop the comparisons and remind myself what the goal is—to show up and add a little value (both to myself and others), starting suddenly feels a helluva lot easier.

Which is as true for exercising, reading, meditating, working, creating, etc.—as it is for writing.