Category: Experiential Living

Yesterday, I found myself sitting stuck between the idea of staying in or going out… and I spent upwards of 30 minutes staring out my front window trying to decide which path to take.

See I was tired from the day and am always down for a relaxing night in. But I also had the chance to go see an incredible DJ play two hours away from where I live—which was an event I had been thinking about on and off for several weeks leading up to the day.

And when the moment came to make the call… I couldn’t decide. And the longer I waited, the more stuck I felt.

…Until I had the following thought: there will be a time when I won’t even be able to entertain this as an option anymore. And staying in will just be the default.

And with that… I gathered up the energy I had, bought the ticket last minute, packed up a toothbrush and some power bars, and hit the road.

I know for sure it would’ve been something I would’ve regretted if I didn’t go. And if you ever find yourself stuck in a similar situation… maybe a similar line of thinking can help you get to where your life’s limited energy has the potential to take you… before it’s too late.

While out with a friend last night, we decided we wanted to find a place to dance.

The first spot we went to had us barely two stepping. It was slow and there wasn’t really any dancing vibes. We tried, but the most they were able to get out of us, movement-wise, was a trip to the bar.

The second spot featured a DJ my friend knew. A tried-and-proven vibe controller and he didn’t let either of us down. Neither of us stopped moving the whole night and couldn’t help but overflow a contagious energy to everybody else who was in our general vicinity.

Creating a split screen image in your head of us at spot #1 barely two-stepping and us at spot #2 uncontrollably expressing ourselves can illustrate beautifully the power and importance of alignment and environment.

When you’re out of alignment, you’re forced to operate at a suboptimal level. You do your best to bring the energy, raise the vibration, and express your best self—but, you’ll almost always get throttled.

When you’re in alignment, you almost can’t stop your optimal level from expressing itself. Your energy overflows uncontrollably, your vibration is pulsing perfectly, and your best version is simply doing its thing!

That said, there is an undeniable responsibility that lies in the hands of the person—it’s not 100% the environment’s job to bring out the best in you. But you better believe that environment plays a major role.

…A role worth thinking about as much as you might spend thinking about how you most want to show up in the world.

A parent got upset with me about how one of our martial arts programs was presented.

I’ve been thinking about the interaction a lot. And, consequently, how our programs are presented.

It’s lead to some intriguing conversations with my associates and some new ideas on how we might restructure and proceed. In, what we hope will be, a better way.

And if I (we) can continue to channel the emotional energy we might feel from harsh criticism and heated feedback into constructive brainstorming and actions for improvement… then, in some sense, we should be thankful for harsh criticism and heated feedback.

…Because evolution comes from pressure, not comfort. And if what comes unto criticism can withstand the flames, then it comes out on the other side better; more tested; more polished.

And if it can’t… then it’s a good thing it was brought to your attention and burned.

…Because otherwise, you’d be left peddling a lower, less evolved thing from a lower, less evolved version that has a lower, less evolved experience and understanding.

…And nobody wants that.

Yes, you’re on a mission. Yes, you have an itinerary. Yes, you’re on a timeline.

But… why be so rigid?

A side quest implies a following of curiosity… a swapping of itinerary for serendipity… an exchange of hitting future benchmarks for surrendering to what’s immediately present.

Urges to side quest nudge at you all of the time. But most likely, you’re too busy trying to be productive…. Or too distracted with external stimuli… or too brainwashed into following an exact path perfectly… that you miss them… or dismiss them… or even knowingly kiss them goodbye.

But what’s so important to remember is that side questing is an urge that’s usually sent directly from the soul.

It’s hard to explain but feeling called to start a little side-hustle or go chat to that other group of people or detour down a different life path… is a feeling worth honoring… and at the very least… contemplating.

Because just like it’s true that our gut usually tells us something is wrong before our brain knows why… so, too, will our gut tell us that there’s something right about a decision before our brain knows why.

You just have to learn to listen and muster up some courage to say yes.

After all, why be in such a hurry to finish your life mission in the first place?

Being spontaneous can be quite stressful on people.

Generally speaking, people like to know where they’re going, how they’re getting there, what to expect, how to prepare, what they’ll need, and who they might run into or see.

…But knowing all of that defeats the point of spontaneity.

Spontaneity is about trusting yourself and your intuition, your experience, and your capabilities… and leaning into the day with only a whiff of a direction or a gist of a goal.

And today, not only was I able to flex that spontaneity muscle, but I was able to do it with someone who was equally trusting.

He had complete faith in the process, carried zero worries with him throughout the day, and simply focused on contributing fully to the moments we found ourselves in.

Whether you’re being the spontaneous one or find yourself in the accompanying role… learning to trust yourself and how to contribute more fully to the overall process can lead to significantly more enjoyable days.

One trap I’ve fallen into in the past is spending too much time preparing and planning—and not enough time experimenting and doing.

I recognized this in myself very early into my DJing journey.

I was spending SO. MUCH. TIME. downloading music, filling in meta data, setting hot cues and memory points, and creating playlists…

So much so that I was barely doing any actual DJing.

So I’m trying to more mindfully walk this balance between prep and go. Because, yes, too much go and not enough prep leaves you confused, disjointed, and without a coherent sound… but too much prep and not enough go leaves you just as confused and disjointed as you come face to face with the decks.

So much of life is about finding the balance between these two.

…About sorting through the infinite information that’s available and acting on what’s chosen.

…About building book smarts, but also street smarts.

…About picking a direction and just as importantly… walking the path picked.

How are you doing with this balancing act?