Category: Living Well

Being A “Hotel Princess” vs Being A “Tent Bum”

Published on June 30, 2026

Sometimes it’s good to be a “hotel princess”—as one of my friends put it—and sometimes it’s good to be a “tent bum.”

Being a “hotel princess” is about choosing a situation where zero choices will need to be made about how your basic living needs are going to be met. It’s about choosing running water, air conditioned rooms, Wi-Fi access, room service, and soft beds. It’s about choosing comfort. And there is certainly a time and a place for this.

Being a “tent bum” is about choosing a situation where all choices will need to be made about how your basic living needs are going to be met. It’s about flexing your survival skill muscles and challenging yourself to figure out how you’re going to stay hydrated/clean, warm/cool, connected if/when needed, functional/fed, and where/how you’re going to set up a shelter for rest/recovery. It’s about intentionally choosing discomfort. Something many people in the modern world don’t make a time or space for in the least.

Even camping in the modern age looks less and less like the latter and is looking more and more like the former—there’s RVs, remote AirBnBs, and glamping setups galore.

And I get it—travel can be stressful enough. Especially travel to remote parts of the world where there are so many unknowns as is.

…But if you want an inner work challenge? An opportunity to see—and possibly grow—what you’re made of?

Try being a “tent bum” for a few days in the woods.

It’ll most likely elicit more inward reflection and growth than being a “hotel princess” ever would.

Show And Prove

Published on June 27, 2026

I watched a dance battle yesterday.

It was open to anybody who wanted compete and there were three judges who picked the top 16, then the winner of each 1v1 battle, until the bracket led them to the final four.

Before they ran the final battles, however, to crown the winner… they paused the show and did something that’s apparently tradition in dance battle culture called “Show and Prove.”

And while the final four competitors prepared, the judges each did a one minute performance to show and prove why they were chosen and qualified to be in the judges seat.

The audience loved it. The competitors respected it. And in a world of keyboard warriors where so many people are putting themselves in the “judges seat” and hating on and critiquing things they have never even done themselves—it felt like a refreshing thing to share.

Meaningless Easy

Published on June 21, 2026

In all my years running black belt and higher degree test, I’ve never had anybody say to me they regret participating in a really hard test.

Heck, candidates are much quicker to complain about a test being easy than they ever are to complain about a test being hard.

In fact, hard tests usually lead to bragging more than any kind of complaint.

And I think this illustrates something about all of us. That surface level, sure, we want to follow the path of least resistance. And do what’s easy. And complain about all that’s hard with our life.

…But that we also crave meaning.

And that deep down we know that nothing worthwhile comes easily. And so when we sign up for something that’s supposed to be hard, if we don’t get it, we complain because what we were after wasn’t “easy”—what we were after was meaning.

And by not giving us hard, it isn’t that you gifted us easy… it’s that you took away meaning.

…And that’s much harder to deal with than a meaningless easy.

Acts Of Humility

Published on June 20, 2026

Some of our martial arts students will shave their heads before big black belt or higher degree tests as a demonstration of their humility—to demonstrate that they are more than their hair. And that it isn’t the hair that makes the person, it’s the character that does.

And some of the students will really struggle with this… they’ll worry about what other people might say to them about it and/or that they’ll get made fun of or ostracized in some way.

…But I tell you what, the students who do go through with it? The ones who choose to sacrifice beauty for a chance to build character? The ones who decide to trust in their self-opinion more than in the opinion of others? The ones who choose the difficult route over the comfort zone option?

These are the students who get the most from their black belt and higher degree tests. These are the students who leave the test, not just with a different colored belt or added bar, but with a different colored character and an example that raises the bar.

…Because these are the students—not just of the martial arts who are in it for belts and titles—but of life who are in it for self-awareness and experiential knowledge.

Have You Ever Had A Lucid Dream?

Published on June 18, 2026

An experience where, suddenly, you become aware that you are dreaming while still inside the dream?

What did you do with such awareness? Such power? …What would you do with such power and awareness?

…Who’s to say this isn’t a dream right now?

Are we ever not dreaming?

I’m not so sure…

Think about the dreams of your life. The ones you’ve made come true… and the ones you’re working hard to realize in the future.

Think about how your awareness has shifted as your dreams shifted. From dreaming of toys, to tech, to cars, to homes… From dreaming of careers at 6 years old, then 12 years old, then 18 years old, then 28 years old… From dreaming of friends, to girl/boy friends, to spouses, to becoming grandparents… what you’ve dreamt in your mind shaped how you acted in the lucid dream of your reality.

Think now about the power you have at your disposal. To know you’re inside of a lucid dream and you’ve just become aware. Are you gonna spend that time worrying anxiously about whatever you were worrying anxiously about before? Are you going to waste your power sitting powerlessly in front of screens? Are you going to let nightmare-ish surrounding events stop you from living as a hero (if not at the very least to a select few)?

I’m not so sure the magic of consciousness is much different than the magic of dreams. And if we started leaning into that magic a little more… and really utilized the power that comes from that awareness… maybe we’d start living a reality that felt more like a lucid dream.

Card Flooding

Published on June 16, 2026

A student of mine was telling me about a tough situation she was facing.

Her brother-in-law was diagnosed with cancer, had just finished some intense rounds of treatment, got early release from the hospital, and came home to a water-damaged house—which involved all kinds of challenges, not the least of which being her brother-in-law was supposed to be recovering in a clean and sterile environment.

So this student went to the house to help in any way she could and saw her sister break down and start crying—and this was the sister that rarely cried. She was the strong one… she was the rock… she was the one who did the supporting.

…And one of the toughest moments was when she couldn’t even hug her crying sister. She had to socially distance to minimize the spreading of germs—and had to essentially stand there and watch her strong sister breakdown.

…And so what did she do instead?

…She thought about how her sister was very much a “card person”—you know, the type who would send hand-written cards at every excuse of a holiday and celebration to those closest to her.

…And thus came the idea to “card flood” her sister.

She personally messaged 40+ people asking them to write a card to her sister offering their support and kind wishes. And asked if they would send the card by the end of the week. This way, her sister was flooded with a version of support and kind wishes that she could receive… and in a form she deeply resonated with… and could keep close to her heart throughout the entirety of her trying time.

On Learning From The Best

Published on June 15, 2026

Years ago, I exchanged martial arts private lessons for cooking lessons from a student of mine who was a chef.

I would bike to his restaurant, meet him in the basement, and act as his apprentice for a few hours each week—cutting, caramelizing, mixing, mincing, simmering, and sautéing with his direction.

And on the flip side, I would meet him at the martial arts school, teach him one-on-one lessons in forms, self-defense, and weapons.

This continued weekly-ish for about 6 months.

Fast forward to 2026, and I recently started a subscription to a food + recipe delivery service. They deliver recipes and all the groceries you’ll need for those meals. All you have to do is follow the steps and voila! …Your meals are done within a reasonable timeframe (one that you can pre-select).

…I am learning more from this latter approach than I ever did doing private lessons from a professional chef.

And in retrospect, the big reasons why include: (1) He was preparing meals for 50+ people at a time—so the quantities, portions, pot ware used, etc., was significantly inflated from what I needed to be doing for my one-stomach-self; (2) He was giving me intuitive advice—things based on taste, not recipes… and my palette wasn’t nearly as trained as his; (3) The experience gap was too great—I was simply too much of a beginner to really digest everything he would say.

This is all to say, sometimes you don’t need to learn from the best in a field… in fact, it might serve you (and your wallet) better to learn from those who are just a few steps above where you want to be.