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Category: Transforming Pain

What Do You Say To Someone Who Says To You They’re Dying?

Published on August 25, 2026

“The cancer is winning.” I was told today.

“One year. Maybe six months left to live.”

“I was doing great yesterday, but today, I’m not doing good at all.”

We sat together for a while. Both processing. Me blurting out a swear word every few minutes. Him slowly cluing me in to where his head was at.

“…I must stay positive.”

“…I have to keep trying to take class.”

“…I might be losing, but I am going to write this final chapter.”

And it was in those three lines that I think the words he needed to hear found him. All I did was emphasize, reinforce, and offer my full support.

Here’s why I think those three lines were so on point:

We must stay positive. Not delusionally positive while the world burns down around us. But strategically optimistic. So that we can see opportunity, believe that the world can be made into a better place, and trust in ourselves to act.

We must keep learning. Because if we’re not learning, we’re regressing. There is no stagnant. And what we find on the other side of our curiosities is legacy. Because curiosities lead to topic, topic leads to creation, creation leads to tribe, and tribe… well, tribe is who carries forth our legacy after we’re gone.

We must control what’s within our control. There was nothing left to do. Cancer was winning. But choosing how to spend his remaining time? Who to spend that time with? What words he wanted to author on the final pages of his life’s book? …All well within his control. And exactly where the mind should be focused when all else feels so uncontrollable.

A Primal Awakening [Poem]

Published on August 13, 2026

You’ll be back you say
As an unmissable plan
A stage. A promise. A DJ.
Rips you away.

Six hours we danced
A primal awakening
Lost. Forgotten. Found.
You—the light; my now.

I learned everything about you
Yet learned nothing at all
Stomping. Screaming. Your sound.
An ancestral introduction.

The ecstatic in you
Brought out the ecstatic in me
Mud. Goosebumps. Aroused.
…To stop that? Leave?

But plan triumphed over presence
And this, too, must end
Release. Detach. Allow.
It never gets easier.

And me? Never better.
…Back to phase: mend.

P.s. You can read all of my poems here.

Remember Your Mortality

Published on August 12, 2026

A friend and I got to talking about memento mori—the Latin phrase that means “Remember your mortality.”

I asked if she had ever heard of the Memento Mori Calendar. She said no. After I explained what it was, she said, “Oh no… that would freak me out!”

To which I replied, “That’s the point!”

You get the Memento Mori calendar, not for decoration, aesthetics, or because it’ll be a fun coloring activity for you to do… but precisely so that it’ll freak you out.

…And hopefully so much so that you’ll get busy living your life to the fullest. With fewer hesitations… more bold choices… and no regrets left when your time comes.

Because your time will come.

…It’s not a question of if… only a question of during which dot on the calendar.

Whispers From Somewhere Deep

Published on July 15, 2026

It’s weird.

When I’m stuck, thinking about what to write but can’t think of anything good to say… a word will whisper itself into my mind.

Like a mantra of sorts. A focal point for my awareness. A prompt from my meandering muse.

And it’s never at the outset. Only after I’ve struggled for a bit. Maybe 15 – 30 minutes into a good staring at the blank page session that it’ll suddenly appear…

Unprompted. Unpracticed. And weirdly unconscious.

“…Build.”

For years, this word speaks itself into existence in my mind.

And to this day, I’m not quite sure why or where it comes from.

But what I choose to believe is that whispers that come from somewhere deep, somewhere unconscious… are oftentimes far more powerful, and carry much more weight than anything the conscious is screaming, spiraling, and yapping about in the forefront.

Time To Kill

Published on July 13, 2026

I had some time to kill after an errand and before a dinner yesterday.

…Not enough time to go home and too early to show up to dinner.

So I started driving around aimlessly when I found myself curiously turning into a cemetary.

I’m not quite sure why I decided to make that turn, but I leaned into the moment anyway.

I took my foot off the gas and allowed my car to creep its way slowly, slowly forward.

Past the gravestones… past the trees… past the flower dedications…

And I read the names.

I imagined the lives lived.

I saw laughing and crying, working and dancing, succeeding and failing…

But mostly, I saw loving and losing.

It took me about 20 minutes to slow roll through that cemetery…

And it resulted in one of the most profound meditations I’ve had in a while.

Each one of those gravestones represented a life lived by a person who had a consciousness just like us… who similarly and most likely felt like the main character of reality… who knew about mortality, of course, but never really believed it actually applied to them, too.

Maybe you should try it? Maybe it’d result in a similar experience for you? Maybe it’s exactly the kind of perspective sobering errand you could use in your life right about now?

The Time And Space That Follows Hardship

Published on July 7, 2026

In a lot of ways, the time and space that immediately follows hardship isn’t the hardest.

In many cases, that time and space is filled with busyness and urgency and task lists.

Think about loss. What usually follows is funeral arrangements, hosting logistics, memory/legacy displays, writing a eulogy, vigils, etc.

Think about injuries/health scares. What usually follows are doctor visits, X-Rays/scans, personal research, secondary opinions, rehab/physical therapy, etc.

Think about injustice. What usually follows is evidence gathering, lawyer visits, activism, awareness raising, research and case development and rallying, etc.

…Yes, in the time and space that immediately follows hardship, there seems to be a constant flow of things that need to be done—things our mind can focus on—that takes it away from the pain of the hardship.

And in many ways, it’s in this busyness and action that we can constructively channel the big emotional energy contained within our sadness/anger/grief. Although it can also become an avoidance strategy and lead to a suppression that can later explode and completely break a person down.

Which is why it’s important to remember that it’s when the dust settles… when the task list thins to completion… when the time and space is no longer filled with busyness and urgency… that the real hardship begins.

The hardship of creating a new normal… of having to stare an uncomfortable/unknown/undesired reality in the face… of not having any more immediate distractions and having to really feel and be with the pain…

…And to not forget this when those in your circle experience hardship.

Your immediate presence is undoubtedly valuable.

But your ongoing check-ins, unannounced visits, and random messages are oftentimes… exponentially more so.

Leave Everything Behind

Published on July 3, 2026

One day, everything I’ve ever written will no longer be read.

…Everything I’ve ever recorded will no longer be watched.

…Everything I’ve ever said and done will be forgotten.

…Everyone I’ve ever loved and cared for will be gone.

And yet.

I still choose to keep on writing.

…To keep on recording and sharing things.

…To keep on saying and doing things.

…To keep on loving and caring and building and creating.

Because the point isn’t to leave something behind that people will always remember me by after I’m gone.

The point is to leave everything behind. To exhaust this temporary experience with every ounce of life force I have. To hold on to nothing and give all that’s inside to the collective in some small way or form.

Living for some legacy we won’t be there to feel?

…Or living to feel?

…And letting legacy do what it will as we leave our experience naked and empty-handed, yet content and full.