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Category: Transforming Pain

The Character Revealing Mix Of Camping and Live Music

Published on June 30, 2026

I spent this past weekend camping in the forest and listening to live music.

Which is an interesting mix.

The music unites and shines a light on everybody’s best—most joyful, relaxed, playful—side.

And the camping challenges and brings out a side of people that’s usually hidden—the cranky, stressed, irritable—side.

…Generally speaking, of course,

And I point this out because both are important. Not only to seek out when building relationships with others, but to reflect on as you build up the relationship you have with yourself.

Being “joyful, relaxed, and playful” when you’re well rested, around incredible energy, and hearing music that vibes with your soul—is easy. Again, generally speaking.

Being “joyful, relaxed, and playful” when you’re sore from walking/dancing, around irritable energy, and hearing comments and sounds that mess with your vibe? …Not so easy.

…But incredibly impressive and reflective of a person who has done their inner work.

Which isn’t to say you should never be cranky, stressed, or irritable. Those emotions are certainly signals that are most likely signaling things about your environment you should take note of and/or change.

…But it could just as likely be signaling things about yourself that you should take note of and/or change, too.

In What Expressive Medium Do You Find Yourself Lost?

Published on June 28, 2026

Find the medium where you feel you can best express yourself and lean in.

Maybe it’s music. Maybe it’s art. Maybe it’s sport.

Maybe it’s dancing. Maybe it’s painting. Maybe it’s basketball.

Maybe it’s line dancing. Maybe it’s ballet. Maybe it’s ecstatic dancing.

Maybe it’s watercolor. Maybe it’s oil painting. Maybe it’s spray painting.

Maybe it’s casual pick-up basketball. Maybe it’s in an amateur league. Maybe it’s in a professional league.

The thing is, where you find yourself lost in an expressive medium… that’s where you’ll find your most authentic self.

…Not when you’re in a business meeting, or on a first date, or making a video for a social media audience. In each of those examples, there’s a self-consciousness. A focus on what the other person thinks and a desire to give your best impression. And so you put on the best fitting personality mask that you think will elicit the best response.

When you’re lost in an expressive medium, however? And time flies by? And there’s no self-consciousness?

That’s where the real you shows his/her face.

That’s where the source of some of your most potent life energy will be.

And that… is where your best life and favorite people will be.

What Is A Celebration Of Life?

Published on May 30, 2026

…It’s an event where people come together and celebrate—in a way most appropriate for the person—a life lived.

We celebrate this life because it’s a miracle it ever even happened—against odds in the trillions to one ballpark (that’s trillions with a “t”). We celebrate this life because of the impact it had on ours—one that helped shape our character and identity as we know it, in both the biggest and tiniest of ways. We celebrate this life because of the impact it had on others—an impact which likely rippled further out into the world than they or we could ever truly know.

And yes, we mourn the loss because the above has come to an end.

…But, does it though?

What if the celebration of life event is an exercise in keeping the person’s impact alive?

What if we could carry the best of that person’s legacy with us and continue to ripple it forward into the lives of others?

What if the person we lost was a byproduct of hundreds of thousands of people’s legacies who came before… all totaling up to the person we loved so dearly?

And what if by celebrating them not only at the event, but regularly, you’re helping total up the character and identity of those around into something millions of others will eventually come to appreciate and love so dearly?

…Now What?

Published on May 28, 2026

Dear busy person,

A colleague and friend of mine just found out he has 6 months to 2 years to live.

This news could’ve just as easily been given to you.

…It could actually be beneficial for you to imagine it was.

Close your eyes. Visualize yourself in a doctor’s office after getting tests done the previous week. Today is results day. The doctor comes in and gets right to the point—no small talk. The above is the situation. And it’s said plainly and as a matter of fact. He says he’s sorry and walks out.

…What exactly were you so busy doing again?

…What was it that you were complaining about again?

…What important thing(s) did you say you were going to wait until later to do again?

The thought of death gives us the urgency to really live—whatever that means to you.

But when we bury death as an abstract, foreign concept into the deep, dark corners of our mind—we lose that urgency, don’t we?

Maybe it’s time we resurface it. Maybe it’s time we think about it again. Maybe today is a good day to imagine we only have 6 months left to live.

…Now what?

A Walk By The Water

Published on May 19, 2026

“You should take him on a vacation… so that he can best enjoy the time he has left.”

“…Why? So we can forget and drink beers on the beach? …No. No. I’m not doing that. I’m not letting him give up. I’m not giving up. I’ll take him for a walk by the water… so we can talk. I think that’s what he needs most—what he wants most right now. I’ll even help him change is lifestyle so that all the crap gets cut. But quitting isn’t what I want on either of our minds.”

—After hearing a mutual friend’s cancer metastasized and there was nothing more the doctors could do.

The “Fruits” Of Life

Published on May 2, 2026

This weekend I’m participating in a 15+ hour martial arts training camp honoring the legacy of the late, great Professor Remy Amador Presas.

And in the martial arts world, this is how you honor another martial artist’s legacy: by training… by resurfacing their teachings… by sharing the art they helped create with the next generations…

…By actively bringing back to life the “fruits” of their life’s work.

And for those of you out there who have lost someone… maybe use this as a means of mediation: what was the “fruit” of that person’s life? And how can you actively care for those fruits so as to keep them alive? Who might you share these fruits with?

GIVE ME SOMETHING TO DO

Published on April 14, 2026

When there’s a lot going on and a lot to do, people can busy themselves in the distractions—just like they’re used to doing in their everyday private lives with screens, internet, and AI.

When there’s not a lot going on and nothing to do, most modern day people feel immediately a lack… like there’s something missing… and all of the usual fast-paced, quick dopamine-hitting energy pools and can feel pent up in a way that can sometimes feel like anxiety or irritability. Like: GIVE ME SOMETHING TO DO.

But what many of us don’t realize is that what we don’t give to distractions… doesn’t hurt our inner self… but is actually what we get to keep for ourselves. And that feeling of pent up energy? Is the perfect pool to channel and pull from for imagination, creativity, inner work, connection building, personal growth activities, and so on.

I’ve noticed this in myself as of late: the anxiety that builds the longer I avoid looking at my phone: particularly as I sit down to write each afternoon. “I’m missing something.” “I need to check on this or that.” “I wonder if he/she replied yet.” …And sometimes I cave. But sometimes I stay in that feeling of “anxiety” long enough to realize, it’s just a well of energy waiting to be tapped into and channelled into the very tasks that add depth and meaning to my life.

…And so it is for you.