Like fish, we typically grow in proportion to the size of our environment.
Put into a bowl, and we’ll grow bowl-size.
Put into the ocean, and we’ll grow ocean-size.
If you find yourself feeling stuck at “bowl-size,” try swimming into bigger environments. Or focus so much on growing yourself that the bowl-size simply is no longer a good fit.
There’s a whole ocean out there. For all of us. In every field and life dimension.
The question is… what size feels Goldilocks right to you?
I played 3 hours of intense basketball today.
Afterwards, I was spent.
…Walking to my car even felt like a chore.
And as I was driving home, I remembered I still needed to mow the lawn.
…And it felt like pushing a weighted sled at the gym for 45 minutes after running a half marathon.
But what’s interesting is later that night, I watched a legendary DJ set on YouTube that I’ve been meaning to watch for months.
…And for two hours, I danced in front of my TV without so much as a grimace—in fact, it flew by and left me feeling light as a cloud.
It was an incredible reminder that energy follows alignment. And if you’re fighting with yourself for energy, maybe it isn’t your energy levels so much as it’s your energy inhibitors and drains.
…And worth meditating on is how alignment can help fix both.
In order for yesterday’s strategy to work, however, there needs to be some honest conversation and inner work done around “living my best life.”
Because if “living my best life” is used as an excuse to live your most comfortable, distracted, instant-gratification-style life… then not only do I think you won’t find the best relationship of your life… but I don’t think you’ll find your best life.
Living your best life should actually look much like the opposite of the above.
It should look a little scary—like skydiving, or signing up for a dance class, or going up and talking to the person you find attractive. It should look present—like dinner with friends minus the phones, or walks surrounded by nature, or time spent alone meditating or creating or reading. It should look like an ongoing investment into the future—like healthy eating, or mindful movement, or skill-building from a place of beginner’s mind.
When you lean into that zone of discomfort and can keep your nervous system calm and ego quiet enough to proceed forward from that space consistently…
…Then, yes.
…The rest, I imagine, will take care of itself.
I got to train with a Muy Thai Master this weekend.
And at the end of our three hour session, he started speaking about health and wellness and how he wants to live to be a centenarian.
…But not if that meant having a low quality of life where he’s bedridden, lonely, and miserable.
His two very distinct and unique goals he set for himself—that he has attached to this goal of becoming a centenarian are: (1) That he’s able to bend over and pick up his grandkids and (2) That he’s able to walk independently on uneven surfaces.
And so he’s reverse engineering his lifestyle to prepare him for those two goals as he gets older. Which includes a wide array of thoughtful and deliberate strategies that he’s integrated into his lifestyle as protocols that he follows religously.
…And I just couldn’t help but think how refreshing those goals were in a sea of wished for yachts and added zeros.
In the modern age, many people work remotely. And common advice for people who do is to create a space that’s for work only. This way, the brain starts to associate the work with the space and eventually, just stepping into the space can trigger work mode.
In self-defense, the opposite practice is needed. In many cases, self-defense is practiced in martial arts schools, in very specific rooms, that often have a sacred element to them. But, much like how our mind starts to associate work mode with our designated work space, our mind can make a similar association with self-defense mode and our martial arts training space.
And we’ll rarely ever have to use our self-defense skills for real when we’re there… it’s precisely when we’re NOT there that we’ll have to use them. Which means we won’t be mentally primed and may get caught off guard.
If we can do careful visualization, serious role play, or reality based training, however… our mindset will start to expand outside of the martial arts school and into the rest of the world… which is an excellent strategy since that’s where it’ll be needed.
And this isn’t the only example of a skillset that’s required to be used in reality versus a classroom or computer screen… the question I have for you today is… which skill(s) are those for you?
This Thursday, there’s an opportunity for my martial arts students to perform at a local school in front of an auditorium of kids.
Thinking about who I want to have perform, I’ve been reflecting on: (1) Who has recently performed… (2) Who has a history of performing… and (3) Who has been noticeably practicing to perform…
In other words… an opportunity came knocking and the people I want to open the door to are the ones who have already been preparing for it…
Luck happens in life, as Seneca famously outlined, when preparation meets opportunity.
The problem for many of us in life, though, is that we’re too busy waiting to get picked by some great opportunity before we start preparing… when the ones who get picked are usually the ones who do the preparing way before the opportunity is even conceived.
“…Same old.”
It’s a question and response I hear at least once a day.
And today while at the doctor’s office to get bloodwork done, I heard somebody say, “Same old…” at least seven times in a row.
…It was as if he was trying to think of something not same old to say, but kept coming up short.
In a weekly meeting with one of my associates, we usually have a similar exchange—and I’m usually the one that says “Same old.” He always gives me a pretty thorough life update when I give him the knee jerk, “…You?”
It’s something I’ve been thinking about lately.
…What do I want to add to my days that’ll give it that remarkable spark?
What do I want to plan into next week? Next month? Next year? …That’ll give my tomorrow self that noteworthy change from the daily norm?
…And not because there’s anything wrong with “same old”—if you love your “same old,” then no harm, no foul.
But because without the question… without the reflection and experimentation… without the inner work prompt… we might never lean outside of our comfort zone enough to uncover or realize something new that’s absolutely worth remarking about.