Category: Problem Solving

One of my students stayed late after martial arts class last night and vented to me about many of the life problems they’re facing.

All justifiable ventings, too. This wasn’t complaining or gossip.

Towards the end, after about 30-minutes of sharing heavy, grief-causing, out-of-their-control life situations… they made one final comment about their cats.

…And how on top of everything else they had just mentioned, the damn cats won’t let them sleep.

If they’re locked out of the room, they’ll paw the bottom of the door and rattle it and mew until they’re let in.

If they’re let in, they’ll knock stuff over, crawl all over them while they’re sleeping, and mew before the sun comes up because they want to be fed.

To which I said, you know what?

…This is something you shouldn’t compromise on.

And if that means fixing the door so it doesn’t rattle… using ear plugs… getting a white noise machine… and locking the cats out of the room… then so be it.

Life is hard enough as is.

As was evidently outlined in the 30-minute vent session leading up to this point.

But what makes life absolutely intolerable and miserable is being intolerant and miserable because of an ongoing lack of sleep.

If you’re going to take on the relentless and unforgiving blows of life… the least you can do is get a full night of sleep so you can take it on with a full energy charge.

…Or at least do everything in your power to facilitate it.

…Starting, yes, with the cats.

Pointing out problems is about the lowest form of helpful as it comes.

Anybody can point out problems.

The world and everybody’s micro-world are each and all littered with them.

Pointing at all of the “litter” shows that you can at least see it—and maybe even you care. Heck, maybe you’re even able to spot the hard-to-find litter. The litter that’s camouflaged that only a true professional is able to find. Great. Identifying the problem is the first step towards solving the problem.

Left at that, though? It’s not exactly helpful.

A level above that might be the problem-solver. This is the person who not only identifies the problem, but takes action towards solving it. It’s the person who sees the litter and then goes and picks it up. This is helpful. Much more helpful than just pointing it out and making it somebody else’s problem.

Left at that, though? And it’s only a matter of time before the litter is back and the action needs to be repeated.

A level above that, what I might say is the peak level, is the solutionist. The solutionist is the one who identifies the problem, takes action towards not only solving the problem, but solving the cause of the problem. Solutionists fix systems. They figure out what’s leading to the litter and come up with a solution that not only addresses the current litter, but prevents future litter from accumulating.

In a world of problem pointers and problem passers… be a solutionist.

And if you can’t be a solutionist… at least be a problem-solver.

Because yes, we’re aware of the litter. And no, you pointing at it isn’t what’s needed.

One of my employees sat me down in my office yesterday and explained to me why he thinks some of our students are getting bored and what we can do about it.

It’s the… “and what we can do about it” part that impressed me.

People come to me with problems essentially my entire work shift each day.

Parents having problems with their kids, kids having problems with other kids, instructors having problems students, students having problems with the curriculum, something in the school is broken and has become a problem, associates realizing that something in our system is broken and has become a problem, and so on.

Granted, it’s a career I love and this isn’t a complaint about the problems I’ve professionally chosen to take on.

It’s more so a highlight of how valuable and refreshing it is to have somebody come to me with… solutions.

And it makes them stand out because the default seems to be, “It’s not my job to fix this…” or “I’ll deal with this later” or “I can’t wait to get home tonight to watch my show…” and it gets swept under the rug and/or forgotten about and/or pawned off on somebody else.

A rule that was told to me years ago that I try my best to carry with me for everything I do is, “Don’t come to me with a problem unless you also have a solution to go with it.”

This life is tough. Ground yourself into something stable.

Something you can push against; something you can count on to be there; something strong enough to help you bear the weight life puts on your shoulders.

Bearing a heavy load is tough enough… add in an unstable floor? A ground that constantly shifts? An energy that’s unpredictable?

And you’ll constantly be topsy turvy tipping and stumbling whatever it is you’re trying to hold.

The weight will fall and make your ground even more unstable… it will crash into other people’s grounds… it might even leave you injured and unable to bear any load until healed.

Before you bear the weight life tries to put on your shoulders… yes, ground yourself into something stable.

If work is unstable, ground yourself in your home life.

If your home life is unstable, ground yourself in your work.

If both are unstable, ground yourself in yourself. And build a sacred practice of meditation, movement, and connection into your day/week that you can count on.

But one thing is for sure: Don’t try to take on more weight if you’re already off balance. Find proper footing on a ground as reliable as cement. Take on life from there.

While at a music show last night, a distressed women crossed paths with a group of friends and I.

After calming her down, we gathered that she lost her friend group and was freaking out because it had been over an hour and there were quite literally thousands of people there… which meant poor (read: no) phone reception… constant changes and shuffles in the waves of people… and to make things worse for her, I don’t think she was even five feet tall—so she was surrounded by walls of people at every turn.

What happened next, though, was pretty incredible.

We created a space for her to calm down… where she could feel safe in the sea of strangers… where she could dance a little of the anxiety away…

And quite literally the moment after I finished saying, “Sometimes this is what happens and you have to just lean into the side quest, and just trust that it will all work out…” she looked back over my shoulder and finds her friend group.

And she started sobbing.

And we all started celebrating.

And we all had a sunshine and rainbows universe alignment moment.

…Had she continued on the distressed, anxiety-ridden path she was on, she would’ve continued in the exact opposite direction of where her friends were. Us creating that space for her got her to turn around and realign with a better path.

And as it usually does… the universe delivered a memory, a lesson, and a remarkable moment all wrapped into one.

Sometimes, as hard as it might be, we just have to learn to trust and surrender.

What happens today is a lagging indicator of everything you did yesterday and before.

If you’re feeling exhausted, right now has nothing to do with it… it has everything to do with the previous day or week’s sleep, habits, and health routines.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, right now has nothing to do with it… it has everything to do with the previous day or week’s (or month’s or year’s) productivity, initiative, and proactive problem solving (or lack thereof).

If you’re feeling unfulfilled, right now has nothing to do with it… it has everything to do with the previous day or week’s or month’s or year’s purpose alignment, relationship building, and/or inner work.

Remember when you’re feeling off, like a wilting plant, it won’t always be an immediately fixable problem. Weeks of no sun or water isn’t fixed with one exposure or pouring.

But if you can commit to consistent sun exposure and keeping the soil moist, so to speak, eventually, the lagging indicator of your not so distant right now, can be energized, accomplished, and content.

…You just need to remember to take care of your tomorrow self, today.