Category: Problem Solving

One of my employees sat me down in my office yesterday and explained to me why he thinks some of our students are getting bored and what we can do about it.

It’s the… “and what we can do about it” part that impressed me.

People come to me with problems essentially my entire work shift each day.

Parents having problems with their kids, kids having problems with other kids, instructors having problems students, students having problems with the curriculum, something in the school is broken and has become a problem, associates realizing that something in our system is broken and has become a problem, and so on.

Granted, it’s a career I love and this isn’t a complaint about the problems I’ve professionally chosen to take on.

It’s more so a highlight of how valuable and refreshing it is to have somebody come to me with… solutions.

And it makes them stand out because the default seems to be, “It’s not my job to fix this…” or “I’ll deal with this later” or “I can’t wait to get home tonight to watch my show…” and it gets swept under the rug and/or forgotten about and/or pawned off on somebody else.

A rule that was told to me years ago that I try my best to carry with me for everything I do is, “Don’t come to me with a problem unless you also have a solution to go with it.”

This life is tough. Ground yourself into something stable.

Something you can push against; something you can count on to be there; something strong enough to help you bear the weight life puts on your shoulders.

Bearing a heavy load is tough enough… add in an unstable floor? A ground that constantly shifts? An energy that’s unpredictable?

And you’ll constantly be topsy turvy tipping and stumbling whatever it is you’re trying to hold.

The weight will fall and make your ground even more unstable… it will crash into other people’s grounds… it might even leave you injured and unable to bear any load until healed.

Before you bear the weight life tries to put on your shoulders… yes, ground yourself into something stable.

If work is unstable, ground yourself in your home life.

If your home life is unstable, ground yourself in your work.

If both are unstable, ground yourself in yourself. And build a sacred practice of meditation, movement, and connection into your day/week that you can count on.

But one thing is for sure: Don’t try to take on more weight if you’re already off balance. Find proper footing on a ground as reliable as cement. Take on life from there.

While at a music show last night, a distressed women crossed paths with a group of friends and I.

After calming her down, we gathered that she lost her friend group and was freaking out because it had been over an hour and there were quite literally thousands of people there… which meant poor (read: no) phone reception… constant changes and shuffles in the waves of people… and to make things worse for her, I don’t think she was even five feet tall—so she was surrounded by walls of people at every turn.

What happened next, though, was pretty incredible.

We created a space for her to calm down… where she could feel safe in the sea of strangers… where she could dance a little of the anxiety away…

And quite literally the moment after I finished saying, “Sometimes this is what happens and you have to just lean into the side quest, and just trust that it will all work out…” she looked back over my shoulder and finds her friend group.

And she started sobbing.

And we all started celebrating.

And we all had a sunshine and rainbows universe alignment moment.

…Had she continued on the distressed, anxiety-ridden path she was on, she would’ve continued in the exact opposite direction of where her friends were. Us creating that space for her got her to turn around and realign with a better path.

And as it usually does… the universe delivered a memory, a lesson, and a remarkable moment all wrapped into one.

Sometimes, as hard as it might be, we just have to learn to trust and surrender.

What happens today is a lagging indicator of everything you did yesterday and before.

If you’re feeling exhausted, right now has nothing to do with it… it has everything to do with the previous day or week’s sleep, habits, and health routines.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, right now has nothing to do with it… it has everything to do with the previous day or week’s (or month’s or year’s) productivity, initiative, and proactive problem solving (or lack thereof).

If you’re feeling unfulfilled, right now has nothing to do with it… it has everything to do with the previous day or week’s or month’s or year’s purpose alignment, relationship building, and/or inner work.

Remember when you’re feeling off, like a wilting plant, it won’t always be an immediately fixable problem. Weeks of no sun or water isn’t fixed with one exposure or pouring.

But if you can commit to consistent sun exposure and keeping the soil moist, so to speak, eventually, the lagging indicator of your not so distant right now, can be energized, accomplished, and content.

…You just need to remember to take care of your tomorrow self, today.

…Stands for, What Would Jesus Do—and is a powerful framework for decision making that is/was practiced by millions… maybe even billions.

The idea is simple: when thrusted into a situation that makes you angry, upset, frustrated, etc., you pause for a moment and ask yourself, “What would Jesus do in this situation?” …And then you use that framework to guide your decisions forward.

It’s very helpful to use people as points of reference when we’re in need because while they might not have ever commented on how to handle each and every specific situation that comes up in your life… what they offer instead are embodied values and principles that, maybe we’re still working to embody, but can borrow from.

And it’s through this process of borrowing embodied values and principles that we embody them ourselves. It’s simply a matter of casting enough character and identity votes so as to tip the overall ballot into our default and ongoing behavior.

My challenge for you today is this: pick someone who can be this guiding light for you. Or maybe even better, do a deep visualization of who you are at your highest version and use that as your guiding light.

…Because trying to figure out specific answers to very specific problems can oftentimes only exacerbate the problem.

…But visualizing what Jesus, or Gandhi, or Mother Teresa, or Nelson Mandella, or your highest version would do—can oftentimes give you a clarity in a heartbeat that you might feel you so desperately need.