What an interesting question to contemplate: “What does this space (that I’ve designed) say about me?”
And maybe more interesting—a question I’ve been contemplating all weekend: “How can I redesign this space so that it speaks to the person I have evolved into and most want to become?”
I can’t express to you enough the importance of creating your own weather.
This becomes particularly important when you live in a chronically overcast, gray, cold, rainy place like Buffalo, NY.
If I let the weather dictate my mood, I’d be chronically miserable.
Instead, like the Good Mother herself, I gather various ingredients from what’s available in my immediate surroundings and cast a forecast over my day that’s aligned, predictable, and intentional with the mood I’m looking to nurture.
Music is a fundamental key in this practice. The vocals, instruments, and added sounds play at the exact vibration I’m looking to resonate at. And so rather than look outside at the literal weather, become miserable, and try to think myself into a joyful state… I’ll listen to music that matches what I would define as a joyful frequency and let it pull me upwards and outwards of my mind and into my body.
Mindful consumption is a strong second in the practice. Like food to the body, what gets consumed via the eyes, ears, and other senses has a direct impact on our inner weather. Watch news, gossip, and hate-based media—and so, too, will your mind become. Watch art, contribution, and love-based media—and so, too, will your inner weather become.
And digestion is an under-discussed third. Like food to the body, if you never stop eating—regardless of how healthy the food is—your body is going to feel like it needs to explode. We have a daily calorie limit for a reason—and the same should be true with the amount of minutes we spend consuming. The rest of the time? Digesting. Meditating. Relaxing. Playing. Being.
Imagine being born a prince or a princess.
And growing up with parents who wanted to make your life perfect.
Imagine what that might look like… imagine what essentially unlimited resources (being king and queen) could do… imagine what they might do to make sure you never knew a moment of suffering and had every need and desire met…
Imagine them building up a wall around your castle so that you never saw suffering or met people of different classes… imagine indulging in the best foods daily… receiving every gift you even slightly wanted… having servants cater to your every need and demand…
…Imagine what that might teach you about the world.
I’ll tell you what it’ll teach you: not much.
Not only is the above the story of Buddha… but it’s the story countless parents play in their head of what they want for their children—whom are the most precious things in the world to them.
…And protecting them, caring for them, and creating a “perfect” little world for them to live in is an instinctual part of a parent’s nature.
But the more the world skews towards “perfect”—in the sense of every desire being met and no suffering—the less it actually teaches us about the world, isn’t it?
Because life is imperfect. The world is imperfect. Humans are imperfect.
Suffering is everywhere. Needs aren’t something given—they’re earned. Desires aren’t meant to always be fulfilled.
THAT is the nature of things.
And the more you intermingle with the “imperfect” world… the more flawed humans you interact with… the more suffering you see through to the other side…
The more you’ll learn about life for real.
When I’m trying to think, it’s so much easier when I’m not being told what to think.
As I sit down to write each day, if I’m staring at a blank page… the thinking gets reflected back into my own mind and I’m able to settle and sort through my thoughts until I land on something I feel is worth sharing.
…If I’m staring at my email inbox, however, my thinking gets pulled into the subject lines, the senders, the questions that might arise over the different pieces of mail, and I’m no longer thinking internally—my eyes are gathering info that’s telling me what I should be thinking about.
The same is true if you’re trying to think, but you’re looking at a screen playing passive entertainment… or when you’re listening to lyrical music… or when you’re in a highly stimulating environment. It’s really hard to think when your senses are being bombarded with other thoughts and opinions and emotions.
This is why going for a walk in nature is so helpful for thinking. The trees don’t tell you what to think. Nor do the flowers or grasses or animals. The wind doesn’t have an opinion. And neither does the rain, snow, or sunshine.
And if that’s not an option available to you when you need to think the most, never underestimate the power of closing your eyes and sitting still. Bonus points for noise cancelling headphones. Double bonus points for noninvasive neurostimulating type music.
Try it. Do a little bit of it each day. But don’t take it for granted. It’s becoming harder than ever to find uninterrupted personal thinking space. It’s necessary. And it takes effort.
Comparing apples to other apples is a fair comparison.
But people are not like apples. Comparing people to other people isn’t fair at all.
No two people are alike and as such, shouldn’t be looked at as apples to apples.
Yet, we people do this all of the time. We compare height, weight, ethnicity, face symmetry, hair color, eye color, bodily proportions, fitness level, education level, talent level, social media level, relationship status, highlight reels, bought brand names, number of friends, quality of life, and so… much… more…
The key, when it comes to inner work, is to release this compulsive tendency to compare yourself to others in an apples to apples kind of way. And to, instead, look at yourself as a one-of-one being who was made to be a completely unique expression of nature.
Peaches can be compared to peaches.
Marigolds can be compared to marigolds.
Oak trees can be compared to oak trees.
But you…?
…You can only be compared to who you were yesterday. And nobody on this earth else.
Some people pick what’s right in front of them because it’s the best they can see.
But when you relentlessly expand your vision… not only does best expand proportionally…
But so too does the seer—the person behind the eyes—grow more and more into a version of themselves that would’ve never ever otherwise…
…Come to be.
In self-defense, the initial strike is pivotal.
If you can surprise the assailant and land a clean shot to the face (i.e. gouge the eyes) or groin (i.e. knee to the nuts) for example—every other strike that follows becomes exponentially more effective. Why? Because they’re going to be blinded or debilitated in a way the stops them from blocking or protecting.
If you telegraph the initial shot and/or don’t land for whatever reason, every shot that follows will become exponentially less effective. Why? Because the assailant will raise their guard and rapidly shift to a heightened defensive awareness.
In the same way, the way we start our tasks or days or weeks can exponentially improve or hinder everything we do that follows. Get the headspace right? And the tasks takes care of themself. Get the morning right? And the day takes care of itself. Get the meal prep right? And the week’s eating takes care of itself.
…Get it wrong? And everything that follows gets exponentially harder.
…And life is hard enough as is.