Category: Feeling Fulfilled

Modern day culture is pushing all of us—especially those swallowed deep within its massive current—towards dopamine, dopamine, dopamine with increasing intensity with each passing day.

Soak up the diagram below which illustrates these modern day currents:

The danger with surrendering to this current is that it pushes us further and further into a never ending cycle of short-term pleasure seeking where we do a dopamine releasing task, which causes the neurochemical dopamine to be released, which makes us feel good, which makes us want to repeat the stimulus, which makes us do the domaine releasing task again, and so forth until it’s repeated so much it turns into a habit and eventually—an addiction.

This addiction, like all addictions, becomes increasingly hard to satisfy which leads us further and further downstream towards increasingly intense dopamine releasing sources (e.g. doom-scrolling, gambling, nsfw content, etc). And this, of course, leads to derailed lives.

Rheotaxis is the general tendency of an organism—like a fish—to orient themselves and swim against the flow, rather than with it. And the more I look at the above diagram, the more I think they’re onto something. There are many theories on why fish do this, but the one I like to believe is that they know—be it instinctually or experientially—that upstream is where better living is found.

Maybe because it leads to the development of strength; maybe because it increases their mental acuity/awareness; maybe because it’s where the more fulfilling rewards are found…

…And maybe it’s the same for us humans and we should consider reorienting, too.

My sinuses have been clogged all week.

…Like clogged to the point where I swallow and my ears get plugged leaving the world noticeably muted and my only unplugging strategy being to plug my nose and blow into it really hard until they re-open.

…Sorcery, I tell you.

Maybe you’ve experienced it, too?

Couple that with the nose running like a faucet and you have yourself a pretty annoying set of symptoms.

I share this not to complain.

I share this because I just realized, at 6pm into the day, that both symptoms are gone.

Like, I haven’t blown my nose once today and I’ve swallowed all day without plugging my ears.

…And I didn’t notice even though I’ve been up since 7am.

A timely reminder, I’d say, that so much of what we have to be grateful for aren’t just the things we have… but the things we (finally) don’t.

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Inner work prompt: Come up with a list of ten things you’re incredibly grateful you DON’T have today.

I’m the type who likes to obsesses over time efficiency.

Once I discover a way to do something in its most efficient manner, like take the most efficient, time-effective route to work, I lock in.

And I’ll do it the same way day-in and day-out until I find a better way.

Now, because of this, and because I’ve been maximizing the efficiency of my days for two-ish decades now, my days are pretty locked in.

My morning routine is on lock… my afternoon routine is on lock… and my evening routine is on lock…

Which has me leading very “locked in type days” that can start to feel awfully monotonous.

But, generally speaking, the efficiency side of me is more stubborn than the spontaneous, just-do-whatever-the-heck side of me is persuasive.

And it’s at times like this, when I’m feeling the monotonous grind, that I have to remind myself to book something that I can look forward to.

This has been the key for me for years.

If I have something in my calendar that’s going to strip me from the daily grind and immerse me in a new world with new experiences… then spontaneity comes completely naturally to me and I have zero problem doing whatever, whenever, however.

In fact, it’s my time to NOT be time efficient and I relish in the opportunity by going all in.

Being time efficient is a beautiful thing. It’s a sign that you’re effectively managing your life’s most precious resource.

But, as is the case with many things in life, too much of a good thing can make you… dull.

And today’s message is just that: don’t be dull, dear reader.

Join me in, not just thinking gratitude, but expressing gratitude every day for the next 30 days.

The difference is that one leaves your mind about as quickly as it enters whereas the other—the expressed gratitude—makes an impression on the mind of another (that’s remembered), creates an atmosphere that’s felt, has the potential to linger (as a smile often does), and can resultantly ripple outward to touch countless other lives, too.

And the kicker is that the gratitude given to another affects the giver as much as the receiver—it’s a double positive.

There is nothing lost and everything is gained when the gift of gratitude is given away.

That said, here’s how the challenge works:

• Either share publicly (on a social site) or record privately your daily acts of gratitude.
• It must be expressed—not just thought of.
• Expressed could be shared verbally (e.g. “I just want to sincerely thank you for…”), written physically (e.g. A surprise post-it note), posted about socially (e.g. “Today, I’m grateful for ______. Join me for 30 days of expressed gratitude.”) , or even gifted tangibly (e.g. Flowers just because).
• The more specific the better. The more detailed the better. The more thoughtful the better.
• …But, “done” is the best. Don’t let “the perfect gesture” stop you from expressing at all.

And that’s it. Who’s in?! Forward this to whoever you think would join. Let’s flood our lives with positivity, warmth, and support for the next month. Lord knows we all could use it.

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I’ll record my acts here. Day 1: Today, I texted a coworker expressing my gratitude for an above and beyond effort that they did with grace. 🙂

Ten of my team members and I signed up to do a 10k, 20 obstacle course, mud race—one that none of us have officially trained for and one that has been rumored to be quite hard.

These are the types of messages that were being sent in our group chat:

• “Outfit picked, salvation army shoes, nervous but I’m committed…”
• “I’m nervous but excited to make the finish line…”
• “I’m a bit terrified and a lot excited. Whatever happens, it will be an experience!”
• “I’m mostly scared and a little excited…”

The excited/ nervous mix is an excellent indicator that you’re moving outside of your comfort zone and towards a zone of growth.

The ego is the nervous trying to pull you back towards safety—where you won’t embarrass yourself, mess up, get scared, get tired, get dirty, and so forth.

The deeper parts of yourself are the excited trying to push you towards something greater—where you get to “make the finish line,” overcome new obstacles, prove your strength, develop spirit, callous your mind, complete something harder than most others would even dare to attempt, and so forth.

The key, worth noting, is in the mix.

All nervous and no excitement and there will be no reward / reason. All excitement and no nervous and there won’t be enough depth / substance. Get the two mixed just right, though? And what follows as you step into that mix may very well imprint itself into your memory… for life.

…It’s the type of mix that makes memories that last lifetimes.