Category: Feeling Fulfilled

My sister went to Toronto last weekend for her birthday.

While there she spent most of her time exploring quaint and classy bars and restaurants.

And during her explorations, she stumbled upon a small restaurant that was semi hidden in an unbusy mall.

And something struck me as being incredibly inspirational about this restaurant as she was describing it to me.

She said the women who was running the restaurant was one of the most kind, sweet, and present women she had ever met. She wasn’t there to do a job or get tip money. She was in alignment. It was as though she had a dream and was evidently living that dream in real time.

And it brought to mind for me the person who chooses a path… and then walks that path with a full and present heart.

All too common in today’s world are people who choose a path… and then spend all of their time walking that path looking at other paths… and comparing… questioning… envying…

You’ll never feel fulfilled walking a path this way.

Which is why it’s so incredible to come across someone who is in such alignment.

You don’t need to be a CEO, multi-millionaire, silicon valley startup founder to feel fulfilled. All you need is alignment and a full, present heart. And sometimes, that looks like a small restaurant that’s semi-hidden in an unbusy mall.

…Don’t complicate it.

Seth Godin said something to me years ago that has lingered in my mind ever since.

When helping him set up for a presentation he was about to give, we got to talking about creative work and creative projects… and he said something along the lines of, “If you’re not watching TV, you’re way ahead of most.”

In the past few years of my life, I got in the habit of watching TV on weekends for a few hours on Friday, Saturday, and sometimes Sunday.

Lately, I’ve replaced just about all of my passive TV time with active music time.

And it’s incredible how much more life I feel I get from my day with that one simple switch. Even if you cut just a few hours from how much TV you watch in a month… I think you’d be surprised how worth it it feels upon reflection… especially when you find something that makes the time go by just as fast.

…Never stop searching and experimenting for that thing.

Tonight, there was a celebration for my dad’s 70th birthday.

And right before it was time for cake, I gave a short speech highlighting seven things I learned from him.

The first six were concrete lessons—things he said or did that really helped me navigate life in a better way.

The last lesson, however, was one that only just started making sense to me tonight as I was preparing the speech.

And it’s the one line he has said time and again that he wants to have engraved on his tombstone: “I was only here for the cake.”

I’ve thought about this line on and off over the years and have pretty quickly submitted to mystery—leaving the expression as an open loop that I could curiously ponder from time to time.

And then when I imagined looking around at this celebration of my dad’s 70th revolution around the sun: eating good food, sipping champagne, and having cake… it started to make sense.

Because in many ways, cake was not something that was given to my dad throughout his life—cake was something he had to work really damn hard for.

And so as we were all sharing each other’s company and enjoying a wonderful night out, I concluded my speech by encouraging everyone to… eat the damn cake.

Because life happens fast—and if we can’t enjoy the cake every now and again, what are we working so damn hard for?

HBD, Dad. And cheers to many more lessons and beautiful years :)

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P.s. You can read my complete speech here: 7 Lessons From My Dad, Read To Him At His 70th Birthday Party.

Nobody should be more in tune with your needs / desires than you.

And while a shiny new TV or a fresh pair of sneakers might be gifts at the top of your wishlist… there are needs / desires that supersede anything that gets wrapped in a box (or shoved in a bag with some tissue paper on top).

They are specific feelings / experiences that give us a sense of meaning / fulfillment and there’s six of them I want you to consider.

The first pair are certainty vs uncertainty. Too certain and our lives become mundane and vanilla. Too uncertain and we live overly anxious and chronically worried.

The next pair to consider are significance vs connection. When we feel too unique, special, important, different… we feel like outliers and struggle to connect deeply with others. When we feel too connected with others, we can lose our individuality and significance as an individual.

The final pair to consider are growth vs contribution. Focusing too much on growth is selfish—we ignore invaluable opportunities to use what we’ve developed to help others. On the other hand, focusing too much on contribution is counterproductive—we can only give back what we have or have built.

Ideally, we want to have a balance of all of the above in our lives.

The question is, which of the above needs the most work in yours?

Because once you’ve figured out that… the next step is to create the real wishlist. The one that focuses on the things you can do to improve that specific area… and includes the real gifts that’ll make the real dent in your life…

…And not just another person’s wallet.

…It’s only awkward if you make it awkward by hesitating, holding back, and only going halfway in.

…Going all-in is the sure fire, fool-proof way to making it 100% the opposite of awkward—regardless of who you are, how you sound, what you look like, or how you move.

All-in is the secret ingredient to fulfilled experiences in life.

There is no insignificant moment.

There is no moment unworthy of your attention.

There is no space during your waking hours when the moments don’t count.

But this also doesn’t mean that every moment of your life needs to make it to your life’s highlight reel.

…When every moment is a highlight—no moment is a highlight.

All that’s required for a moment to be fulfilled is a complete and full attention.

With each moment comes an infinite array of things to soak in via our senses, things to process and act on, and directions we can choose to head.

The trick to not getting overwhelmed with this is not getting too far ahead while simultaneously not thinking too far behind.

The goal is to be whelmed with the infinity of the moment—and to deliberately subtract the “over” by being sufficiently submerged in the now.

Take it all in, y’all. Take none of it for granted. And take with you as many fulfilled moments as you can from this infinitely potential-ed day.

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P.s. ICYMI, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

“Just this morning. Over the past few weeks I’ve had a sudden onset of health things; insane poison parsnip huge blister on my foot, Basal skin cell cancer successfully removed from my temple twice, emergency root canal, two crowns on my teeth, and finally this morning (and last night’s prep for) a colonoscopy. ‘You’re falling apart,’ was the comment from my younger workmate. ‘We’ve a lot to be grateful for,’ was the comment from my mother in law. Why is that an accomplishment? At 30 you start to feel aches and pains. At 40 you realize you have to fight just to not atrophy. And a 50 you keep at it and kind of just cross your fingers that you’ve sufficiently shifted the bell curve of health fortune in your favour.”

Peter A.B. Marshall

Sheesh. What a mindset shift.

From “I’m falling apart…” to “I have so much to be grateful for” in a single comment.

Because what is “falling apart,” but a couldn’t-be-more-real-statement of what it means to be alive.

Life is always moving towards chaos; towards disorder; towards ‘falling apart’—it’s the Second Law of Thermodynamics. And while this may be wildly frustrating and messy… it’s a reminder of one thing that couldn’t be more comforting and clear: that we’re alive.

…And what a wildly humbling and beautiful gift that is.