Category: Feeling Fulfilled

Tonight, the martial arts association I’m a part of hosted our annual awards banquet.

After all the food was eaten and presentations were awarded, we opened the floor up for dancing.

And throughout the night, I had a bunch of people tell me how fun I was…

…When all I tried to do was get others to have fun.

There is such a power in this realization that I think a lot of people let slip under their radar.

If you want to have fun… get others to have fun.

If you want to be respected… give others respect.

If you want to be remembered… be the one who remembers others.

This formula has an incredibly diverse range of applications…

All you have to answer for yourself is… what is it that you want?

…And then simply go give that generously to others.

A friend of mine was telling me today how his wife just recently went mega viral on IG.

After decades of doing it in her kindergarden classrooms, she decided to start documenting and sharing how she takes her kids on imaginary travel adventures each Friday during the school year.

…And these aren’t just any run-of-the-mill, close your eyes and let’s imagine some travel adventures.

This women goes the extra mile… literally.

She’ll travel the globe during her summer vacation months and document videos addressed to her classroom that she’ll play for them at that specific “trip” the following year…

She’ll transform the entire classroom into an airport and airplane so the kids can learn how to navigate an airport, what passports are for, what to do with luggage… and she even invites flight attendants to make guest appearances…

And while she’s playing the videos back from her worldly travels, she’ll have first-hand things the kids can interact with… she’ll teach them about cultural differences and appropriate ways to behave… she’ll even have them do imaginary camel rides, cliff jumps, and mud masks.

And all I could think while my buddy was telling me this was… yes.

…Just yes.

How many teachers out there are miserable because they’re too busy daydreaming about travel…? And then while they’re finally traveling, they’re miserable because they’re thinking about going back to work…? How many of us non-teachers do the same thing?!

What this women has done is found a way to bring both into beautiful alignment.

And with a little reflection… initiative… and creative problem-solving… maybe you can too?

---

P.s. This is her IG.

My sister went to Toronto last weekend for her birthday.

While there she spent most of her time exploring quaint and classy bars and restaurants.

And during her explorations, she stumbled upon a small restaurant that was semi hidden in an unbusy mall.

And something struck me as being incredibly inspirational about this restaurant as she was describing it to me.

She said the women who was running the restaurant was one of the most kind, sweet, and present women she had ever met. She wasn’t there to do a job or get tip money. She was in alignment. It was as though she had a dream and was evidently living that dream in real time.

And it brought to mind for me the person who chooses a path… and then walks that path with a full and present heart.

All too common in today’s world are people who choose a path… and then spend all of their time walking that path looking at other paths… and comparing… questioning… envying…

You’ll never feel fulfilled walking a path this way.

Which is why it’s so incredible to come across someone who is in such alignment.

You don’t need to be a CEO, multi-millionaire, silicon valley startup founder to feel fulfilled. All you need is alignment and a full, present heart. And sometimes, that looks like a small restaurant that’s semi-hidden in an unbusy mall.

…Don’t complicate it.

Seth Godin said something to me years ago that has lingered in my mind ever since.

When helping him set up for a presentation he was about to give, we got to talking about creative work and creative projects… and he said something along the lines of, “If you’re not watching TV, you’re way ahead of most.”

In the past few years of my life, I got in the habit of watching TV on weekends for a few hours on Friday, Saturday, and sometimes Sunday.

Lately, I’ve replaced just about all of my passive TV time with active music time.

And it’s incredible how much more life I feel I get from my day with that one simple switch. Even if you cut just a few hours from how much TV you watch in a month… I think you’d be surprised how worth it it feels upon reflection… especially when you find something that makes the time go by just as fast.

…Never stop searching and experimenting for that thing.

Tonight, there was a celebration for my dad’s 70th birthday.

And right before it was time for cake, I gave a short speech highlighting seven things I learned from him.

The first six were concrete lessons—things he said or did that really helped me navigate life in a better way.

The last lesson, however, was one that only just started making sense to me tonight as I was preparing the speech.

And it’s the one line he has said time and again that he wants to have engraved on his tombstone: “I was only here for the cake.”

I’ve thought about this line on and off over the years and have pretty quickly submitted to mystery—leaving the expression as an open loop that I could curiously ponder from time to time.

And then when I imagined looking around at this celebration of my dad’s 70th revolution around the sun: eating good food, sipping champagne, and having cake… it started to make sense.

Because in many ways, cake was not something that was given to my dad throughout his life—cake was something he had to work really damn hard for.

And so as we were all sharing each other’s company and enjoying a wonderful night out, I concluded my speech by encouraging everyone to… eat the damn cake.

Because life happens fast—and if we can’t enjoy the cake every now and again, what are we working so damn hard for?

HBD, Dad. And cheers to many more lessons and beautiful years :)

---

P.s. You can read my complete speech here: 7 Lessons From My Dad, Read To Him At His 70th Birthday Party.

Nobody should be more in tune with your needs / desires than you.

And while a shiny new TV or a fresh pair of sneakers might be gifts at the top of your wishlist… there are needs / desires that supersede anything that gets wrapped in a box (or shoved in a bag with some tissue paper on top).

They are specific feelings / experiences that give us a sense of meaning / fulfillment and there’s six of them I want you to consider.

The first pair are certainty vs uncertainty. Too certain and our lives become mundane and vanilla. Too uncertain and we live overly anxious and chronically worried.

The next pair to consider are significance vs connection. When we feel too unique, special, important, different… we feel like outliers and struggle to connect deeply with others. When we feel too connected with others, we can lose our individuality and significance as an individual.

The final pair to consider are growth vs contribution. Focusing too much on growth is selfish—we ignore invaluable opportunities to use what we’ve developed to help others. On the other hand, focusing too much on contribution is counterproductive—we can only give back what we have or have built.

Ideally, we want to have a balance of all of the above in our lives.

The question is, which of the above needs the most work in yours?

Because once you’ve figured out that… the next step is to create the real wishlist. The one that focuses on the things you can do to improve that specific area… and includes the real gifts that’ll make the real dent in your life…

…And not just another person’s wallet.