Category: Feeling Fulfilled

The goal is to build something that doesn’t need escaping from.

…Because escaping only lasts so long before your innate desire to build something arises again.

And not because we humans love to work—because we don’t.

But because we human crave fulfillment—and what’s worse than work is feeling like you’re living an empty type of existence.

So, back to work we go… because fulfillment is something building provides. Here’s how:

Building is growth—what else is building, but combining a bunch of lesser parts into some type of a greater whole?

Building is contribution—the value that’s added from this lesser parts combination becomes a creation that at the very least, serves you, which helps you to then serve others.

Building is connection/love—connecting parts, connecting minds, connecting resources, connecting ideas, connecting hearts…

Building is significance—whether it’s solely yours to build or you’re a part of a team that’s building somebody else’s dream… you get to leave your fingerprints on something that otherwise wouldn’t exist.

Building is certainty—it allows you to plan, dream, draw, shape, and mold something that starts out abstract and slowly becomes a tangible part of reality.

Building is uncertainty—and then, of course, things never go perfectly according to plan, so you get to adjust, pivot, problem-solve, fire fight, and learn by doing in an unpredictable way.

The real question you need to be grappling with isn’t—how can I escape from this work.

The real question you need to be grappling with is—how can I better incorporate each of these above elements into the work I’m choosing to do?

I stumbled across this image today:

And this is one of those quotes that has been stripped down too far and needs more context.

The big missing component in this quote is the duration of time spent feeling the heaven and the hell.

Because here’s the thing: A little time spent exercising might feel like “hell,” but can leave you in a heavenly state for a lot of time thereafter. A little time spent in gluttony might feel like “heaven,” but can leave you in a hell-like state for a lot of time thereafter.

But, that’s just the problem I have with this quote if you adopt this concept at all.

Because here’s my other thing: The road to heaven should feel heavenly and the road to hell will feel hell-like.

Who says exercise needs to feel hell-like? Who says enjoying a meal or dessert will lead you down a road towards hell?

Sure, Crossfit feels like hell to me—I’ll admit that. But basketball? Martial Arts? I very much look forward to these means of exercise. They’re heavenly for me.

And there should be no hell-like guilt felt for enjoying a nice meal or dessert. Everything in moderation.

…My final thing is this: Doing good feels good and doing bad feels bad. When we abide by the guidance of our inner compass and listen to our deepest desires for growth and contribution… that’s the heavenly road that leads towards heaven. And when we disregard this guidance… or maybe don’t take the time to understand it… or allow modern day devices to brainwash and distract us… that’s the hell-like road that leads toward hell.

One of my all star employees is getting back surgery this coming Monday.

He’s scheduled to be out for 3 months minimum.

Then, he needs to get both hips replaced.

…Scheduling him out for another 6 months after that.

It’s one of those bitter sweet moments where we’re sad he’s going to be out for so long because of how much of a light and anchor he is—but we’re also so glad he’s getting the work done he needs to get out of the chronic pain he has been in.

It’s one of those reminders to truly appreciate what you have before it’s gone.

…And it’s a reminder I’d like to pass off to you to reflect on today.

Who is the “light” of your day? What would life be like if they were gone?

Who is an “anchor”—a source of stability and consistency—in your life? How would your day feel without that anchor there?

What items, systems, modern inventions do you rely on heavily that make your days better/easier/more enjoyable? Imagine what your life would be like without them.

We visualize life without these people and things, not to be morbid or to make us sad, but so that we can revitalize the appreciation we have for them while they’re still here… So that we can more truly express these feelings towards them and fully enjoy all that they do for us without taking it/them for granted.

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P.s. ICYMI you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

The snow is melting. Birds are chirping. The buds on trees are showing. People are coming out of hibernation. Our seasonal energy boost is returning and with it, our desire to freshen up and bring back to life our living environments is reawakening as well.

As you look around at the clutter, the extraneous purchase items, the piles of things created during the hibernation months… you might feel resistance and attachment.

Resistance because of how much… resistance because of where to start… resistance because of not knowing what to do with it all…

Attachment because of money spent… attachment because of time/energy/and effort invested… attachment because of not knowing when you might need/use it again…

To which I offer two simple formulas for you to consider that might help: (1) Trust behavior > Emotion and (2) Use + Emotion to combat – Emotion.

In regards to the first: Trust behavior over emotion… if a clothing item is at the bottom of your pile or in the back of your closet and you haven’t worn it in MONTHS… then trust that behavior more than any feelings you might have of it being “your favorite” or “still cute” etc. If you haven’t missed it in months… you probably won’t miss it.

In regards to the second: Use “positive” emotions to combat “negative” emotions… if you’re being held up by an irrational attachment to an item and you don’t want to just throw it away… try donating it to a homeless shelter or gifting it to a friend… the positive emotion of giving it to someone who could really use and benefit from it is like water to the fire of our attachment.

Happy spring cleaning :)

Tonight, the martial arts association I’m a part of hosted our annual awards banquet.

After all the food was eaten and presentations were awarded, we opened the floor up for dancing.

And throughout the night, I had a bunch of people tell me how fun I was…

…When all I tried to do was get others to have fun.

There is such a power in this realization that I think a lot of people let slip under their radar.

If you want to have fun… get others to have fun.

If you want to be respected… give others respect.

If you want to be remembered… be the one who remembers others.

This formula has an incredibly diverse range of applications…

All you have to answer for yourself is… what is it that you want?

…And then simply go give that generously to others.

A friend of mine was telling me today how his wife just recently went mega viral on IG.

After decades of doing it in her kindergarden classrooms, she decided to start documenting and sharing how she takes her kids on imaginary travel adventures each Friday during the school year.

…And these aren’t just any run-of-the-mill, close your eyes and let’s imagine some travel adventures.

This women goes the extra mile… literally.

She’ll travel the globe during her summer vacation months and document videos addressed to her classroom that she’ll play for them at that specific “trip” the following year…

She’ll transform the entire classroom into an airport and airplane so the kids can learn how to navigate an airport, what passports are for, what to do with luggage… and she even invites flight attendants to make guest appearances…

And while she’s playing the videos back from her worldly travels, she’ll have first-hand things the kids can interact with… she’ll teach them about cultural differences and appropriate ways to behave… she’ll even have them do imaginary camel rides, cliff jumps, and mud masks.

And all I could think while my buddy was telling me this was… yes.

…Just yes.

How many teachers out there are miserable because they’re too busy daydreaming about travel…? And then while they’re finally traveling, they’re miserable because they’re thinking about going back to work…? How many of us non-teachers do the same thing?!

What this women has done is found a way to bring both into beautiful alignment.

And with a little reflection… initiative… and creative problem-solving… maybe you can too?

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P.s. This is her IG.