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Category: Feeling Fulfilled

Ćejf

Pronounced /chey-if/: not just a Bosnian word but a way of life. It’s a slow and silent enjoyment of something or someone; it’s a deep satisfaction or contentment; it’s what I wrote yesterday about coffee culture.

And it’s not just coffee that we might be doing wrong… maybe it’s food too? I did not see a single drive thru restaurant my entire time here in Bosnia. Not one. Because here, drinking coffee and/or eating “to-go” is almost blasphemous.

Coffee/food is something meant to be consumed slowly… something to be shared generously… something that’s supposed to elicit a deep contentment in-and-of the act itself.

The idea with ćejf is the same idea that many of us daydream about as we kill ourselves working 9-5 jobs. We imagine ourselves sitting on a beach, by the turquoise water, sipping on a margarita—experiencing ćejf.

Or even more simply, getting home after a long day, kicking off our shoes, loosening up our tight clothes, and finally sitting in our most comfortable chairs next to loved ones—to experience ćejf.

The problem is that too many of us are far too busy to experience ćejf.

…We wake up and we’re already late for work. We rush to work, but only want to be back home. Exhausted, we pick escapes and quick dopamine hits via screens and ignore everything and everyone around us in reality throughout.

Ćejf is not something that can be rushed.

…Just like anything of quality can’t be rushed.

And if you’re the type who is always rushing… it might be worth thinking about whether there’s enough space and time in your day/life for ćejf to slowly… silently… gracefully… seep its way in.

Pockets Of Heaven

I’m in Bosnia on vacation.

It’s a beautiful country with gorgeous scenery, friendly people, and a culturally relaxed vibe—especially in comparison to my New York, USA, hometown.

In fact, one of the first distinct differences I noticed was how easy it was to just sit down and not do anything… for hours.

It has happened several times already (and it has only been two days) where I’ve just sat on a porch, sat at a café, sat by the water… and did nothing for hours on end.

When you can find little pockets of complete presence and contentment like that, it can feel like pockets of heaven.

But one of the reasons I think I’ve been able to appreciate it as much as I have is because of the full time commitment I’ve devoted to my work.

I’m sure it’s possible to have a lifestyle complete with presence and contentment, maybe that’s even what enlightenment is… but I don’t think it’s plausible to expect to have pockets of one without the other and pockets of the other without the one.

In other words: wherever you are, be there.

Don’t wish for a work-free life, but don’t live a work-only life either. Appreciate work in full and appreciate (and work hard to create) heaven-like moments in full.

Pockets of work are what make pockets of heaven—heavenly.

…Without it, they just become an expected norm.

Life “Problems”

Nothing will give life “problems” perspective like hearing a good friend with Stage 4 cancer—eyes swollen with tears—say, “I am just so thankful for each day…”

I hope this is never something you have to hear.

But, if you imagine you did, like I did, you might leave this short reading with a life perspective that’s costing somebody else the threat of their life to gain.

…And all you need to do is shut up the noise… and really hear.

Sitting First Class Daily

People will pay thousands and thousands of dollars for a comfortable seat in an airplane. And, generally speaking, will cherish every moment of it when they think about what they might’ve had to sit in in comparison.

What if you could channel that same appreciation when you sit in a comfortable seat in your house or at work? Generally speaking, the seats you sit in daily are probably more comfortable than even the nicest ones on some airlines…

Appreciation is an attitude. It’s a mindset. It’s a perspective. And you don’t have to pay thousands and thousands of dollars to obtain it. Generally speaking, all you need to do is… change your mind.

My Toilet Is Broken

Speaking of gratitude, my toilet is broken.

It won’t stop running and YouTube wasn’t helping, so I’m manually opening and closing the stop valve after each use—which is now leaking when open—and my plumber won’t be here until Friday.

It’s incredible how much we can get used to modern miracles and how removed they can get from our consciousness day-in and day-out.

Like, I can’t tell you the last time I stopped and felt gratitude for having a working toilet.

Imagine how different the day might be if we were able to notice and actually appreciate even 10% of the modern miracles we’ve unknowingly been taking for granted?

…Imagine how different the day might be if that percent jumped to 20? Or 30?

Imagine if you replaced 10-30% of your anxious or worrisome thoughts with gratitude and presence instead…

Might be worth trying to do throughout this very day.

Don’t Take These Two Things For Granted…

I experienced a powerful moment of gratitude today after having spoken to two parents in the martial arts school I teach at.

One of them was telling me that after finally getting his medications correct, he was able to take a deep breath for the first time in about a month and a half.

…A month and a half.

And another one, who was sitting next to him, was telling me about her foot surgery and how her plans of halving the estimated recovery time, was actually looking more like it was going to be double what was estimated… and that, after getting her other foot done, she wouldn’t be able to walk normally again until around summer next year.

…Summer next year.

We’re talking about breathing and walking here.

Two things I know I take for granted more than I’d like to admit.

But, at least in that moment and maybe this one right now, I didn’t.

I walked a little more mindfully and took a deliberate and fulfilling couple of deep breaths.

…Something maybe you can try and do throughout your day today, too.

Brisk Walk Black Belt

Today, the Martial arts school I teach at hosted a black belt and higher degree test.

At the end of the test, one of the spectators said, “that wasn’t as hard as I remember them being… “

And what I said to them in response was, “they’re only ever as hard as the candidate makes them…. “

Martial arts tests are very much like sprints… If you engage with the test at a pace that’s equivalent to a brisk walk or light jog… of course it’s not gonna be as hard as it could be…

But, if you engage with the test at a pace that’s equivalent of a sprint and you put your whole life force into each and every move… How could it not be one of the hardest things you’ve had to do?

I’ll tell you one thing… The people who put their whole life force into the belt test put on a very different black belt/higher degree than those who give their brisk walk effort.

…And the same is true with how we engage with life.