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Category: Feeling Fulfilled

Gratitude As Fuel

After sharing some thoughts about having an attitude of gratitude at the end of a martial arts class I was teaching, a student came up to me and asked, “How do we balance being grateful for what we have with being goal-oriented, driven, and ambitious?”

My answer is by using gratitude as fuel.

When we start from a place of gratitude, we fill ourselves up with a positive type energy. That energy, by and by, puts us in a better state. And when we’re in a better state, we perform better. And the byproduct, of course, are better results.

When we start from a place of entitlement, however, we fill ourselves up with a negative type energy. We feel discontent—like we don’t have enough and, by and by, aren’t enough as people… maybe even feel envy, jealousy, and anger at the people who have what we don’t. This puts us in a worse state, which leads us to perform worse (or in a dirty way), and the byproduct is hamster wheel living—always running in circles getting one thing, moving our desire to something else until we get that thing, and repeating forever onward.

See—gratitude allows us to reconnect with the present; scarcity keeps us focused elsewhere—rarely in the present.

Gratitude keeps us focused on the means. Scarcity keeps us obsessing over ends.

Gratitude fills us up—with energy. Entitlement fills us up—with toxicity.

Don’t confuse gratitude for weakness or with an unambitious-ness. Gratitude is a rocket fuel that’ll launch us further forward than the opposite ever will.

“…But Look At All You Remembered!”

At my grandmother’s 90th birthday party this past weekend, a family member made a comment to her that she was sorry she forgot the lighter.

…And my grandmother looked around the room—at the 23+ family members, 5 of whom were under the age of 10, 7 of whom were printed onto poster board and glued to a stick (because they weren’t able to make it from out of town), the array of eaten-clean plates and sipped-dry glasses, the custom decorated cupcakes, the private room in the favorite restaurant with the incredible waitress—and said, “but look at all that you remembered…!”

What Makes A Path *Not* Beautiful

There were a few nights at Burning Man when my friends and I spent more time chasing DJs than actually enjoying DJ sets.

…And when I say chasing DJs, I mean actually chasing DJs… on bikes… in the dessert-like environment… where DJs often play on moving art-cars… and park arbitrarily all over the event.

And I’m not just talking one or two DJs… there’s a plethora of world-renowned DJs playing multiple sets… in any given direction… at all times throughout the day… in this other-worldly environment that’s packed with shiny, neon lights wherever you look… and sounds and people and art, too… all calling for your attention and steer of your bike.

…It’s quite an impressive feat to ever find anything you aimed to attend. It’s much more common to set out for that thing and end up somewhere else completely because… squirrel.

Anyway, I digress.

The secret to maximizing your time at Burning Man is the secret to maximizing your time in everyday life—because the one isn’t that much different from the other in the sense that there’s always an endless array of things we can do…

And the secret is this: When given an abundance of choices…  choose one thing fully.

If you decide to commit to a specific DJ set: commit fully.

If you decide to side-quest and have a “squirrel” moment: commit fully.

If you decide to skip it all and bring the party to you: commit fully.

And if you decide to not do anything at all: commit fully.

Each path is beautiful in its own right. What makes it not so is our desire for it to have been something else.

Special Is Defined By You

“My dear Matt ~ I was just watching the video of us celebrating Drew. Thank you from my heart for instigating that. A few people told me that was the best moment of their Burn. It was beautiful. It was magical. It was profound. Thank you thank you thank you. Be well. And I love your move at the end of the clip. I am so grateful. My friend had the time of his new life.”

Here’s what I did: knowing it was one of our campmate’s last burns (for declining health reasons), I saw him walking home after a night out, and I instigated a dance celebration in his honor.

…Although I can’t take full credit because another campmate was playing the most phenomenal music set and I had several other campmates who were dancing their hearts out with me.

All I did was yell, “DREWWWWWW” a bunch of times really loudly… dance wildly around him… leaned into the moment that I felt was uniquely for him and got the rest of the campmates to dance on board.

It was an incredible night featuring some of my favorite moments from the burn. There wasn’t a lot of us, maybe 12 people celebrating this man’s legacy as a part of our camp, but it felt like there were 1,200.

…What’s interesting is that there were shows happening that night that probably had crowds of at least 1,200. But, what we shared right at our camp that night, with Drew being the central focus, was special. And not because it featured some major headliner at some incredible art car at some magical dawn/dusk time of day… but because we made it so.

Setting Your Uncompromised Soul Free

While at Burning Man, a campmate made a comment that resonated deeply with me. She said, “I’m very selfish when it comes to Burning Man. I’m happy to introduce, give people the 101, and even travel with friends to and from the burn. But, while there? I need to be completely free. This isn’t just building, gifting, and dancing—there’s a spiritual component for me. And like any spiritual journey in life—I need to follow my uncompromised soul.”

This goes back to one of the points I made in yesterday’s post: Do more alone… together requires compromise and while there’s nothing wrong with that, there IS something wrong with never following your uncompromised soul.

My first year at Burning Man, I went completely alone and knew nobody there. Since then, my soul has found and connected with so much of what it needed. From workshops and classes to art and expression, from trial and tribulation to triumph and celebration, from one-off conversations to deep and long lasting connections… there are spiritual happenings that can only happen when your soul is given that uncompromised freedom.

Again, this isn’t to say there’s anything wrong with compromise. Sharing time and experiences with others also feeds the soul in equally nourishing ways. It’s simply a reminder to balance shared, compromised experiences with solo, uncompromised ones—not just at Burning Man, but in whatever ways your soul needs in everyday life.

The Secret To A Rich And Filling Life

The secret, I think, to a rich and filling life… are rich and filling moments.

…Moments that are made rich and full with an unwavering devotion to the present, what’s real, and what’s right in front of our face.

The idea is as simple, yet as hard as it gets:

When sitting… just sit… be with yourself… resist the urge to chronically be doing something.

When walking… just walk… be immersed in all of the worldly elements.

When talking… just talk… be completely and totally consumed with the words.

When eating… just eat… be mindful of the experience as a whole and savor each bite.

When dancing… just dance… surrender to the pull of your soul… without fear and as un-self-consciously as you’re able.

When working… just work… do the damn thing with as much excellence as you can manage.

…And as much as you can: minimize and subtract all that distracts you.

It’s far too easy to never be where you are.

…Which, I’d say, is the antithesis of the rich and filling life.

Random Theory About Live Music

Random question: If I asked you to place your hand where you think your soul hangs out, where would you place it?

…I don’t know about you, but my hand tends to go somewhere between my heart and my stomach—near the very center of my being.

If this wasn’t you, then go ahead and just disregard the above two sentences.

Okay, now random theory about live music: one of the reasons we love it so much is because we can align the very center of our being with the type of music that we innately and have always indescribably loved… and we can feel it vibrate into that sacred center—what some might describe as our soul.

Which is also why I think we love to sing our favorite songs—because the vibrations from our voice box resonate into that same place.

…And whatever vibration our soul has always been craving, is finally shaking its way inside.

…And for that brief span of time—everything in our world feels aligned, in rhythm, and alright.


P.s. This extra post is being sent to make-up for the one missed on Friday, August 8th, 2025.