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Category: Being Present

The Antidote To Busy

Today felt like a hectic, busy day.

Like whenever I finished one thing, five other things immediately came to mind that I had to do. And the more time I spent thinking about those five other things, the more stressed I felt.

One thing that helped, however, was deliberately reconnecting to the present moment.

There were a few instances throughout my day, for example, when I caught myself stressing myself out and I interrupted the pattern by deliberately focusing on a present moment task.

In one instance, I caught myself thinking about all of the things I had to catch up with at work during my morning workout and I reframed my focus towards getting the best pump I could with each strengthening rep instead.

In another instance, I caught myself thinking about all of the home chores I had to catch up on during my afternoon break and I reframed my focus towards the beautiful day we were having and stepped outside, took a seat on my porch, and meditated quietly for five minutes instead.

And in another instance, I caught myself thinking about all of my upcoming travel plans that needed to be confirmed as I was unwinding from work and I reframed my focus towards each step of my evening dog walk… and then each dish as the soap and hot water ran through my fingers… and then each word as I sat at my desk and typed this short message for you.

And it was in thinking about these moments today that I realized… the antidote to busy (that doesn’t want to change)… is presence.

Lower Your Weight

Doing martial arts training today, I was reminded of how important it is to lower your weight—to enroot yourself into the ground.

To lower your weight is to simultaneously lower your attention—out from somewhere in the clouds and back into the weight of the current moment.

It’s a reminder to stand your ground; to solidify your foundation; to reclaim your power.

And the beauty of martial arts training is that there are immediate physical/ tangible/ sensory feedback mechanisms in place that display the weight of your attention at various moments of the training.

If your mind floats elsewhere during a drill, for example, you might get knocked off balance. Or if you fall asleep on a sparring partner and start daydreaming, you might take a shot. Or if you try and multi-task a martial drill with a past or future concern, you might trip over your own movements.

Lower your weight is a reminder to get out of your head. To come back down to earth. To dig your roots deeper into reality and suck the life from the soil of the here and now.

…And today, I want you to try and do just that. You might not have a martial feedback mechanism like I had today—but that just means you won’t get punched or hit if you forget.

…Which might be a more ideal situation for you anyways.

…Although, less on the line if you forget.

Nonetheless, make that your focus today and periodically remind yourself like you just took a shot.

…And keep it at the forefront to lower your weight.

Chasing Sunsets

I can vividly remember times when I would—after sensing a good sunset coming on—hop in my car and drive to the best local viewpoints to try and see it from the most perfect spots.

Once in a while, I nailed it.

Oftentimes, I ended up doing way more chasing than I ever did seeing.

And it wasn’t uncommon for me to miss the sunset altogether as I hastily hunted for better and better spots.

Now, when I sense a good sunset coming on, I try to find the nearest viewpoint, catch a seat, and maximize the viewing time.

Because ultimately, I think what sunsets demand—the reason we’re drawn to them so much—is our presence. They pull us away from our screens (sometimes), out from our drama, and allow us to fixate our complete attention on something awe inspiring.

…And by foolishly chasing after “perfect” spots to be present… we miss so much of the presence—the gift the sunset was supposed to provide in the first place—that was available to us the entire time.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

Family Traditions

For the past several years, my grandma, mom, and I would drive 6ish hours to my aunt’s house for Easter weekend.

It was a nice little family tradition that gave us long car rides to chat the deeper than usual chat and catch up with my aunt and her family who we only ever saw that weekend-ish.

We would watch movies, get live piano and violin concerts in her living room, play board games, tour the local book shops, airplay photo albums on their giant TV recapping the highlight moments of our year, take long walks, explore local parks, and of course eat fantastic meals.

Earlier this year, my aunt and her family decided to move across the country and so our little family tradition unfortunately ended.

This is a reminder that at some point, your family tradition(s) as you know it/them—will end. And to go into family tradition weekends with as much presence and warmth as you can.

This isn’t to say that they can’t/won’t change for the better… it’s merely to say don’t take them for granted. Change is always, inevitably, on the horizon.

Let Each Blink Remind You

One of my staff members won sparring grand champion at a regional martial arts tournament this weekend.

…And another one of my staff members got into a car accident and totaled his car (he’s okay fortunately).

I read a status saying, “I am whole. I am a woman I am proud of. I stay true to myself. I am in love with life again, excited for the future and I find so much beauty in just the simple day to day or the smallest gestures. I live a way higher quality of life and offer love with no expectations because I know how it feels to hurt.”

And another one saying, “I’m making dumb, embarrassing mistakes, I can’t think or function and I’m in a constant state of panic and anxiety yet somehow could stay in bed the rest of my life. I don’t need or want pity or sorry’s, just please bear with me. And don’t ask me if I’m ok, because I’m not.”

A friend of mine just had a baby this weekend and said, “We are so in love and our family is complete.”

…And another friend who was pregnant just recently found out she has terminal cancer, had to terminate the pregnancy, and was given 10 months – 10 years to live.

This is your updated reminder that life is short.

That when life is good—cherish it with all of your being. Because things can go bad in the blink of an eye. And it would be so unfortunate to open your eyes from that blink, only to look back and see how much good you didn’t really cherish. Let each blink remind you.

Why I Don’t Have A Case On My Phone (For Now)

I’ve been using my phone without a case for the past few days.

While this might sound dumb to some, and while this isn’t something I’d exactly recommend doing, the reason is two fold:

1. It reminds me to be careful. Modern day phones are ex-pen-sive. And even just one drop could result in an expensive repair. Which I’m hyper aware of. Which I’ve realized is a hack opportunity into my own mind—because I can’t help but slow down when I grab my phone and am increasingly sensitive to where I put it when I’m not using it. Think surgeon picking up and putting down tools at the operating table. That’s me with my phone these past few days.

2. Being “full-of-care” is being simultaneously full of presence. I don’t think you can separate the one from the other. And presence is the antidote to the modern day drug that is distraction. Which, of course, is the drug that comes pouring out through our screens in unrelenting quantities. So by triggering “presence” whenever I reach for my phone, it’s almost as if I’m taking a shot of the antidote before exposing myself to the coinciding drug.

Like I said, this probably sounds dumb to some of you. And if you’re the clumsy type, I certainly wouldn’t recommend doing this.

But, maybe there’s another way you can encase your phone with a sort of “presence antidote” that can give you a similar sort of shot to help you combat the unrelenting distractions that are bound to eat up every bit of your time they can manage as soon as you unlock that screen.

Something worth carefully thinking about at least…

Doing Business Minus Business

Dear busy person,

For the love of whatever you believe in, please drop your modern day desire to make pooping productive. You don’t need to read emails. You don’t need to engage with a certain number of social posts. You don’t need to write up replies, brainstorm ideas, or review your schedules/ to-do lists. You don’t need to do anything—except your business. And you know what business I mean… I want you to do your business minus any trace or thought of work related business. If there’s any time in your day that you should keep sacred and to yourself… that should be right at the top. The business of every day life is already hectic, busy, and nonstop enough as is—no need to exacerbate it. Give yourself pockets of grace. Give yourself time to unwind. Give yourself some space to pause. The rest of your day will be better because of it.

~ Your Inner Work Person

P.s. You can read my other letters to you, here.