Category: Being Present

An associate was telling me how her partner is on vacation this week and she’s stuck caring for the kids, doing the chores, and essentially managing several complex and multi-faceted lives.

What was interesting to me was that, not too long ago, we were on a work trip with the opportunity to turn part of it into a vacation—and she opted to go home early… to get back to her kids and all of the complex and multi-faceted.

And so many times in life, isn’t this the case?

We simply continue to want what we currently don’t have…

When we’re home we want to be on vacation and when we’re on vacation we want to be home.

When we’re single we want to be in a relationship and when we’re in a relationship we want to be single.

When we’re building something we want to be done and when we’re done we want to be building something.

That is… until we can learn to appreciate fully where we are. The place we only dread because we’re not seeing through the right perspective. The very place that countless others would kill to be in. The place that we would probably kill to be back in if life took a drastic turn for the worse.

…Let’s be where we are today. Here. In all of today’s complex and multi-faceted glory.

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P.s. This book helped me appreciate the power of being present more than any other I’ve read so far. Maybe it’ll help you too?

Yesterday, one of the guys I play basketball with saw a lane, attacked it and drove towards the basket with big physicality, took a lot of contact while going for a layup, must’ve lost himself in the air, and came crashing down on his confused and discombobulated leg with the full force of his weight…

A few thuds, screeches, and blood-curdling screams later… he was laid out on the floor, in fetal position, holding onto his knee like keeping his leg attached depended on it…

We called 911. Got him as comfortable as we could. And let the professionals do what they were trained to do from there.

It wasn’t long after that I found myself sitting on the gym bench… sweat dripping from my forehead… staring at my knees.

“Man, I don’t express this enough to y’all, but thank you. Thank you for an up-until-this-point lifetime of use, abuse, and challenge with no major injury. The games I’ve played, the movements I’ve thrown, the sights I’ve seen, the independence I’ve been shown… is largely because of y’all. And I promise to keep doing my best to take care.”

Did my knees hear me?

…Obviously not.

But I heard me.

And that’s the point of gratitude.

Do you realize that, in an incalculable number of ways, you’re living a life of already answered prayers?

Think about it.

How many times were you terribly sick and prayed for health?

How many times have you feared for your life and saw things through to the other side?

How many times have you prayed for good news and gotten it?

How many times was a deal made where if the universe/higher power delivered “A,” you would offer back, “B”—and the universe delivered?

How many times have you prayed for a person? To heal? To find their way? To like you? And it came true?

…And how many times have we immediately moved on with our lives after an answered prayer… filling the universe only with multiplied additional prayers rather than even an ounce of gratitude?

Maybe one of the reasons we feel like life is unfair, is because for every one answered prayer, we ask for ten additional prayers to be answered… and we quickly forget about all that has already been fulfilled.

…But if you flipped that formula, and responded with 10 times the gratitude for every one answered prayer, maybe life being unfair wouldn’t be so bad after all.

The secret to not having FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) is to bring all of your presence into the moment you’re already in.

Lean into courage. Find the curiosity. Fill yourself up with everything already around you. Create and emit the energy you find yourself looking elsewhere for. Get others to jump on board. Become the FOMO others think about—not to make them feel bad, but because that thought will guide you forward towards the time you most want to have. You’re only missing out if your mind is elsewhere of your body. Keep the two together and suddenly, your spirit will start to shine unconditionally bright.

There are moments, oh so brief and fleeting, during everyday happenings, that connect us to the infinite.

It’s right at peak extension of our morning stretch and just as we scratch the precise location of a butt itch.

It’s the moment when the temperature of our shower hits just the right degree and just as we exhale calmly from feeling most refreshed.

It’s that first sip of coffee, brewed exactly to our liking, and the moment our nose catches its aroma as we close our eyes and carefully breathe it in.

It’s our hands cupping warm ceramic in frigid air or the feel of cool water moving mouth to throat to stomach on a sweltering hot day.

It’s that moment during a hug when we’re pulled in tighter or the moment during a kiss when you both decide to lean back in.

Rather than rush through these moments in an effort to get more quickly to the next… What if we lingered there instead?

What if instead of taking these moments for granted because they’re less than .01% of our day… we made them something we appreciated with as close to 100% of our attention while we’re there?

Maybe our days wouldn’t feel like such a blur. Maybe the moments wouldn’t all vanish behind the off putting comment, criticism, or some kind of fear.

Maybe what’s happening in the .01% is really the only thing that ever is happening?

…Maybe it’s just about us being there.