I write 1-minute insights daily. Below are my latest. Like? Enter your email to get updates.
Helping busy people do inner work.
I write 1-minute insights daily. Below are my latest. Like? Enter your email to get updates.
It’s easier than ever to feel envy in our hyper-comparison, media based world.
And it’s precisely this unchecked feeling of intensely wanting what others have to the point of it harboring resentment and anger that leads to so much of our modern day suffering.
Furthermore, because of the nature of algorithms, access to people’s lives, and our instinctual desire to ceaselessly compare—we get trapped in these downward spiraling feedback loops that go from seeing, to wanting, to envying, to resenting, and back to seeing in no time at all—perpetuating the cycle over and over again—possibly hundreds of times in a day…!
It’s no wonder people’s mental health is in such peril. For what is anger, resentment, and even hate, but a poison to our system? And what are we doing but creating it inside of ourselves via what we’re choosing to consume?
…If we want to change this, here are two thoughts:
1) Stop drinking poison. If it’s creating intense feelings of envy… work to remove that influence from your experience. Unfollow, mute, and block work great online. It can be a little tricker in real life, but it’s certainly possible with some courage and creative problem solving.
2) Learn to better process the poison. Like what the liver does with alcohol, develop the ability to “metabolize” envy as it arises. This might include remembering: (1) Other people’s lives are theirs and 100% out of your control and (2) You have the ability to grow and improve.
Because once you can learn to metabolize envy into rocket fuel for growth…
…You tell me how that won’t turn that downward spiring feedback loop right on its head.
I finished yesterday’s post thinking it still needed more editing… that it wasn’t done… that I could’ve done better.
But, the deadline hit and I ran out of energy.
So I published it anyway.
…Which, by the way, is like the sitcom of my life as it pertains to this blog.
As a perfectionist… it never feels done… I always feel like it could be better… I’ve been doing this daily for nearly 5 years and I *still* hesitate as my mouse hovers over that “Publish” button.
…But you know what gets me to publish anyway—even when I have energy and I’m not worried about the deadline…?
Two things:
1) The enemy of done is perfect; “Good enough” is done’s best friend. And done is what this daily blog requires… for no reason other than it’s what I’ve promised to myself and, by consequence, what I’ve promised to those who have subscribed to this journey.
2) Typos aren’t the end of me… As Catherine Toops pointed out once on X, “…your typos are just a trail of inspiration for writers who want to believe they can do what you’ve done.”
And it’s those two thoughts that give the perfectionist side of me the comfort it needs to be vulnerable… to publish something that’s possibly flawed… that exposes me in some way… that opens me up to critique and possible ridicule.
…But also all of the other incredible things that come with publishing daily for nearly five years that absolutely wouldn’t be possible with perfectionism as a pre-requisite.
P.s. ICYMI, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week here.
Your creative yearnings… those artistic inclinations… are whispers from a higher power… they’re nudges, winks, hints… from somewhere deep… not just inside you… but from within a collective unconscious… an ocean of understanding that spans a millennia and includes countless living beings and experiences… that something inside you, in some mysterious way, miraculously taps into… maybe at just a straws capacity if it were used to drink from the ocean… but a sip of the ocean none-the-less… one that gives you a taste… not of salt and seaweed… but of how you might better live… one that’s filled with meaning and connection… growth and contribution… gifts to be given and received…
See… creative yearnings… artistic inclinations… in all of their manifested forms… are expressions of our consciousness at its highest level… they become statements of what makes us different… what makes us unique… what makes us authentically… us… they become cornerstones of meaning in our life that we talk about, identify with, and share proudly with others… they become some of the most fundamental components of our legacy… the things that get featured at our funeral… the puzzle pieces that others offer to help formulate a picture of how we lived… the things that get left behind and continue to create ripples into the ocean of this collective experience… ripples that one day might make their way into the life of another being… that just might manifest as a creative yearning… an artistic inclination… a whisper… that just might give clues into the possibility of living a better life themself…
…Which is all to say: listen.
Never ignore whispers from a higher power.
Go ahead and talk your talk.
Say what you’re gonna say.
String together some dressed up words and print it on your fancy parchment paper.
…It might catch you a look, return you a call, or get you a foot in the door.
But, what it will not do is walk those feet of yours forward… do the following through on the things you promised you’d do… be what parchment paper is supposed to be to regular paper in real life.
The proof is in the pudding, homie.
So enough with the announcements… spare me the overzealous promises… forget the résumés…
And show me something tangible. Give me a track record. Let’s take a look back and show me how your dots actually connect.
…Words? Words have never been easier. A few clicks and AI can have that done for you in no time.
…Which also means that action? Well, now… it means that actions have never been more valuable.
It’s a pretty special moment when you see somebody have an epiphany.
And it’s even more special when it happens as a result of something you did.
The reason it’s so special is because up until that moment… nobody else had been able to (or had tried to) communicate or convey the information in a way that led to understanding.
It’s as though, finally, somebody understood them and the information well enough that they were able to mold it into the key that, finally, unlocked the door of their mind.
Which is exactly what it is sometimes—a very specific key that opens a very specific lock.
What most people try to do once they know the information, is shove it into mind doors—and hope it somehow forces it open. Or assume that the information is a single key that’ll unlock all minds.
…Nope.
The real key, pun intended, is seeking to understand the lock—the other person—well enough. Once you build rapport, hear some of their perspective, understand their learning style, observe how they act and interact in different situations, and do a little iteration via trial and error—it’s as though the teeth of the key start to form themselves.
But, just because you know the info, doesn’t mean you can make just anybody have an epiphany… it takes real patience, empathy, and curiosity to make that happen.
…Something you might think about as you head into your day with SO MUCH INFORMATION to share.
I was watching a video today that concluded with the following question: “Tell me about a time when you’ve felt most loved by me…”
A son answered: “After my last high school football game, when it was just me and you in the parking lot… just embracing each other and I was just crying because it was my last game. That was kind of like you sending me off in a way…”
A daughter answered: “The thing that really stands out for me is how you always supported me. The way that you saw I loved something and really helped nurture it. It was always special to know that whenever I looked up into the stands you were always going to be there 99% of the time.”
A mother answered: “When I had my heart attack… You came to the hospital… and you were really firm with me… and you almost made me feel guilty for having a heart attack… and I told your siblings, ‘I can’t die because Caitlyn will beat the sh*t out of me.’ And I knew that was because you loved me so much.”
A father answered: “I came home from work and you were in the front yard doing a video… maybe a snapchat or something… and you saw me pull up and said, ‘Hey dad, come here!’ And you had this pretty cool rap song playing… and I did my ‘old, white man dance…’ and I looked like and idiot… but I felt like you accepted me… and that you weren’t ashamed of your goofy looking dad.”
Inner Work Prompt: If somebody asked your loved ones this question… how do you think they’d respond?
Is what’s stopping you from growing contingent on somebody else or yourself?
Are you waiting for somebody else to show you the way forward? Are you waiting for somebody else’s permission to do what you know needs to be done? Are you basing what you do and how you act every day on other people’s moods, how they pay you, and/or how they set up the environment’s you’re in?
Here’s the thing: the only person stopping you from growing is and only ever will be you.
The only way forward shown to you by others is the way they think works best—based on their unique life experiences—not yours.
When reflecting on permission, ask yourself if there’s another avenue forward that isn’t being guarded. Or consider the idea of doing what you know is necessary to grow and asking for forgiveness later—once you’ve leveled up… rather than waiting passively for permission all your life… and staying boxed up.
Basing what you do on other people’s moods, how they pay you, environments they’ve set up is throttling your potential. People’s moods will always be outside of your control. How people pay you is (should be) dependent on how much value you bring—not merely doing what’s expected of you within the confines of a job description. The environment is everything. If you can’t grow, heal, or influence it—leave it. Keeping yourself planted in a toxic environment is killing your growth.
There are endless choices that can be made. And when you’re considering each of them, forget blame. Point the finger at yourself and consider using growth as your north star.
…It’ll never lead you astray.