I write 1-minute insights daily. Below are my latest. Like? Enter your email to get updates.
Helping busy people do inner work.
I write 1-minute insights daily. Below are my latest. Like? Enter your email to get updates.
As I reflect on my day, I realize I spent a large portion of it feeling frustrated.
…For reasons I believe justify those feelings of frustration.
But I also recognize, in retrospect, that the more I justified those feelings throughout the day, the worse the frustration got.
…And that felt to me, for this specific set of circumstances, like a bigger mistake than the ones that were made that led to my frustration in the first place.
If it is what it is… then I simply need to do what can be done.
Making frustrations bigger doesn’t make problems any smaller.
After basketball today, a friend shared a story of how he used to ball from 9am – 1am when he was younger. He was talking about how—in the good ol’ days—he’d get woken up at 9am by neighborhood friends, play in his driveway for a few hours, then go to the park and play for a few more, then go to a different park and play a few more, and so forth until eventually he’d make his way back home and play until he wasn’t allowed to anymore.
In the afternoon, while hanging out with my family, my aunt was telling us how she’s going to get a knee injection and how, if that doesn’t work, she may need to get a full knee replacement. She was sharing with us how she simply can’t wait to get back to a place where she can walk and not be in unbearable pain.
During dinner tonight, while eating a fantastic bowl of Phö, my little sister—who’s not really my sister but pretty much is—was reminiscing about the good ol’ days when we used to have the OG squad over for Phö nights and we’d eat around the table together, play games, watch movies, and hang out for hours and hours on end… and how she missed those times.
Ah, the good ol’ days…
We all can think back to experiences that we miss.
But just as Yesterday’s You didn’t realize they were living in what Future You would consider “the good ol’ days,” so is it true that Today’s You probably doesn’t realize that you’re living in what Tomorrow’s You will consider “the good ol’ days” right now.
I taught a Women’s Self-Defense class this past Wednesday.
It’s a free event designed to equip, empower, and prepare the women of our community to protect themselves against bigger, stronger, and faster assailants.
I’ll teach fundamental self-defense strategies, effective strikes from a variety of positions, and how to properly respond against chokes, grabs, bear hugs, etc—all while being surrounded by a respectful, uplifting community of supportive women.
I’ve been leading this session for years and have settled (remember this word) into a curriculum that I feel really good about.
At the end of this past week’s session, I handed out anonymous feedback forms where participants can rate the class on a scale of 1-10 and provide written feedback on what they liked, didn’t like, and what they would’ve liked to do more/less of.
Most of the reviews I’ve gotten since starting these forms have been 10s with the occasional 9. One person, however, after this past session rated it a 6 out of 10.
And here’s what I noticed in myself after seeing that:
…And it’s that last line that’s so key.
Beneath the emotional responses are buried opportunities. Opportunities that, if discovered with enough patience and deliberate inner work, can (finally) take you from “settled” to still evolving.
“If I can get to a place of pure love, I can tap into a channel where I become a medium… a sort of mouthpiece of stories, and voices, and ideas from all that I’ve ever seen and heard… I just need to get out of my own way.”
Sandra Cisneros
Last night, I attended a live talk given by bestselling author, Sandra Cisneros.
When discussing her creative process, she shared the absolute dime of a line above. And this is 100% what the creative process is about:
1. Getting out of your own way. This includes insulating your mind from the screens, dings, and distractions; taming it with proper routines in ideal environments and with focus enhancers; and investing in inner work that mitigates self-limiting beliefs, self-sabotaging behavior, and all of the natural human resistance that accompanies doing meaningful, creative work.
2. Becoming a medium. You’ll only ever be able to share a composition of what you’ve ever experienced. And when you can truly get out of your own way and open up that channel that taps into the ocean of life experiences that’s deep within, it’s almost as though the work expresses itself. This is the highest level of creation. Creation that’s free of ego… that isn’t concerned with what an audience thinks, what the ROI might be, how “good” or “bad” it might be… that’s simply flowing from somewhere deep within that is a pure manifestation of the Self.
3. And how do you tap into that channel…? By entering into a place of pure love. And anything that isn’t that, well, becomes something that falls into bullet point #1 from above and should be treated accordingly.
A mom from the martial arts school I teach at shared a story with me the other day of another instructor and her son (6 years old) that she was really touched by.
She told me her son promised this instructor that he would show him his baseball cards.
…And as they were loading up into the car after having already finished class, her son remembered his promise and asked his mom if they could go back. His mom told him they could always show him next time, but her son persisted. And she eventually relented.
When they got back inside, he proudly took his cards up to this instructor and stood in his sight, ready to show and be seen.
And rather than take a quick glance and give a quick high five or rush through the impromptu show and tell presentation, this instructor knelt down next to him and patiently looked at each of his 30ish cards, one card at a time, as he slowly flipped through.
…What’s more is that his mom said her son didn’t even say anything about any of them. He just silently thumbed through each as the instructor silently and attentively looked on.
And it proved to her son that what he felt was important was also important to the instructor because of the energy and intention he was met with. And the situation went from what could’ve been a superficial, non-meaningful exchange to a special moment that legitimately strengthened a bond.
…And the difference couldn’t have been made by anything more than 60 seconds.
“Without resistance to what it is, you’ll feel more in your power.”
…This is a line my friend Nat shared with me when discussing the power of connecting to the present moment and what it can do for your mentality and ability to act—especially during turbulent times filled with change.
How often do we step out of our power, simply because we’re self-sabotaging?
How often do we minimize what we’re able to do because of self-limiting, junk beliefs?
How often do we unknowingly increase the resistance in our lives by arguing against reality and unnecessarily exacerbate situations?
Reality is what it is. It’s unchangeable in this moment. Once you accept this and reallocate your mental resources from what’s out of your control to what’s in… and settle yourself back into the present moment… you just might find yourself, not only stepping into your next moments with less resistance, but into your full power as an infinitely-potentialed human being.
Related: 48 Brianna Wiest Quotes from The Mountain Is You on Self-Sabotage and Healing
If your days are dragging by and you regularly feel a sense of misery swelling up within the confines of your day, do yourself a favor and put a carrot into your future.
You know, like a concert or a spa day or a cabin reservation or a flight to a beach or roadtrip with a friend.
Being pulled forward towards something you’re really looking forward to is a much better way forward than trying to force yourself forward by smacking yourself with a stick (or metaphorically getting smacked by a stick from someone else) whenever you need a push in life.