Category: Identity

Yes, small changes done over an extended period of time add up to big change.

But, more importantly, small promises made and kept to ourself—which is what small changes done over an extended period of time is—adds up to big self-trust change.

Added up enough and suddenly our word isn’t as flimsy as sand… it’s solid as rock.

We do what we say we’re going to do because we’ve made THAT the habit. More powerful than any giant, one-off change we try to make that’s followed by countless promises made and broken.

History was a subject I struggled with in school.

Dates, names, countries… I had such a hard time remembering specifics.

A curiosity has come alive, however, as of late while reading historical fiction that’s changing this internal narrative.

It started with a fascination of Miyamoto Musashi and the historical context that surrounded him during feudal Japan.

And has grown considerably within the past few weeks as I began to read All The Light We Cannot See after having recently finished The Book Thief.

Typically, reading was something I did to understand overarching story lines, general plot, and to absorb key insights. Dates, names, countries… I mostly just skimmed and paid little attention to.

Now I find myself curiously doing deep dives into dates and what was happening in countries at that time and what it might mean for the character context.

And let me tell you… this is an excellent use of AI.

I use Claude and it’s like having a brilliant little history professor at my bedside ready to answer my ignorance with crucial digestible context.

Some questions I’ve recently asked: “What was happening in the world, specifically around France, around August 1944…” and “Can you give me an overview of d-day?” and “What does congenital cataracts… bilateral… mean?” and “The story went back in time. Can you tell me what was happening in Germany in 1936 roughly?” and “What was so humiliating for Germany at the end of ww1?”

I share this for two reasons: (1) “I’m not good at history” is a made up story—one that can be rewritten at any time; (2) Using AI as a comprehension companion is a highly underrated life hack.

We have our family mask, our work mask, our friend mask…

And in most cases each of those masks have several variations based on which family members or work associates or friend groups we’re around.

These masks that get created, however, the ones that we wear, aren’t always fitting to who we want to be or how we ideally want to present.

We let people manipulate our masks… we let criticism and influence steer us away from our own tastes… we sometimes wear a mask for so long that we forget that it’s outdated or that we’ve outgrown it or, worse yet, what it even looks like…!

But once you realize that it’s acting and masks… the beautiful thing is… you can reclaim your power as an actor.

You can choose in this moment that you want to adjust your mask, shed a layer that’s no longer relevant, or add a component that your highest self would have.

Take a few moments today to “lay” your masks down and take a closer look.

Are they each aligned with who you most want to be?

Are there little tweaks that need to be done that you can take care of today?

The ones who wear only one mask are limited.

Be free. Expand your closet. Be anything and everything you want to be when the time calls for it.

Make taking masks off and putting new ones on seamless… smooth… invigorating…

Limiting your spirit to just one is a situation that makes none of our spirits feel free.

You were born unique—you know this.

The world, however, is going to fight to make you interchangeable—it’s better for business.

What’s better for your business is fighting for your uniqueness.

Which, worth mentioning, is usually everything you feel like saying and doing but hesitate on because it’s not what everybody else is doing.

…In this sense of the word: start to perceive hesitation differently.

Use it as a signal to lean in versus back out.

Hesitation to do something that is so completely you is something that deserves that same pause… that same deep breath… that same “dancing-with-the-nerves” mentality that fear elicits right before you step into big, outside-the-comfort-zone moments.

…Because that’s exactly what being unapologetically yourself sometimes feels like!

And just like those moments before you have to give a public presentation, or perform in a “game-on-the-line” situation, or ask out that cute person who gives you butterflies… and you calm yourself down enough to lean in with your most physiologically ready self…

…So, too, should we learn to do that when hesitating on self-expression.

Doing the same as everybody else might feel like the safe bet, but in many ways it’s one of the greatest risks.

Same look, same skills, same résumé isn’t safe in today’s world… it’s easily interchangeable. And more importantly, sacrificing chances to realize more truly who you are is an opportunity you don’t always get back—there’s no second life for do-overs.

So wear those weird clothes. Mix together unconventionally mixed concepts. Write about super niche topics that you feel inexplicably drawn to.

…These may prove to be some of the most important path-changing, energy-recalibrating, tribe-attracting moments of your life.

Can you teach a zebra to be a lion?

…Probably not anymore than you can teach a lion to be a zebra.

One thing is for sure though, we humans aren’t born lions or zebras.

We’re born as mostly blank slated creatures filled to brim with potential.

And sure, some of us might be born with more zebra tendencies and others with more lion characteristics.

But, we aren’t born lions or zebras.

The thing about potential is that it’s malleable. It can be worked, cultivated, and changed. We get to choose what kind of existence we want to lead.

If we tell ourselves we’re zebras—so shall it be. But, we can also train ourselves to be a lion and slowly our roar will come to be. If we’re not aware of our potential and how malleable it can actually be…

We’ll end up just becoming the creature society tells us to be…

And we might live an existence that feels out of place… not quite right… lackluster or uneventful… mismatched or frustrating… lonely and like our herd is forever missing…

…And what a tragedy that would be.

What’s a moment from your childhood that taught you to hide your true self?

…For me?

I think back to times when I got my feelings hurt and started crying and was made fun of… which taught me to hide moments of embarrassment and pain…

Or times when I would eagerly answer a question in school or get a higher grade on a test or assignment than my friends and get made fun of for being a goodie goodie… which taught me to answer less questions and be less of that.

Or times when I was made fun of for being chubby… which taught me to hide behind certain kinds of clothes and styles and avoid certain situations—like going to the pool or beach—where my “true” self would be on full display.

Part of growing up and maturing is recognizing these learned behaviors for what they are… innocent behaviors adopted to please others… to fit in better… to avoid being made fun of and improve social status…

…And taking actions that’ll help us realign with our true self once again.

To unlearn the behavior of suppressing emotion and learning how to feel all of it once again.

To unlearn the behavior of holding ourselves back or watering ourselves down and learning how to push ourselves to unleash our full potential once again.

To unlearn the behavior of hiding behind clothes and feeling shame about our bodies and learning how to live with less self-consciousness and more joy once again.

…What are moments from your childhood and what behaviors is it time for you to unlearn?

Sometimes, like a pendulum, when you push too hard or for too long into one area of interest you find yourself feeling this natural pull in the exact opposite direction and away from it.

This is what happened to me with personal development.

I was HEAVY into the personal development scene for years. I read all the books. I listened to all the podcasts. I went to all the seminars. Heck, I even created a personal development quote curation website.

And then, one day, I just couldn’t listen to another personal development podcast… and I started listening to music instead.

And then, on another day, I just couldn’t read another personal development book… and I read a novel instead.

And then, on yet another day, I just couldn’t spend my vacation days on another personal development seminar… and I decided to go to a music show instead.

…And you know what?

I feel like I’ve personally developed far more following the pulls of my pendulum and listening to my inner compass than I ever would’ve if I kept shoving personal development down my throat.

This isn’t to say anything negative about personal development books, podcasts, or seminars. It’s simply to say… sometimes we need to pay more attention to the personal in our continued development.

Our inner guidance knows the way. We just have to pay close enough attention and honor it.