Category: Identity

Within the landscape of our mind isn’t just one voice.

There’s the voice of the Ego and there’s the voice of the Self.

Ego arises effortlessly. It’s one of the byproducts of being emotional, social, imperfect creatures.

• When we experience undesirable emotions, Ego fights for immediate comfort (e.g. suppression).
• When we experience social hierarchy, Ego fights for expedited means to the top.
• When we experience imperfections, Ego fights for distraction.

Self doesn’t arise. Self is tapped into as a result of inward effort. When we find ways to tap into this infinite wisdom, then we find different answers to the same human conditions:

• When we experience undesirable emotions, Self accepts their presence and allows them to flow.
• When we experience social hierarchy, Self returns to authenticity and reminds us of our own journey.
• When we experience imperfections, Self reminds us of our infinite, untouchable worth.

Ego is comparative, competitive, and comfort oriented. Self is authentic, gift giving, and long-term oriented.

The dynamic worth noting here is that the Ego wants to be the only one heard. It’s loud, obnoxious, and wildly distracting. The Self is subtle, quiet, and speaks in whispers.

This is the root cause of much of our inner conflict and self-imposed suffering.

They are both answers to one of our fundamental driving forces as humans: to seek pleasure and avoid pain.

Ego, however, isn’t a good guide. It’s interested in the immediate gratification and pain avoidance. Self, knows that this usually leads to compounded long-term pain. It’s the Self that can best guide us forward. But, if we never take the time to quiet the Ego… we’ll never hear it.

3 Important things happen when you’re NOT unapologetically yourself:

1. Inner conflict arises because who you are and how you’re presenting are in opposition.
2. You attract people into your life who vibe with your mask.
3. You repel people who don’t vibe with your mask (who might be attracted to your authentic self).

3 Important things happen when you ARE unapologetically yourself:

1. You get to be your unapologetic self (no masks).
2. You attract people into your life who vibe with the real you.
3. People who don’t vibe with you will continue on their way.

3 Important things to remember when you are in the midst of being unapologetically yourself:

1. Not everyone will like it. Good. The ones who don’t—aren’t your tribe (even if you thought they were). Keep vibing unapologetically. Your real tribe won’t make you apologize for being you.
2. Not everyone you attract will be good additions to your tribe. You’ll need to keep firm boundaries up against energy vampires, energy manipulators, and toxic types.
3. Attraction works two ways. Don’t just wait for everybody else to attract to you. Take the initiative and follow the flow of your attractions. Sometimes, being unapologetically yourself involves being quiet, shy, and reserved. The same is true in others. Take more risks and reach out to people who you think you’d vibe really well with. Somebody has to take the initiative—might as well bring the control back into your court and let that somebody be you.

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I love when my words make people “pensive.” Thank you for the kind words and coffee. This post is dedicated to you. ☕️

If you’re having a hard time being yourself, rather than question yourself (what’s wrong with me?!), question everything else.

Being yourself shouldn’t require effort. It should never beget self-consciousness.

Being yourself should be effortless. It’s what comes from an absence of self-consciousness.

Being yourself is you in your raw, pure, and untainted state.

If what’s coming from you isn’t that—then it’s because of a factor that’s foreign to you.

That foreign element is making you (or has made you feel) reserved, fearful, and doubtful.

Question who or what that source might be (or has been):

• Are you interacting with people who are hyper critical and demeaning?
• Is the work you’re doing demanding that you act a certain kind of way?
• Are you being influenced too heavily (brainwashed) by media and TV?

Once you’ve identified what foreign elements are causing you internal conflict—remove as many of those influences from your life as you can.

Anything that moves you away from yourself should be removed (or at least mitigated) from your life without hesitation.

And anything that makes you feel more yourself should be more included in your life without hesitation.

Nothing in life goes well when you’re not able to be yourself.

Being yourself comes first.

You can travel 5,000 miles, hike to the top of 100 mountains, lounge at 50 beaches, sail all seven seas, and step foot in every country of the world…

And still not find yourself.

Sometimes outward exploration becomes synonymous with inward exploration.

But, self-discovery isn’t always the byproduct of travel.

Inward reflection is where “selves” are found.

And inward reflection doesn’t cost a thing. No planning required. No time off work needs to be submitted.

You simply need to create space for stillness.

You know, the same way you would when you step into an awe inspiring scene of nature.

See, travel can be used as a hack that elicits stillness, but don’t get it twisted…

Stillness is available to you every day. And waiting until you travel far-and-wide before you explore your inner workings is a costly way to live.

Better to create some space, put on some noise-cancelling headphones, and start doing some of that inner exploring today.