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Matt Hogan's Blog Posts

Give Gifts More Often

Published on January 21, 2024

Today, I found a gift I never gave.

It was two books wrapped with an enclosed card.

What I wrote was something sentimental and specific to the person and what they were going through at a specific time. An offering of some ideas that they might hold on to to help them carry on. And the books, of course, were thematically related to this notion.

The reason I never gave the gifts was because they slid into an out of sight position in my car and after a while, I just forgot about them completely. Once I rediscovered them, it was way past the occasion for the gift and so I just left them.

And it makes me wonder… had I gotten those gifts to that person, how might it’ve changed them? Would the words have landed? Would the books have made an impact?

Or would it have been a notion that was temporarily appreciated and then forgotten about? Would the words have fallen flat? Would the books have just been stored on their shelves and left unread?

Which makes me think… is it possible to give a gift and not have it make some type of impact on the other person? Even if the words didn’t strike a chord… even if the books weren’t read… is it possible to offer something so thoughtful and human without changing the other even one tenth of a degree in a better direction?

To which I’d say… after thinking about it… I don’t think so.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

Sit With The Not Knowing

Published on January 20, 2024

If I’m trying to write, but can’t think of what I want to say…

Rather than “look for inspiration” and browse websites, other articles, social media, etc…

I’ll try and force myself to sit with the not knowing.

The mindset is this: we already have an ocean’s worth of insight from the hundreds of thousands of hours we’ve been alive… what we don’t need is a few more drops of inspiration to add to our ocean… what we need is a space that allows us to dive into that ocean so we can (finally) do some proper exploring.

Think scuba diving.

…You don’t see scuba divers browsing social media, scanning websites for inspiration, or asking search engines which direction to go.

Scuba divers dive and explore. With absolutely zero distractions.

And when it comes to all things creative… so should we.

Out Of Infinity

Published on January 19, 2024

There are, quite literally, an infinite number of decisions you could have made in this moment… and yet, you made this one.

One out of infinity.

Overwhelming when you try and visualize the scale.

Freeing when you realize you might not be as stuck as you’ve made yourself out to be.

Inner Work Prompt: We do what we do because of everything we’ve done. And most of what we’ve done has been because of our environments, upbringings, and various conditioning. Imagine, however, that in this next moment you got amnesia and forget everything you’ve ever learned and come to know… Which path might this “reborn” you pick (out of infinity)?

Managing Love For You And Me Simultaneously

Published on January 18, 2024

I’m writing an article for MoveMe Quotes on boundaries that I plan on publishing this weekend.

One of my favorite lines that I’ve read so far is: “Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.”

A lot of people feel bad about boundaries… They have a hard time saying “no…” They don’t want to let others down or make them upset or disappointed.

But the truth of the matter is that boundaries are an expression of love—not hate.

And when you draw a boundary that allows you to better prioritize yourself—and your own time/energy/attention—it’s an expression of self-love.

…Because it’s precisely how you fill yourself up so you can better give love.

And anyone who has a problem with that (except maybe children/dependents who require some additional strategizing)… is precisely the type of person who you need to draw a boundary to.

…You’re not letting anyone down.

…There’s nothing to feel bad about.

…You’re not a disappointment.

You’re creating the line that allows you to BETTER LOVE them AND you simultaneously.

Really soak this one in… Because if you keep allowing them to cross your boundaries and suck the life from you… soon there won’t be any life—or love—left for you to give.

P.s. You can read my complete collection of 150+ quotes on boundaries that I’ll be making the article from here.

Snow Day Creativity

Published on January 17, 2024

Today, the martial arts school I teach at closed due to weather.

In the spirit of creativity and resilience, we created a Martial Arts Snow Day Scavenger Hunt for the students to do at home with their families.

We’re quite proud of the idea and expect it to lead to some great memories.

The weather might be outside of our control and it may even ruin our plans… but, nothing is stopping us from controlling what’s inside of our control and unleashing the full creativity of our minds at the obstacles in our way.

After all, the obstacles are the way.

Inner Work Prompt: What’s a creative solution you came up with that solved a problem caused by forces outside of your control? What’s a creative solution to a problem you’re currently facing that’s caused by forces outside of your control?

Experiential Living… via Others

Published on January 16, 2024

“You’re not gonna like that I say this but, I don’t like reading self-help books.”

This is what an associate of mine said to me today.

To which I replied, surprisingly enough to her, that for the most part—neither do I.

Self-help has become a crowded space that features a ton of regurgitated ideas, shared in an often uncompelling manner, that frequently feels like fluffed up versions of blog posts that should’ve stayed as blog posts.

Maybe you can relate?

…And as a self-help nerd, you might think this presents as a problem.

But what I’m discovering more and more is that the best insights come from the best stories.

The ideas that resonate most deeply for me seem to be the hard earned ones. Not the ones where the insight is told directly—extracted by the author and written out plainly with a few supporting examples—but the ones where I feel like I lived the life of the person and experienced, through the lens of their story, the insight that was uncovered.

And I’m able to make the discovery and come to my own conclusion as a result.

In the same way that the best way to learn is to learn through (reflected upon) experience—the best way to self-help is to help yourself through the experiences of others.

In short: don’t read caricature self-help books—read fat biographies, autobiographies, and literature that has stood the test of time.

One insight from the latter is worth twenty insights from the former.

P.s. You can see what I’m reading and what I’ve read on Goodreads. Recommendations welcome.

Roadside Assistance

Published on January 15, 2024

My car wouldn’t start this morning.

At first I thought it might’ve been because of low gas.

My next door neighbor gave me about an 1/8 of a tank’s worth.

That didn’t work.

So my next thought was battery.

My other neighbor had a portable jumper kit and jumper cables—neither worked.

So I called roadside assistance.

After several hours of waiting, I needed to call a stand-in to be there for when the roadside assistance arrived so I could go to work.

My mom stepped in.

I also needed a ride to work.

My dad stepped in.

I also needed a ride home from work.

My mom stepped in again and said if it did get towed, I could also borrow her car while the mechanic figured out what was wrong and got it fixed.

How freaking fortunate am I to have such an incredible support network just a call away?

While it sucks that my car broke down, I’m super thankful.

As I say all of the time, life happens. And when it does, not only do we have a chance to learn, but we have a chance to reach out and ask for help.

I learned I needed to be more prepared so I ordered a portable jumper kit of my own. And I’m reminded not to let my gas tank get as low as it did.

And while asking for help can sometimes feel awkward or like we’re placing a burden on others, it really just gives others a chance to give… a chance to do good… a chance to connect.

…Which is a wonderful gift when it’s met with true gratitude and a reciprocating heart. :)