I write 1-minute insights daily. Below are my latest. Like? Enter your email to get updates.
I help busy people do inner work.
I write 1-minute insights daily. Below are my latest. Like? Enter your email to get updates.
I found out today that somebody I care about and am close to was considering ending their life.
Thank goodness the right people intervened and helped this person when they needed it the most.
When it was brought to my attention, I immediately set up a hang out date. Connections, after all, are the handholds that keep people grasped into reality.
…And we had the best time.
You would never know looking at this person in a casual setting. Laughing. Joking. Full of energy.
But, after talking to them about it, being with people was never the problem… it was the figuring out how to be with them more.
…How to find their friend group, lovers, and how to play the game of connection in their own way in spite of the misinformation and skewed perspectives shared ad naseum via social media.
And one of the limiting beliefs they held was, “If they don’t reach out first, are they even my friend?”
And here was my offering: you are not alone in this sentiment by any means. Everybody wants to be the one who’s invited. Everybody wants the other to take the initiative. Everybody wants to be liked and thought of and held in high regard…
And so don’t look at that as a reason to wait and dwell… look at it as the ultimate opportunity to be the one who gives that gift to others.
Because that’s what it is: an absolute gift.
And one that’s so desperately needed in our modern society.
And so I pass the same sentiment on to you: be the one who spreads that gift.
And so, too, shall you receive back in kind.
I took my car into the shop today.
It’s due for it’s annual inspection and I have to get my winter tires on… not to mention it’s squeaking when I drive which is more embarrassing than I want to admit.
I’m fully expecting the mechanic to find plenty wrong as he does the inspection—it’s been a year of use with no check-ups, after all. Things will likely need to be tightened, replaced, refilled, changed, loosened, etc.—it’s the way of the world. Things will always move towards entropy. My 10+ year old car most certainly included.
…You know what else always moves towards entropy?
You.
Especially in this day and age.
And my thought today for you is simple: when’s the last time you did an annual inner self inspection? When’s the last time you did a full audit of your mental/emotional state and took inventory of at least some of the things that need to be “tightened, replaced, refilled, changed, loosened, etc.”? …Because if it’s been more than a year (hopefully not as long as you’ve been alive), it might be time.
Get an updated inspection sticker on the windshielf of your mind.
This next year of your life would be better as a result.
I got a new phone today.
While syncing the old to the new, I saw there were 117,000+ text messages that were queued for transfer.
And how interesting to think that every relationship I have in my life is directly correlated to what I chose to send in my portion of the 117,000+ messages.
…There’s an infinite number of ways I could have chosen to initiate and respond—and yet, I chose how I did.
…For better? For worse?
…Yes to both, I’d say.
My thought for today is focused on the next 117,000+.
How can I be more mindful? More timely? More authentic? More empathetic? More clear?
Sure, their bubble is their responsibility. But also and just as important: my bubble is mine.
“Life is not moving anywhere. It is simply dancing here.” ~ Osho
And if you’re waiting to do all of your dancing until some “down the line” part of your timeline…
…It might be too late when you finally realize—the dancing was available here all along.
This past weekend, I had an incredible time with friends.
…Friends who I met through another friend.
And how did I meet that friend?
…By asking her if she was okay at a music show.
She looked a little off and I offered her a hand, some water, and some support.
And once she was feeling better, we spent the rest of the night dancing.
The need for connection has never felt more prominent than it does today.
…Behind screens? People are connection machines.
…But in real life? …There’s a sad disconnect.
There’s hesitation. There’s shyness. There’s self-consciousness. And the disconnected gap only seems to be growing.
The strategy? …Start with the basics.
Become excellent at complimenting strangers. Look for ways you can be helpful—and act. And of course, smile… say, “Hi” first… and learn how to lean into and follow your curiosity with open-ended questions.
Getting even just 1% better in this department could lead to the one conversation that influences every other future connection in your life.
After a couple days of being too busy to write, I always try to give myself space to… digest.
A lot happens throughout a typical day and when I’m at my busiest? …A lot can be an understatement.
Time to write, for me, is digesting time. It’s when I stop consuming information in any of its forms and just sit with what’s already been consumed. Because just as it is with eating food, too much consumption and not enough digestion leads to problems.
…Problems that you may knowingly or unknowingly have because of a lack of built in digestion time.
…And what does digestion time look like for me, you ask?
Sitting on my couch.
And switching my mentality from within my thoughts to watcher of my thoughts.
…And I just try to notice things. Experiences that stand out. Highlights that keep replaying. Pain points that keep throbbing. Open loops that keep looping. Curious happenings that warrant following.
And after about 30 minutes to an hour of that… I write about it. And I almost always feel a whole lot better.
…Maybe give it a try?
Something magical happens when people come together with the intention of giving and sharing versus getting and receiving.
Think about the morning of a gift exchange. If all people come together leading with the intention of giving and sharing—it’s magical. Everyone gives… yet everyone leaves with more than they gave. Which is even true if they happened to receive something, too. The total of what’s given is greater than the total of the individual gifts. Magical—I know.
…When people come together leading with the intention of getting and receiving, however, the outcome changes dramatically. Even at the same gift exchange mentioned above… if the person’s focus is on themself and purely what they’re getting out of the exchange… the magic disappears. The total of what results is equal to or even less than the sum of the individual parts. Magic gone.
I met up with some friends this past weekend to discuss a trip we’re planning on taking together. This was not a gift-giving occasion by any means… yet tons of gifts were exchanged.
We all showed up with the intention of giving and sharing with each other… and a magic took over the evening. We shared food. We gave conversation. We shared laughs. We gave attention. We shared stories. We gave kindness. We shared games. We gave memories…
What resulted was worth exponentially more than the individual words and actions we took. And had we shown up with the intention of getting taken care of and/or receiving entertainment… the energy would’ve been drastically different that night.
Magic gone.
Same night.
Simple change in intention.
Maybe give it a try at your next gathering of people.