I write 1-minute insights daily. Below are my latest. Like? Enter your email to get updates.
I help busy people do inner work.
I write 1-minute insights daily. Below are my latest. Like? Enter your email to get updates.
One of my employees sat me down in my office yesterday and explained to me why he thinks some of our students are getting bored and what we can do about it.
It’s the… “and what we can do about it” part that impressed me.
People come to me with problems essentially my entire work shift each day.
Parents having problems with their kids, kids having problems with other kids, instructors having problems students, students having problems with the curriculum, something in the school is broken and has become a problem, associates realizing that something in our system is broken and has become a problem, and so on.
Granted, it’s a career I love and this isn’t a complaint about the problems I’ve professionally chosen to take on.
It’s more so a highlight of how valuable and refreshing it is to have somebody come to me with… solutions.
And it makes them stand out because the default seems to be, “It’s not my job to fix this…” or “I’ll deal with this later” or “I can’t wait to get home tonight to watch my show…” and it gets swept under the rug and/or forgotten about and/or pawned off on somebody else.
A rule that was told to me years ago that I try my best to carry with me for everything I do is, “Don’t come to me with a problem unless you also have a solution to go with it.”
Run through a normal day in your head.
Does your mind see, “obligation, obligation, obligation…etc.”
…Or does it see, “Chance to gift, chance to gift, chance to gift, etc.”
…Suddenly, you might start to realize why you’re feeling so run down and worn out or overwhelmed with gratitude and joy on the daily.
I haven’t published them anywhere online yet… but, the library is loading…
I stopped making videos years ago because I complicated the process.
I obsessed over every detail of each video and eventually burned out.
And what I realized from that process is that what I really cared about was the core content behind the production of each video—the written word; the message.
So for years, that’s all I’ve been focused on producing. Short, insightful, written messages to help busy people do inner work—myself included.
What’s been on my mind as of late, however, is how there’s another gap to bridge.
…Just because I “word wrestled” and clarified some thoughts and came up with a core message for a day… doesn’t mean that that message was internalized.
And that’s what creating videos again is helping me do—internalize my clarified thoughts.
I’ve simplified my process significantly. And for now, the goal is to publish to one platform, one message, that was recorded in one take.
I’m not reading the words I wrote verbatim and splicing together multiple takes. What I’m doing behind the scenes is internalizing the essence of the message and challenging myself to convey it authentically by recording that one take again, and again, and again… until I get that one, uninterrupted, concise, clearly communicated train of thought.
…You know, as it would be done in reality, in conversation, in practical every day use.
If you’re going to boycott something to starve it of resources (of your own at the very least), don’t forget to actively invest your resources elsewhere to help the alternative grow.
Because not participating altogether isn’t helping anything better grow just as it isn’t helping what you’re avoiding grow—you’re essentially just becoming a bystander/spectator.
Don’t like what you’re seeing on social media?
Don’t like what you’re hearing on the news?
Don’t like what a company did to their employee(s)?
Starving it of your time, energy, attention, and money is an excellent option.
…Creating social media that you wish you saw more of?
…Covering stories and/or spotlighting people that you wish you read more about in the news?
…Choosing to buy from companies that have good culture, good business integrity, and high moral code?
Now that’s the type of effort that leads to a better world.
It can’t just be about tearing everything down and/or opting out of the system altogether.
It has to be about building something better in its place.
This past Saturday was my sister’s last day working at a restaurant she’s been at for about a decade.
Seeing as though that restaurant had served as her work-home of sorts for so long, I saw it as a cause for celebration.
So I invited a bunch of family and friends to join me for a drink and in leaving her a nice tip on this celebratory day—an effort she had no idea about.
To both of our surprise, we had an almost unanimous turnout.
…And to the two-ish people who weren’t able to show, we made plans to have a drink and leave her a nice tip on the celebratory day of her working her first shift at the new place!
The thing about celebratory events… is that you really don’t need much of a cause to have one. In my experience, people love being invited to events… love getting out of their everyday normal… love engaging in celebration—regardless of the reason.
…There’s so much dread and pain and grief and horror and fear being slung at us daily that when we get gifted excitement and joy and positivity and honor and connection—it can feel like a literal cure.
What cause for celebration is present in your life right now?
I have been trying to get a childhood friend of mine to play basketball with my crew and I for over 3 years.
Today… he finally played.
He was rusty, he said.
His shot was off, he said.
His conditioning wasn’t what it used to be, he said.
He couldn’t drive because his shoes were slippery, he said.
He was going to need to sub a lot during the game, he said.
…But you know what he said today that rang louder than anything else mentioned above?
Yes.
He said yes to playing.
He said yes to beginning to get the rust off.
He said yes to starting the process of recalibrating his shot.
He said yes to getting his conditioning back up and getting better shoes and getting to a point where he doesn’t need to sub as much during games.
…He said yes to getting back out of his comfort zone, meeting himself where he was—rust and all, and doing something that’ll help him grow.
Today was the hardest step to take.
It’s down hill from here.
A friend was telling me how he was struggling to find a friend group.
He has friends, he explained.
But only friends he felt he could hang out with separately—as individuals.
If befriending a group of people from those individual contexts isn’t an option (i.e. a work friends group or martial arts friend group)… then what I told him is to find common ground and initiate a low-risk gathering.
For example, is there a sport your various friends all like to play? Initiate and invite them to a pick-up game. At worst? You’ll all play a game you enjoy and can talk about the plays, the rules, the strategy, the cheating, the winning, the losing, the after party…
Or maybe there’s a creative outlet you all fancy? Initiate and invite them to a dance class event. At worst? You’ll all exert energy in a way you enjoy and can talk about the steps, the turns, the how-did-she-do-thats, the wow-did-you-see-thats, the two-left-feet people, and the smooth steppers…
Or maybe you’re more old school and want to try it the way it has happened for thousands of years? Initiate and invite them to a gathering of food or a fire. At worst? You’ll all eat or warm your bodies.
…At best? You’ll all nourish and warm your souls.