I write 1-minute insights daily. Below are my latest. Like? Enter your email to get updates.
I help busy people do inner work.
I write 1-minute insights daily. Below are my latest. Like? Enter your email to get updates.
If you have social anxiety or feel nervous about showing up to an event solo that you want to go to… because you feel like you need your family or friends there with you at all times… maybe just try showing up and seeing what happens?
If you feel tired or like you’d rather be lazy… or feel like you need to be motivated or amped up before going to a workout class or exercise based activity… maybe just commit to showing up and seeing what happens?
If you are a planner and get invited to a trip with friends, but don’t have details on where you’ll be staying… who you’ll be staying with… modes of transportation… etc… all that’s confirmed is the round trip plane ticket… maybe just commit to the plane ticket and trust that you’ll figure out the rest as it unfolds…?
Maybe instead of needing to know all of the exact details ahead of time… or needing specific criteria to be met… or needing to feel a certain kind of way before doing or trying something…
Maybe just commit to showing up and seeing what happens from there?
A parent got upset with me about how one of our martial arts programs was presented.
I’ve been thinking about the interaction a lot. And, consequently, how our programs are presented.
It’s lead to some intriguing conversations with my associates and some new ideas on how we might restructure and proceed. In, what we hope will be, a better way.
And if I (we) can continue to channel the emotional energy we might feel from harsh criticism and heated feedback into constructive brainstorming and actions for improvement… then, in some sense, we should be thankful for harsh criticism and heated feedback.
…Because evolution comes from pressure, not comfort. And if what comes unto criticism can withstand the flames, then it comes out on the other side better; more tested; more polished.
And if it can’t… then it’s a good thing it was brought to your attention and burned.
…Because otherwise, you’d be left peddling a lower, less evolved thing from a lower, less evolved version that has a lower, less evolved experience and understanding.
…And nobody wants that.
Being disciplined is impressive.
Living aligned is like being consistently disciplined… only without as much effort.
Being disciplined is not eating a cookie when there’s constantly a bowl of them in front of you. Living aligned is not eating a cookie because there aren’t any cookies for you to eat.
Being disciplined is forcing yourself to get through a grueling workout. Living aligned is getting your workout in via your favorite sport/activity.
Being disciplined is working hard on a project that bores you to tears. Living aligned is looking up at the clock after having worked really hard on a project and being shocked at how much time has gone by… and wanting to keep going to complete more.
If you find yourself wondering how the best are as disciplined as they are… it’s not because they have a superhuman amount of willpower… it’s because they’re excellent at aligning what needs to get done with their circadian rhythm/schedule, aptitudes/abilities, interests/curiosities, identity/self-awareness, home/work environments, and so on.
Don’t blame it on the discipline… blame it on the misalignment.
My favorite conversation from the weekend was one that wasn’t planned.
I saw one of our martial arts school’s students perform in a standout way… and I saw his mom sitting alone.
I went up to her and simply remarked on the performance and then intentionally lingered around after the initial comment and went back-and-forth with her for a while—even after some prolonged pauses.
We talked about her son, his character, and his future. We then talked out our futures, our travel history and plans, and our ideas around retirement. We then did a deep dive and talked about Africa, Burning Man, and ways society could be improved…
All because of that one intention I lead with… and that was to linger. Not if it made it awkward, but if it made the conversation progress. And it did.
It was a totally impromptu decision that worked out as well as it did because of the inner work I’ve done around the topic of conversation before.
If you go in with a script or a list of questions or a designated plan… or feel like you need one of the above… you might miss the magic of a great conversation.
If you lead with the right intention, however, and trust… and linger… you might start to see magic pop into your life more and more…
This past weekend, 60 martial arts students from the martial arts organization I teach at competed in an out-of-state tournament.
One of our goals was to get the whole team together for a celebratory dinner when it was over.
The reservation we were looking to make was for 80ish on a Saturday night—so you can imagine the types of responses we got when we inquired.
Some restaurants flat out denied us. Some said they don’t take reservations and to just show up—that they think it’d be alright. Some said yes, but we wouldn’t be able to sit together.
All of these answers are completely understandable. It’s an over-the-top request.
But where we ended up going won our business because they answered differently. Not only did they answer with a confident “Yes,” but they answered with gratitude.
…And not only that, but once we arrived, they delivered.
…And not only that, but the manager bought my instructor and I drinks and gave me a discount on my bill.
…And he kept expressing his gratitude throughout the night over and over again.
It made me feel like we made the right choice… like we formed a bond/connection… like I’d like to take the squad—my business—back there next year.
And not because of anything major he did. We brought him thousands of dollars in business… and he comped my instructor and I less than a hundred dollars in drinks/credit…
It was the gratitude that made all the difference.
Be careful when somebody asks you out for a drink…you might stay out past your bedtime, spend some hard earned money, and lose sleep.
…But what you might gain, however, is worth considering.
Envy not the person who has what you don’t have or who has gone where you haven’t gone…
Envy the person who thinks not of what they don’t have or where they haven’t gone…
…And instead focuses solely on what’s here, what’s now, and where they have arrived.
For joy and gratitude in the current step is an excellent strategy for evoking more of the same in the next step. And the step after that.
And so too for the person who steps with envy. It only evokes more of the same. No matter how much you acquire or how many places you’ve gone.