I write 1-minute insights daily. Below are my latest. Like? Enter your email to get updates.
I help busy people do inner work.
I write 1-minute insights daily. Below are my latest. Like? Enter your email to get updates.
Black Belt Candidate #1:
– Showed up early to every practice, pre-test, and test
– Trained, rehearsed, and started drilling curriculum requirements early
– Got his/her curriculum approved to the highest standard
– Wrote an earnest black belt essay that reflected careful, deep thought
– Completed a service project that made a lasting and meaningful impact on both them and others
– Received a glowing letter of recommendation from an individual who could attest to character demonstrated over the course of years
– Courageously shaved their head/participated in a physical demonstration of humility
– Fasted before their test for the challenge and ritualistic cleanse of the body
– Gave their 100% best effort at each step of the testing process
Black Belt Candidate #2:
– Showed up late to every practice, pre-test, and test
– Waited until the last minute to train, rehearse, and start drilling curriculum requirements
– Got his/her curriculum approved according to the bare minimum standard
– Used AI to write their essay and added minimal thought and/or editing
– Did a last minute service project that they made sound better than it was
– Received a short, generic letter of recommendation
– Decided against participating in a physical demonstration of humility because of fear
– Didn’t want to feel hungry so didn’t fast for their test
– Did just enough to get by at each step of the testing process
…You may not be a martial artist. Heck, you might never even step into a martial arts school. But the contrast in decisions outlined above and what results apply universally. Candidate #1 and candidate #2 are going to feel completely different about their belt, the testing process, and themself… my question for you is: which candidate are you in your domain of life?
In all my years running black belt and higher degree test, I’ve never had anybody say to me they regret participating in a really hard test.
Heck, candidates are much quicker to complain about a test being easy than they ever are to complain about a test being hard.
In fact, hard tests usually lead to bragging more than any kind of complaint.
And I think this illustrates something about all of us. That surface level, sure, we want to follow the path of least resistance. And do what’s easy. And complain about all that’s hard with our life.
…But that we also crave meaning.
And that deep down we know that nothing worthwhile comes easily. And so when we sign up for something that’s supposed to be hard, if we don’t get it, we complain because what we were after wasn’t “easy”—what we were after was meaning.
And by not giving us hard, it isn’t that you gifted us easy… it’s that you took away meaning.
…And that’s much harder to deal with than a meaningless easy.
Some of our martial arts students will shave their heads before big black belt or higher degree tests as a demonstration of their humility—to demonstrate that they are more than their hair. And that it isn’t the hair that makes the person, it’s the character that does.
And some of the students will really struggle with this… they’ll worry about what other people might say to them about it and/or that they’ll get made fun of or ostracized in some way.
…But I tell you what, the students who do go through with it? The ones who choose to sacrifice beauty for a chance to build character? The ones who decide to trust in their self-opinion more than in the opinion of others? The ones who choose the difficult route over the comfort zone option?
These are the students who get the most from their black belt and higher degree tests. These are the students who leave the test, not just with a different colored belt or added bar, but with a different colored character and an example that raises the bar.
…Because these are the students—not just of the martial arts who are in it for belts and titles—but of life who are in it for self-awareness and experiential knowledge.
…Who would you ask to recount your true and most honest version of yourself?
Isn’t it interesting to think that each person you asked… would recount a different “true” and “most honest” version of you as seen through their eyes?
It’s worth sitting with this and asking yourself how the different people in your life would recount you to the amnesia you.
And then linger with that thought and decide if you’re happy with that… or if there are pieces of you missing that you would never get back because you’ve never given them out…
And decide if you want to do something about that…
…Or keep hiding what you might consider your most true and honest pieces?
An experience where, suddenly, you become aware that you are dreaming while still inside the dream?
What did you do with such awareness? Such power? …What would you do with such power and awareness?
…Who’s to say this isn’t a dream right now?
Are we ever not dreaming?
I’m not so sure…
Think about the dreams of your life. The ones you’ve made come true… and the ones you’re working hard to realize in the future.
Think about how your awareness has shifted as your dreams shifted. From dreaming of toys, to tech, to cars, to homes… From dreaming of careers at 6 years old, then 12 years old, then 18 years old, then 28 years old… From dreaming of friends, to girl/boy friends, to spouses, to becoming grandparents… what you’ve dreamt in your mind shaped how you acted in the lucid dream of your reality.
Think now about the power you have at your disposal. To know you’re inside of a lucid dream and you’ve just become aware. Are you gonna spend that time worrying anxiously about whatever you were worrying anxiously about before? Are you going to waste your power sitting powerlessly in front of screens? Are you going to let nightmare-ish surrounding events stop you from living as a hero (if not at the very least to a select few)?
I’m not so sure the magic of consciousness is much different than the magic of dreams. And if we started leaning into that magic a little more… and really utilized the power that comes from that awareness… maybe we’d start living a reality that felt more like a lucid dream.
A student of mine was telling me about a tough situation she was facing.
Her brother-in-law was diagnosed with cancer, had just finished some intense rounds of treatment, got early release from the hospital, and came home to a water-damaged house—which involved all kinds of challenges, not the least of which being her brother-in-law was supposed to be recovering in a clean and sterile environment.
So this student went to the house to help in any way she could and saw her sister break down and start crying—and this was the sister that rarely cried. She was the strong one… she was the rock… she was the one who did the supporting.
…And one of the toughest moments was when she couldn’t even hug her crying sister. She had to socially distance to minimize the spreading of germs—and had to essentially stand there and watch her strong sister breakdown.
…And so what did she do instead?
…She thought about how her sister was very much a “card person”—you know, the type who would send hand-written cards at every excuse of a holiday and celebration to those closest to her.
…And thus came the idea to “card flood” her sister.
She personally messaged 40+ people asking them to write a card to her sister offering their support and kind wishes. And asked if they would send the card by the end of the week. This way, her sister was flooded with a version of support and kind wishes that she could receive… and in a form she deeply resonated with… and could keep close to her heart throughout the entirety of her trying time.
Years ago, I exchanged martial arts private lessons for cooking lessons from a student of mine who was a chef.
I would bike to his restaurant, meet him in the basement, and act as his apprentice for a few hours each week—cutting, caramelizing, mixing, mincing, simmering, and sautéing with his direction.
And on the flip side, I would meet him at the martial arts school, teach him one-on-one lessons in forms, self-defense, and weapons.
This continued weekly-ish for about 6 months.
Fast forward to 2026, and I recently started a subscription to a food + recipe delivery service. They deliver recipes and all the groceries you’ll need for those meals. All you have to do is follow the steps and voila! …Your meals are done within a reasonable timeframe (one that you can pre-select).
…I am learning more from this latter approach than I ever did doing private lessons from a professional chef.
And in retrospect, the big reasons why include: (1) He was preparing meals for 50+ people at a time—so the quantities, portions, pot ware used, etc., was significantly inflated from what I needed to be doing for my one-stomach-self; (2) He was giving me intuitive advice—things based on taste, not recipes… and my palette wasn’t nearly as trained as his; (3) The experience gap was too great—I was simply too much of a beginner to really digest everything he would say.
This is all to say, sometimes you don’t need to learn from the best in a field… in fact, it might serve you (and your wallet) better to learn from those who are just a few steps above where you want to be.