I write 1-minute insights daily. Below are my latest. Like? Enter your email to get updates.
I help busy people do inner work.
I write 1-minute insights daily. Below are my latest. Like? Enter your email to get updates.
This past Saturday was my sister’s last day working at a restaurant she’s been at for about a decade.
Seeing as though that restaurant had served as her work-home of sorts for so long, I saw it as a cause for celebration.
So I invited a bunch of family and friends to join me for a drink and in leaving her a nice tip on this celebratory day—an effort she had no idea about.
To both of our surprise, we had an almost unanimous turnout.
…And to the two-ish people who weren’t able to show, we made plans to have a drink and leave her a nice tip on the celebratory day of her working her first shift at the new place!
The thing about celebratory events… is that you really don’t need much of a cause to have one. In my experience, people love being invited to events… love getting out of their everyday normal… love engaging in celebration—regardless of the reason.
…There’s so much dread and pain and grief and horror and fear being slung at us daily that when we get gifted excitement and joy and positivity and honor and connection—it can feel like a literal cure.
What cause for celebration is present in your life right now?
I have been trying to get a childhood friend of mine to play basketball with my crew and I for over 3 years.
Today… he finally played.
He was rusty, he said.
His shot was off, he said.
His conditioning wasn’t what it used to be, he said.
He couldn’t drive because his shoes were slippery, he said.
He was going to need to sub a lot during the game, he said.
…But you know what he said today that rang louder than anything else mentioned above?
Yes.
He said yes to playing.
He said yes to beginning to get the rust off.
He said yes to starting the process of recalibrating his shot.
He said yes to getting his conditioning back up and getting better shoes and getting to a point where he doesn’t need to sub as much during games.
…He said yes to getting back out of his comfort zone, meeting himself where he was—rust and all, and doing something that’ll help him grow.
Today was the hardest step to take.
It’s down hill from here.
A friend was telling me how he was struggling to find a friend group.
He has friends, he explained.
But only friends he felt he could hang out with separately—as individuals.
If befriending a group of people from those individual contexts isn’t an option (i.e. a work friends group or martial arts friend group)… then what I told him is to find common ground and initiate a low-risk gathering.
For example, is there a sport your various friends all like to play? Initiate and invite them to a pick-up game. At worst? You’ll all play a game you enjoy and can talk about the plays, the rules, the strategy, the cheating, the winning, the losing, the after party…
Or maybe there’s a creative outlet you all fancy? Initiate and invite them to a dance class event. At worst? You’ll all exert energy in a way you enjoy and can talk about the steps, the turns, the how-did-she-do-thats, the wow-did-you-see-thats, the two-left-feet people, and the smooth steppers…
Or maybe you’re more old school and want to try it the way it has happened for thousands of years? Initiate and invite them to a gathering of food or a fire. At worst? You’ll all eat or warm your bodies.
…At best? You’ll all nourish and warm your souls.
What if you started believing that repetition didn’t exist?
Even in—especially in—the moments that seem to repeat themselves day-in and day-out.
Are you waking up again to the same alarm, at the same time, in the same way again? …Or is something different? …Have some things evolved? …Have some things regressed?
Are you seeing the same people at the same times and in the same ways again? …Or are they different? …Has your connection evolved? …Has it regressed?
Are you perceiving your world in the same ways at the same times and in the same ways? …Or it just because your perception is boring? …Or maybe it’s fatigued? …Or maybe it’s lazy?
The thing is: repetition doesn’t exist.
Life is always fresh.
We never step into the same river of reality twice. Both the river and us—the stepper—are constantly changing. Evolving. Regressing. Learning. Unlearning. Absorbing. Releasing. Crashing. Flowing…
The reality is we stop investing into the freshness of our perception so, of course, it goes bad. Spend a little time looking closer, however, and you might start to see that the changes aren’t even tiny… but are profound.
Like that moment when your serious and grave focus at work gets interrupted for something completely goofy and ridiculous… like a child running into your office with flower sunglasses on, a lay around his neck, his shirt off, no shoes, all while laughing hysterically as he tries to escape from mom.
…It ain’t that deep.
Or that moment when you do something completely goofy and ridiculous… like get out of your car and dance foolishly in a parking lot with music blasting because the song that came on is too good not to.. and the person you’re with gives you the same goofy and ridiculous energy back.
…Surround yourself with people who make being you easy.
Or that moment when you sit down to relax after doing something really hard… like show up to the gym or your workout class after an already long and challenging day and still giving it your best effort even though you felt like getting into the car itself required more energy than you had… and feeling accomplished and proud and completely content in doing so.
…Nothing worthwhile comes easily.
What are some simple moments from your recent days and what might those profound truths be for you?
It’s weird.
When I’m stuck, thinking about what to write but can’t think of anything good to say… a word will whisper itself into my mind.
Like a mantra of sorts. A focal point for my awareness. A prompt from my meandering muse.
And it’s never at the outset. Only after I’ve struggled for a bit. Maybe 15 – 30 minutes into a good staring at the blank page session that it’ll suddenly appear…
Unprompted. Unpracticed. And weirdly unconscious.
“…Build.”
For years, this word speaks itself into existence in my mind.
And to this day, I’m not quite sure why or where it comes from.
But what I choose to believe is that whispers that come from somewhere deep, somewhere unconscious… are oftentimes far more powerful, and carry much more weight than anything the conscious is screaming, spiraling, and yapping about in the forefront.
Who’s more rich:
Worth meditating on in your life: If becoming rich in money is at the expense of any of the former ideas—I’m not so sure the end result is more rich.