I write 1-minute insights daily. Below are my latest. Like? Enter your email to get updates.
I help busy people do inner work.
I write 1-minute insights daily. Below are my latest. Like? Enter your email to get updates.
This past weekend, 60 martial arts students from the martial arts organization I teach at competed in an out-of-state tournament.
One of our goals was to get the whole team together for a celebratory dinner when it was over.
The reservation we were looking to make was for 80ish on a Saturday night—so you can imagine the types of responses we got when we inquired.
Some restaurants flat out denied us. Some said they don’t take reservations and to just show up—that they think it’d be alright. Some said yes, but we wouldn’t be able to sit together.
All of these answers are completely understandable. It’s an over-the-top request.
But where we ended up going won our business because they answered differently. Not only did they answer with a confident “Yes,” but they answered with gratitude.
…And not only that, but once we arrived, they delivered.
…And not only that, but the manager bought my instructor and I drinks and gave me a discount on my bill.
…And he kept expressing his gratitude throughout the night over and over again.
It made me feel like we made the right choice… like we formed a bond/connection… like I’d like to take the squad—my business—back there next year.
And not because of anything major he did. We brought him thousands of dollars in business… and he comped my instructor and I less than a hundred dollars in drinks/credit…
It was the gratitude that made all the difference.
Be careful when somebody asks you out for a drink…you might stay out past your bedtime, spend some hard earned money, and lose sleep.
…But what you might gain, however, is worth considering.
Envy not the person who has what you don’t have or who has gone where you haven’t gone…
Envy the person who thinks not of what they don’t have or where they haven’t gone…
…And instead focuses solely on what’s here, what’s now, and where they have arrived.
For joy and gratitude in the current step is an excellent strategy for evoking more of the same in the next step. And the step after that.
And so too for the person who steps with envy. It only evokes more of the same. No matter how much you acquire or how many places you’ve gone.
Your body adapts to the demands of its environment.
Sit at a desk all day, take the elevator, use valet, consume passive entertainment on the couch, skip your workouts… and what you’ll effectively be telling your body is: all of that beautiful life energy you gifted me… isn’t needed.
And your body will reduce how much it produces in the future. Until you get to the point where doing even the most basic of tasks is exhausting.
Do the opposite and use it all up though? And your body will find ways to not only produce more, but increase your future stores.
The people with the most energy aren’t the ones who have saved their energy the most… they’re the ones who have used it up most consistently.
Remember this when you’re on the fence about showing up to your workout or playing with your kids outside or going for a walk around the block… because you’re tired.
…Yes, there’s a line that needs to be honored and rest could very well be the better decision if you’re truly fatigued.
But remember that what you agree to as being your energetic limit is what your body will adapt to from there. And if you’re being dishonest with yourself, then your energy stores will iteratively shrink. And if you’re being honest, then they’ll iteratively grow.
And why lie to yourself about something that can so drastically affect your life? Life energy is one of the ultimate life currencies… and the good news is that you get to spend all that your gifted each day and you’ll be fully replenished, plus some, the next!
Hope you have an exhausting day ;)
If I think too much about who’s on my email list, I have a really hard time settling on a topic.
Should I write for the parents?
Should I lean more towards business casual or drinking buddy language?
Should I bear in mind the people I’ve met through martial arts or music or social media or education or travel?
But then I come back to my mission statement: I help busy people do inner work.
…And I can focus again. Because I’m not writing for any one person on my list. In fact, I’m not even writing for the entirety of the people on my list.
…I’m writing for me. Because I’m busy. And I need to keep finding ways to do inner work.
Because I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: daily writing that’s inner work based is one of the best things I’ve ever done for my mental health, healing, and personal growth.
And if I can help some of the other busy people out there via the work I’m doing for myself… or help them build a practice that’ll guide them forward in the same way my practice has guided me… then that’s a pretty incredible bonus.
…It’s an event where people come together and celebrate—in a way most appropriate for the person—a life lived.
We celebrate this life because it’s a miracle it ever even happened—against odds in the trillions to one ballpark (that’s trillions with a “t”). We celebrate this life because of the impact it had on ours—one that helped shape our character and identity as we know it, in both the biggest and tiniest of ways. We celebrate this life because of the impact it had on others—an impact which likely rippled further out into the world than they or we could ever truly know.
And yes, we mourn the loss because the above has come to an end.
…But, does it though?
What if the celebration of life event is an exercise in keeping the person’s impact alive?
What if we could carry the best of that person’s legacy with us and continue to ripple it forward into the lives of others?
What if the person we lost was a byproduct of hundreds of thousands of people’s legacies who came before… all totaling up to the person we loved so dearly?
And what if by celebrating them not only at the event, but regularly, you’re helping total up the character and identity of those around into something millions of others will eventually come to appreciate and love so dearly?
Do you realize that, in an incalculable number of ways, you’re living a life of already answered prayers?
Think about it.
How many times were you terribly sick and prayed for health?
How many times have you feared for your life and saw things through to the other side?
How many times have you prayed for good news and gotten it?
How many times was a deal made where if the universe/higher power delivered “A,” you would offer back, “B”—and the universe delivered?
How many times have you prayed for a person? To heal? To find their way? To like you? And it came true?
…And how many times have we immediately moved on with our lives after an answered prayer… filling the universe only with multiplied additional prayers rather than even an ounce of gratitude?
Maybe one of the reasons we feel like life is unfair, is because for every one answered prayer, we ask for ten additional prayers to be answered… and we quickly forget about all that has already been fulfilled.
…But if you flipped that formula, and responded with 10 times the gratitude for every one answered prayer, maybe life being unfair wouldn’t be so bad after all.