All it takes is one text.
To go from same old… to family movie night, at the theater, with four generations, dinner afterwards, and some high quality space to simply catch up and enjoy each other’s company.
I wasn’t the one who sent it.
But, to the person who did, thank you.
…Don’t ever forget how easy it is to be that person.
P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.
If you’re looking to make new connections, think not only about new things you can do, but things you can do that have frequency associated with them.
It’s significantly more difficult to make a new connection, who you can stay connected with for an ongoing period of time, after only one meeting/ interaction.
It becomes increasingly easier to make that ongoing connection with each additional meeting/interaction opportunity you have with them.
Think about the connections you have in your life right now. How many of them did you meet just once and then got their contact info and then started hanging out with? …And how many of them did you meet through school or work or a sport or a hobby—something that had a frequency associated with it?
I’m willing to bet most of your friends are from the latter group.
And so, moving forward, if you’re feeling lonely and/or like you want to add some new connections to your life, think about what you can add to your schedule that has an ongoing frequency that also brings a reoccurring group of people to it.
Things like:
And stop beating yourself up about not making new connections from things like:
…And as an added bonus, remember that the best approach, paradoxically, is to go into these opportunities for connection with the intention of connecting better with yourself. Do things that you’re excited to do; that you look forward to doing; that you want to tell people about…
…The connection(s) will almost always take care of itself/themselves.
Today, I caught one of my martial arts kids praising and saying hello/goodbye to other kids by name, completely unprompted.
“Hi, Ben!”
“Arm Shake?”
“Great job today, Alkalifah!”
“High 5!”
“See you later, Jackson.”
While this doesn’t sound like anything profound, what I usually see are kids completely consumed in their own worlds. Playing on screens, fixing their clothes, playing with toys, asking parents for money, picking out things they want in the pro-shop, etc.
…Which, if I’m being honest, is what I see from many (most) adults, too.
For a student to come in so present minded, and to have such an outward attention to the people in his environment, and to take the time to acknowledge them by name and say nice things is nothing short of profound if you ask me.
And if that’s something more of us adults could do, too, I’d say that’d be a pretty remarkable thing worth aiming for and celebrating as well.
Two things that make tough times easier are 1) connections and 2) tough spirit.
Some of the deepest and truest connections are formed during tough times. And it’s worth remembering that when people are going through tough times—while it may be tough to be there to support them because of not knowing what to say or awkwardness or free flowing emotions—that’s precisely when connections are most prone to deep bonding.
So, when someone is in need, even if they’re not an immediate friend or even are somebody who’s on the outer banks of your circle of connection—reach out in spite of the resistance you might feel. You just might end up being the synchronicity or guardian angel they’ve been hoping for.
…And from my experience—the more you’ve been a guardian angel for others, the more guardian angels you tend to have yourself.
And as far as tough spirits go… we build those by doing tough things. This means we know what it’s like be utterly exhausted and still push forward. We know what it’s like to be sick or in pain and still find a way. We know what it’s like to stare an obstacle in the face, feel the fear, and own the fear by doing the damn thing anyway.
Not in a dumb way, of course. But, in the smartest way(s) possible.
I refuse
To look for love
Where everybody is told
Love will be
Love by everybody
Feels to be
Backwards, shallow, gray
Too screen-y for me
I see love
Dancing the night
Drowning in books
Drinking nature’s cup
Love by me
Is a love made without me
A love minus a swipe
A love that just so happened to be
P.s. You can read my other poems here.
If I think about it
Carefully enough
I can make my heart skip
A beat or two
From replaying times
I was carelessly
With you
A beat or two
Compared to a year or two
Of skipped beats
And skipped stones
And skipped feet
Feels wildly inadequate
Yet fully true
And while thinking of you
Carefully enough
Happens less and less often
There’s a rhythm
My feet and heart once knew
Now my barrier of entry
No skips…
…It’s not you.
P.s. You can read my other poems here.
How tragic
for someone
who would’ve loved
the unfiltered
uncompromised
untainted
version of you
to meet
a version
filtered, compromised, tainted
all because
you were busy
trying to fit in
trying to find courage
trying to be…
someone else.
P.s. You can read my other poems here.