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Category: Understanding Love

The Measure of Your Love

Published on April 3, 2024

I think love can most accurately be measured in moments of presence.

Because moments spent thinking of the past or spent spaced out and imagining the future aren’t moments you can also overflow in the now.

The moment your mind leaves the now… your love leaves with you.

Which isn’t to say we should never visit the past—there’s a time and a place for that.

And it isn’t to say you should never visit the future—how else can you chart out your life’s path?

It’s merely to say, the measure of your love isn’t equal to the total time spent with another person any more than it’s the measure of the total time you’ve spent with yourself.

Those who measure highest in self-love are the ones who have spent the most time in presence with themselves—working through the heavy, turbulent, crap times as much as they might’ve spent soaking in the more light, joyful, easy times. And so it is for those who measure the highest in joint love, too.

…If you’re looking for love, looking to rekindle a love, or looking to deepen your current love, I’d say, start with here.

Inner work prompt: Your turn. How do you think love can most accurately be measured?

Love; In A Moment [Poem]

Published on April 2, 2024

I had everything
I ever wanted
In a moment

Nothing about past
A subtracted future
Like meditation—times three

I had everything
I ever wanted
In a moment

Nothing about me
A subtracted identity
Just we; plus perceived

I had everything
I ever wanted
In a moment

Nothing about weather
A subtracted monotony
Just adventure; every degree

I had everything
I ever wanted
In a moment

Until I didn’t
Past, future colliding
Weather, monotony, past, me…

I had everything
I ever wanted
In a moment

Until that one
Life subtraction—you
Set the rest… free

P.s. You can read my other poems here.

Easter Eggs

Published on March 26, 2024

One of my ex-employees (who went on to become a nurse) used to chronically clean and organize when she didn’t have anything to do.

…I can’t tell you how much I miss that small, big gift that she used to give.

In a world where people typically do what they have to do out of obligation (and not much more)… be the atypical outlier who gives away little Easter Eggs along the way.

The work is the work is the work… and doing the work isn’t what makes you indispensable / memorable… it’s the gifts you give along the way that do that.

P.s. If you enjoy these a.m. Easter Eggs, you can support their continued production here :)

Reduce Screen Time By Changing Your Downtime App

Published on March 21, 2024

When given the chance to casually browse social media, what I’m recognizing in myself is that the time I’ll ultimately spend browsing is NOT created equally based on which app I choose.

In other words, if I have a pocket of time to go on my phone, one app can lead me to spend significantly more time than a different one. In my case, choosing FB or IG generally leads to far more media consumption than if I chose X or YT.

…And it’s not like my daily levels of willpower/self-discipline are radically changing. I suspect it has to do with the app’s algorithms and the way I interact with the apps. On FB and IG, I casually browse until I get sucked into one of those never ending reel rabbit holes. And let me be the first to admit, they’re damn addicting.

On X and YT, it’s just one video at a time. And I feel like I have a better grip on who/what I watch and can get closure with clear stops to the end of videos.

Since learning this about myself, I’ve turned insight into action and made this a part of my digital media consumption strategy. 95% of the time now, when I have a pocket of time, I’ll choose to browse X or YT because I know it’ll lead to less total consumption.

Now I pass the question off to you: which app do you feel sucks the most time from your day(s)? Do you feel like the time spent is equal regardless of the app? Or do you feel like it’s disproportionate like me?

P.s. The Screen Time widget helped me discover this.

Share Care (Before It’s Too Late)

Published on March 20, 2024

…That moment when the person you were thinking about texting—to send warmth, good vibes, and just the notion that you were thinking about them—texts you first for some practical reason and the opportunity to surprise them with the above disappears right before your eyes.

This happened to me this morning and it was a good reminder to just send the damn text—especially the warm, vibe-y, caring “just because” ones—as close to the original thought as you can… because you just never know when the opportunity to do so will disappear.

P.s. I started uploading quotes from The Midnight Library by Matt Haig to MoveMe Quotes. If you’d like to read along, you can get the book here and/or you can read the insights I upload for free here.

On Being The One Who Texts First

Published on March 17, 2024

All it takes is one text.

To go from same old… to family movie night, at the theater, with four generations, dinner afterwards, and some high quality space to simply catch up and enjoy each other’s company.

I wasn’t the one who sent it.

But, to the person who did, thank you.

…Don’t ever forget how easy it is to be that person.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

Adding Frequency For (Better) Connection(s)

Published on March 10, 2024

If you’re looking to make new connections, think not only about new things you can do, but things you can do that have frequency associated with them.

It’s significantly more difficult to make a new connection, who you can stay connected with for an ongoing period of time, after only one meeting/ interaction.

It becomes increasingly easier to make that ongoing connection with each additional meeting/interaction opportunity you have with them.

Think about the connections you have in your life right now. How many of them did you meet just once and then got their contact info and then started hanging out with? …And how many of them did you meet through school or work or a sport or a hobby—something that had a frequency associated with it?

I’m willing to bet most of your friends are from the latter group.

And so, moving forward, if you’re feeling lonely and/or like you want to add some new connections to your life, think about what you can add to your schedule that has an ongoing frequency that also brings a reoccurring group of people to it.

Things like:

  • Sport Leagues
  • Book Clubs
  • Poetry Reading Series
  • Craft Workshops
  • Skill Building Classes
  • And so on…

And stop beating yourself up about not making new connections from things like:

  • Bars
  • Clubs
  • Concerts
  • Hikes
  • Festivals
  • And so on…

…And as an added bonus, remember that the best approach, paradoxically, is to go into these opportunities for connection with the intention of connecting better with yourself. Do things that you’re excited to do; that you look forward to doing; that you want to tell people about…

…The connection(s) will almost always take care of itself/themselves.