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Category: Understanding Love

You Different [Poem]

Published on April 27, 2026

Why can’t I picture your face?
After I just pictured
A life with you

You had exquisite style
Everything intentional
And not one uninteresting thing about you

You were rockin’ this messy, put-together look
Half part class, and a wild second half
Which, woven together, made you different

It’s all still so clear
And the impression you made
Is still pressed upon the pillow of my mind

But your face…
Gone so completely
Like some kind of payback

For walking away too quickly
For not looking more carefully
At every crevice and feature

For not looking more intentionally
Through your windows
Into the home

…I only got to imagine us warming.

P.s. You can read my other poems here.

A Beautiful Quilting Story from Imani Perry

Published on April 25, 2026

I had the distinct privilege of listening to a live presentation from Imani Perry last night.

And one of the stories she shared stuck with me.

Her grandmother used to gather with friends to quilt.

Each woman would start at a different point of a single quilt, however, and work together until the one was completed.

When it was, they would give it to the woman who needed it the most. Maybe because one just gave birth or another was struggling with bills or whatever.

And I love this idea because it does so much more than make and gift a quilt to a woman who needs it… it brings people together for a common cause (purpose), it acts as a means for conversation (connection), and brings a healing element into the occasion because each woman gets to share her struggles, her challenges, her adversities… and presumably create an invaluable opportunity for everybody else to relate and reciprocate in deeply fulfilling way(s).

…How beautiful.

Is there something like this you could create in your life?

The Inner Work Continues

Published on April 9, 2026

“I just wanted to say I love your energy.”
“The way you danced and smiled and were so present with everything you did… it was amazing.”
“Thank you for all of that and I hope you have a great day.”

…But I hesitated.

Still got more inner work to do.

On Seeking vs Attracting

Published on April 7, 2026

My aunt has this young, 1-year-old black cat.

She’s curious and playful, but more often than not, uninvolved and off doing her own thing.

My aunt and cousins would call for her, play with toys to attract her, and try to entertain her frequently throughout the visit. And she would usually oblige for a few minutes… but then would carry on her way and unassumingly find something else to do.

I’m allergic to cats so I didn’t give forth that same kind of energy.

Well on the last night of my visit to my aunt’s house, I was sitting in meditation after everybody else had gone to sleep when suddenly, I hear the cat poking around. I opened my eyes and there she was, staring straight at me from the staircase.

It was strange because even when I was blowing her face trying to get a rise out of her, it felt like she was looking through me… or thinking carefully about something else while her eyes rested in my direction… never at me.

And yet… on this last night… as I sat there in a crossed-legged meditation position… she stared me down… unwaveringly… intensely… deliberately… and approached me slowly… slowly… until she was directly by my side… on the couch where I sat… sniffing… eyeing… evaluating…

…Until she eventually settled onto her legs, swallowing them up into her own meditation position of sorts, and closed her eyes.

It was strange that in that moment when I was still… un-seeking… and unassuming in a way myself… that it attracted the very cat that was being pursued… sought out… who seemed to have spent most of the weekend fleeing…

“Things”—A Game To Create Organic Connection

Published on April 5, 2026

The game is simple.

Make up and share an unfinished story with a few folks.

You might say… “It was late at night and I heard a loud, scary noise come from the basement… I decided to investigate and when I walked down the stairs I found…”

Then everybody writes a short conclusion to the story on a sticky note or small piece of paper and hands it anonymously to the person who began it.

After each is read out loud, the reader picks which conclusion they like the best and whoever authored it, wins a point.

The game continues until a certain score is reached or it reaches its natural conclusion.

The best part about the game is that it creates an ending to a story from a day that feels unfinished…

P.s. Credit for this game goes to my student, Fatou.

Can’t Make Dinner

Published on April 5, 2026

A friend invited me over for Easter dinner—featuring vegan main dishes and all.

After responding with a bunch of gratitude, I realized it wouldn’t work out because I would be out of town.

Rather than say, “Sorry, I’m gonna be out of town and can’t make it. Thanks though!”

I took a little extra time and wrote:

“Dear V,

Matt here. Writing to you this afternoon to inform you, with regret, that I will be unable to attend your, what’s sure to be off-the-effin-chain, Easter dinner gathering. I apologize for any additional forethought and work that may have gone into your thinking/preparation for this event with my vegan butt in mind. See what happened is, my vegan butt will be planted in a chair at my aunties in Philly at, more than likely, the same time you and your amazing guests will be planted in theirs in Buffalo. Flights back are out of the question because I am my mom and grandma’s chauffeur home on Monday. I hate to back out of a good time offer, but twas necessary in this case. Please accept my apology and keep me in mind for future threats of potential good times.

Thank yew.”

To be clear, I’m not recommending you reply like this to everything you need to reply to.

However, every now and again, or whenever you think to do it, it’s never a bad thing to do.

People notice the effort. They appreciate the energy. And it becomes a memory that gets talked about over and over and over again.

…All from a 5-minute investment.

And don’t think even for a second that you “don’t have that kind of time.”

Hot N Cold

Published on March 31, 2026

I saw some of the best DJs in the entire world play music this past weekend.

And yet… one of my favorite moments was the last night when a friend was driving a group of us back to an Airbnb and right before we went inside… Katy Perry’s “Hot N Cold” came on the car’s stereo…

And I told everybody to wait… to stop… that we couldn’t go in until we sang it as LOUD AS WE COULD.

…And we cranked it all the way up and sang our little hearts out.

This is the energy I was trying to lead with all weekend: we can’t wait for the event to give us the energy… we have to give the energy to the event.

…And that happens long after the event ends too.