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Category: Understanding Love

You Are The Standard And The Throttle

Published on February 13, 2026

If it’s true you can only ever meet people as deeply as they’ve met themselves…

Then understand that you are both the standard and the throttle of your relationships.

You’re the standard because how deeply you’re showing up is how deeply you’d like the people you meet to show up.

You’re the throttle because if the person you meet shows up with a deeper understanding, then it won’t go as deeply as they might like to go.

If you crave more depth in your relationships… always reinvest that energy back into yourself and your inner work.

It doesn’t take long for people to gauge an estimation of the depth to which the people they’re getting to know have travelled…

My recommendation is to move quickly with getting to know more and more people…

And move more and more slowly with the ones who match or challenge your standard.

A Depth Multiplying Perspective

Published on February 5, 2026

I’m going to a music show this weekend.

…And I’m going to meet people I’m never going to meet again thereafter.

It’s a thought I have found myself ruminating on after past shows and I’m going into this weekend with it fully in the forefront this time.

…And it mixes in this sentimental sadness with the already anticipatory excitement—which makes it a depth multiplier if you will.

It makes each glance… each interaction… each contact… a little more meaningful, intentional, and/or deliberate.

It lays a foundation for more magic to occur. Because it can sometimes happen serendipitously… where two paths cross, magic occurs, and then they diverge for the rest of time. And what makes the interaction magic is how something about it also stays with you for the rest of time.

Maybe a look… maybe a line… maybe a touch…

Something that was maybe meant to stay. Something that maybe wasn’t meant to end. Something that formulated the whole reason for the paths to have diverged in the first place.

I’m not sure I believe in destiny more than I believe in retrospective sensemaking.

But one thing is for sure… I believe in the magic of connection. Even the kind that can happen in one singular life interaction. Especially when the culture of the environment is right… and it attracts the right kind of people… and the right aura and energy is being emitted.

Go into these moments with your senses open wide. Be present. Be courageous.

All it takes is the magic of one moment to alter the direction of the rest of a life—theirs or yours.

A Blinding Love Will Follow [Poem]

Published on January 24, 2026

Love is blinding
It’s why we smother, cling, obsess
Awareness first
So we can heal, unlearn, relearn
Build a warm nest
One with no bars, traps, or ceilings
Just attraction, yearning, desire to fly back
Direct the love you want so badly inward
Never underestimate the size of an act
Every line written, conversation had, and insight scavenged
Every twig, piece of bark, and leaf neatly intertwined and stacked

P.s. You can read my other poems here.

Business As Usual

Published on January 11, 2026

At dinner tonight celebrating my step mom’s 60th birthday, I witnessed an adorable moment.

It was my step mom’s brother and his wife’s turn to order from the menu.

The waiter asked the wife what she’d like, and just as she realized she had forgotten, the husband ordered what she wanted for her.

The waiter then turned to the husband and asked him what he’d like, and just as he realized he had forgotten, the wife ordered what he wanted for him.

…The best part?

Neither of them thought anything of it. Didn’t so much as smirk or make a single remark.

Just selfless loving, careful listening, intimate partner understanding—business as usual—kind of stuff.

I’m Coming Back To Social Media?

Published on January 5, 2026

The first time I ever opened up TikTok, I blinked and 2 hours of my life was gone.

I deleted the app.

A few years later and… every. single. app. is. the. same.

I open up Instagram, blink, 2 hours gone.

I open up Facebook, blink, 2 hours gone.

I open up YouTube, blink, 2 hours gone.

Besides that, X feels like a toxic cesspool and Linkedin feels too business-y for me.

None of it feels aligned.

Which is why I haven’t posted to social media in as long as I have. I focus my energy on posting to this blog and have been stubbornly holding back my creative inclinations to post to social media until I found a platform that prioritized content distribution differently..

Not that there’s anything inherently wrong with short video… I just want to blink and find myself still in the same moment… surrounded by words, artistic images, and intriguing dialog—not eyeballs deep down rabbit holes I never asked to be sucked down.

And a new space I’m dipping my big toe into for 2026 is Substack. It feels like a space that finally doesn’t prioritize video shorts but rather prioritizes the written word.

Which is noteworthy because different primary content medium platforms attract different audiences. And a platform that prioritizes actively reading the written word over passive video consumption… is going to attract a much different kind of user.

One that’s maybe more intentional… more thoughtful… more engaged and ready to connect in more authentic ways…

Why? …Because it’s a more demanding and difficult medium to consume.

Which is the point.

Which is where I think my people will be.

Come check it out…?

Visiting “Mama Hogan”

Published on December 26, 2025

A childhood friend of mine, who I hadn’t seen or really even spoken to in 15+ years, FaceTimed me yesterday…

…From my mom’s house.

…With my mom!

He said when he got into town, before he did anything else, he wanted to swing by “Mama Hogan’s” house… and could only remember that the street she lived on started with an “L” and that it had a giant tree on the front lawn.

…Well his memory served him well because he found the house, rang the doorbell, and ended up chatting with her for nearly two hours.

…Like it hadn’t even been 15 days.

It was the highlight of both my mom and my’s holiday. And I share it because it was such an inspiring effort—-especially after having lived out of town for 15+ years.

This is the kind of effort that people remember. This is the kind of effort that makes “real ones.” This is the kind of effort that cements friendships, memories, and legacies.

…This is the kind of effort our modern culture so desperately needs.

Boundaries Like Laws

Published on December 22, 2025

It would be nice if you could set a boundary once and have it be as good as law.

But it’s worth remembering that even laws need to be monitored, patrolled, and enforced.

The strength of the boundary doesn’t come from the tone of your voice the one time you set it… or in the size of the intentions you have behind it… or in the seriousness of your body language when you talk about it.

The strength of the boundary comes from the strength of the enforcement of said boundary.

For example, driving 5 miles per hour over the speed limit will rarely get you a speeding ticket—it’s rarely enforced. But, running a red light? You’ll almost always get ticketed for. The latter is enforced significantly more than the former.

Now think about how this applies to the boundaries you’re trying to establish and maintain in your life. Are you setting 5 miles per hour over the speed limit boundaries that are only enforced… never? Or are you setting running a red light boundaries that are enforced every time. Think about the boundaries you’re trying to establish with yourself… your loved ones… your co-workers… etc…

People (you included) don’t respond to the announcements… they respond to the level of the enforcement.