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Category: Understanding Love

Don’t Think It’s Anything But Fragile

Published on July 12, 2024

With the push of a button, someone from somewhere in the world can delete my entire online legacy.

Every post I’ve ever written…

Every idea I’ve ever shared…

Every interaction I’ve ever had…

…Gone.

With the push of one singular button.

It’s amazing to me how much of my life’s work is in as fragile of a state as that.

And yet… so it is with each of our lives.

With a single wrong turn, or a brief moment of disregard, or even the smallest of accidents… everything can be taken from us.

Don’t think that everything we have in life is anything BUT fragile.

It all is. And if we remember to treat it as such, maybe we’ll be a little more careful… and present… and grateful.

For it’s the very fact that it’s fragile that makes it all worth it.

P.s. This is my post from Thursday, July 11th.

Important Reminders For Jugglers

Published on July 2, 2024

Some reminders from my friend, Nat, to help you along your way:

  • “Your inner doom & gloom thoughts and feelings have no power over you unless you give it away.”
  • “It’s possible to make mistakes and still be accepted and valued for who you are.”
  • “It’s also possible to not be at your best and still make an impact.”

In the world of my career, there is no “done.”

There is always something else that either needs to be fixed, needs to be done, or needs to be done better. It’s a constant juggling act where there are many balls in the air… and the moment you start focusing too much on one, the other(s) start to drop. And when you shift your focus to the dropped ones, the ones you were focused on before start to drop. And so on.

…Maybe you can relate?

Nat’s reminders above are powerful ones and shouldn’t be taken lightly.

…Yes, keep improving your juggling techniques and awareness.

…Yes, take your work seriously.

…Yes, do the best you can.

But, also remember to give yourself some grace. Remember that you’re imperfect and are doing the best you can. Remember that you can make mistakes and still make a difference.

…Remember that your mental health is more important than your work. And the more you take care of yourself, the better you’ll be at juggling.

P.s. Nat also does resistance release sessions to facilitate healing self-sabotage tendencies. More on that here.

Hometown Exploration

Published on July 1, 2024

I’m going to a martial arts conference this weekend to learn from some of the best martial artists, martial arts school owners, and associated like-minded people in my industry.

A question I’ve been reflecting on to prepare is, “How can I optimize my time there?”

I’ve been thinking about how I can maximize the number of sessions I take… the number of people I might meet… the number of opportunities I might capitalize on and uncover…

And it got me thinking…

…Why don’t I (we) do this for our everyday life more often?

At least for me… I can’t think of the last time I sat down and asked myself, “How can I optimize my time here, in my hometown, this weekend?”

Granted, most of the time all I want to do is nothing (lol).

But, every now and again, I think it’d be well worth the effort to look at our own hometown with fresh eyes… as though we were only visiting for one weekend and wanted to soak up as much of the area as possible.

Inner Work Prompt: Imagine friends were coming to visit your hometown for one weekend and they asked if you would give them the optimized experience. What kind of itinerary would you prepare? Why not do that for yourself and your own family?

Simplify People Gatherings

Published on June 23, 2024

Don’t complicate people gatherings.

Time… place… a thing or two to do…

And let the magical depth of our incomprehensible existences express themselves and connect (once again) for a while.

So much of the loneliness we feel can be solved by simplifying our formula.

Inner Work Prompt: What’s a problem in your life that’s being made worse by complication? How can you simplify your approach?

Formula For Conversation Confidence

Published on May 27, 2024

Oftentimes I’ll wonder to myself, “What would we even talk about?” as I think about the prospect of getting coffee or lunch with one person or another.

It can feel daunting… the idea of filling an hour or two with conversation.

And yet, it never ceases to amaze me at how seamless it goes when you have the right mix of curiosity + vulnerability/transparency + time apart.

Take that formula with you everywhere you go and I suspect you’ll find that an hour or two often isn’t enough.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

Where Inconvenience and Love Cross

Published on May 19, 2024

This quote has been running through my mind over the past few days—especially as I reflected on that last night with Stella:

“…I talked about how love was an action, an instinct, a response roused by unplanned moments and small gestures, an inconvenience in someone else’s favor.”

Michelle Zauner, Crying in H Mart (Page 143)

I’ve thought about love a lot and have tried to define it before.

But, when it comes to love that is pointed towards another or love that is shared… I think those six words sum it up beautifully: “…An inconvenience in someone else’s favor.”

Remember this the next time your loved ones ask you for a favor that’s inconvenient with your schedule… or when you’re feeling “too busy” to plan your next outing or date… or when they’re going through a hard time and you’re traveling or away…

…It’s precisely the inconvenience that makes a task or act special.

…An action, instinctual response, or small gesture that would’ve been easier for you not to do because of the other things you’ve gotta do (for you), but did anyway because of what it meant to the other person (which shows what the other person means to you).

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week here.

Final Act Of Love

Published on May 18, 2024

It started with pacing. An unusual restlessness. One that didn’t cease—which usually does cease—with more potty time.

Shortly thereafter, she started to excessively drool and dry heave.

Having zero suspicion of any health problems or complications, I figured she ate something she shouldn’t have in the backyard and needed to hurl it up to feel better.

It was already well into the night at this point so I decided to try and sleep and let her get out what she had to get out, in whatever way she had to do that, and I would deal with it—whatever “it” was—in the morning.

And eventually, after more pacing, dry heaving, and slobbery drooling… she laid down.

…It wasn’t until the next day that I found out she had GDV or bloat—a life-threatening condition that occurs when a dog’s stomach twists and fills with gas—and that she was likely in extreme discomfort and distress.

…And yet, she laid down.

I don’t think she slept that entire night. I think she laid down, not because she finally wasn’t restless or nauseous anymore—I think the level of pain/discomfort only got worse throughout the night—but because she saw I was trying to sleep.

…And she didn’t want to disrupt or inconvenience me any further.

It was a final act of love.

One I tried so f*cking hard to return when, in addition to GDV, a large tumor was found in her side, and I gave her the softest, most comfortable landing I could possibly conceive.