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Category: Meaningful Connection

Waking Up Blanketed In Legacy

Published on October 12, 2025

I visited a friend this past weekend who has Alzheimers.

It was a bit of a shock to show up, announce his name, and give him a hug only for him to stare blankly back at me and ask me who I was.

…Granted, we’ve only spent three Burning Mans together as a part of the same, larger camp, which maybe amounts to 15-25 interactions buried inside a rich and long-lived life… but still… we have some rock-star memories together.

And this was coming from a once very sharp guy.

…He was an educator.

…He was a pilot.

…He built his own home from the ground up.

…He was incredibly well read.

…He had remarkable taste and skill in the arts.

And so when he asked me who I was… or when he couldn’t remember the word for “wood”… or when he asked what “cantaloupe” was—as he finished eating it off his bagel (yes, you read that right)… it was heartbreaking.

And yet…

…As I looked around his home—the one he built from the ground up—and felt the warmth that radiated not only from the loving visitors that shared his space for the weekend—but from the decades of love that was proudly featured in every available space, that was crafted under each step and met with each touch, that was baked into every possession and crevice and quirky detail…

…It made me feel better.

…Knowing that when he forgets—at least he’s blanketed with evidence of a love and legacy many of us would kill to have lived and remembered even just once.

“It’s A Long Story…”

Published on September 18, 2025

One night, while dancing hysterically at Burning Man, three others who were dancing hysterically joined me—right in the middle of a massive crowd in front of an incredible DJ set.

In the heat of this incredible exchange, we all got to talking and one of these dancers mentioned that she was having a really emotional burn. And when I asked her why, she said it was a long story.

I told her to take her time and not to shorten it at all.

A little taken aback, she paused, looked at me to gather more information, visibly relaxed once she saw I was serious, and then leaned towards me and began…

And for the next few minutes, she told me about how one of her campmates had a miscarriage at burning man a few years ago… and how they managed to revive the baby… and how later that week… after the indescribable wave of emotions… the baby passed.

…And how deeply it effected everybody in the camp.

At the end of the story, she looked me dead in the eye, into what felt like my soul, and thanked me for saying what I said and holding the space for her to share that story.

I share this to serve as a reminder that “It’s a long story” is often a key that opens up deeper layers of a person, and to not miss your chance to open that door—if you feel like it’s appropriate—when it’s presented to you.

12 Ways To Connect With The Core Of A Person (First)

Published on September 4, 2025

As a continuation from yesterday’s post, here are some ways you might be able to connect with the core of a person first in a world that prioritizes social hierarchy and status: (in no particular order):

  • Give more gifts… think less in terms of transactions.
  • Do more with art… do less with passive entertainment.
  • Go where love goes (i.e. music festivals), not where hate goes (i.e. news / media).
  • Less money on luxury and name brand… more money on experience and worldly travel.
  • Don’t shy away from hard tasks/situations/questions… easy only ever reveals the superficial.
  • Less time fighting the other national political side… more time volunteering at the local soup kitchen.
  • Ask better questions: “What are your political beliefs?” vs “What charities do you love to support?”
  • Rather than joining clubs based on status, (i.e. country clubs) join clubs that have nothing to do with status.
  • “What do you do for a living?” Rather than job title/company/history/trajectory… try reason/feeling/vision/dream.
  • Do more alone… together requires compromise and while there’s nothing wrong with that, there IS something wrong with never following your uncompromised soul.
  • Take on a project and team up with people who are ready/willing to help problem solve… distance yourself from people who exacerbate problems and problem compile.
  • And maybe most important, do the inner work and get to know who YOU ARE at your core first… because we can only ever meet people as deeply as we’ve met ourselves.

Inner work prompt: What would somebody have to do to connect with the core of who you are? How might they act? What might they say? Where might they be? …What situations/circumstances/experiences bring out the vulnerable, raw, real you?

The Magic Of Meeting The Core Of A Person First

Published on September 3, 2025

At Burning Man, you don’t meet people from their social hierarchy position first… you meet them from their character position first.

…And this is no small difference.

In everyday life, we meet people in our neighborhoods (socio-economic position), we know pretty clearly where people stand in school (educational position), ask usually first what people do for a living and where they work (career position)—if we don’t know already…

And all of these aspects of our identity act as layers that surround the core of who we really are.

It isn’t until a person removes their professional persona; can eliminate from their mind any judgments or predispositions they have about different status indicators, educational backgrounds, political beliefs, and so on; and can meet another person honestly where they are… that the real magic of connection happens.

See, peeling back these layers of identity and trying to unlearn these conditioned judgements takes tremendous inner work.

But flipping the script and meeting people BEFORE any of this information is ever known… and building art, surviving harsh weather conditions, creating gifts and offering help to others, problem solving, and going out to have a good time with them…

Introduces you to the core person without any peeling back… without any unlearning…

…Are they helpful? Kind? Hard working? Loving? Patient? Fun?

…Or are they the opposite?

I know not everybody has gone to or will go to Burning Man to experience this.

But it’s worth reflecting on: how can I/we show up with a different intention that seeks to connect with the core of a person BEFORE we cover them up in layers of hierarchical social position?

Your Lover Is A Butterfly

Published on August 15, 2025

Your lover—or the one whom you want to be your lover—is a butterfly.

Try and catch them with a net and they’ll instinctually flap away.

Trick them into a cage and they’ll definitely resent you.

Trapping, forcing, controlling should never be the goal…

Attracting is where your focus should be.

Create such an amazing space that the butterfly can’t help but flap curiously around you.

Radiate such warm and welcoming energy that the butterfly can’t help but feel drawn to you.

You—or the one whom you want to become—are a garden.

…And if you learn how to properly take care of yourself… and grow both on the inside and the out… your butterfly will choose—won’t be able to help but to choose—to keep coming back.

Love In Wrong Turns

Published on August 14, 2025

A co-worker shared a story with me today about the moment she knew she wanted her brother and his girlfriend to get married.

Both girls were out at a girl’s night chatting and she—the girlfriend—made the following comment about my co-worker’s brother:

“Whenever he’s driving and he makes a wrong turn… I don’t say anything. I just let him figure it out. I know we’ll eventually get where we’re meant to be… and keeping him calm and anxiety free on the way is more important to me than being right or correcting and stressing him out.”

…For some couples, wrong turns lead to something in the opposite direction of love.

…For others, you get to a point where you wonder if there even is a wrong turn for their love.

When I Went To A Music Show Alone

Published on August 12, 2025

Once upon a time I decided to go to a music show alone.

While there, a random person saw me vibin’, asked if I came with anybody, grabbed my arm when I said “No,” dragged me around the packed venue filled with thousands of people until she finally found her people, and introduced me to them all.

We’ve all been friends ever since.

And that squad and I have gone to many other shows, have created countless memories, have rippled that same inclusive energy to hundreds of other strangers, expanded our squad beautifully, and are still making plans together today.

…All from that one random, happenstance initiative.

Three lessons come to mind from this story that popped into my brain today:

  1. Don’t be afraid to do things alone. Go where you feel pulled to go—your people will be there, too. And if you don’t, you might never cross paths with who you were supposed to meet.
  2. Always show up with intentionality. I don’t recommend dragging strangers by the arm who go places alone—it only worked because the vibe I was giving worked and she sensed it. And I allowed her to drag me because the opposite was true, too. I don’t know how to describe it, but your vibe attracts your tribe. It’s something you feel, you just have to intentionally show up with the vibe you want to attract… and follow the pull of your attraction.
  3. Keep doing inner work. The deeper I continue to dig inside, the better things continue to get outside. At the forefront of which are the people I’m blessed to be connecting with at this stage of life.