Skip to content

Category: Transforming Pain

Your Body’s Check Engine Light

Published on June 9, 2025

A bad mood is like your car’s check engine light.

They both say: something is off.

Instead of plugging in a device to run a diagnostic as to what’s wrong, however… you have to plug in your awareness to your inner state to gain clarity.

And sometimes, this takes time. But, after enough dedicated diagnostic analysis, lo and behold, your reading will appear.

Unplug too soon, as it is with the device that plugs into your car, and you’ll leave with no more information than you had before.

Stay patient and committed, however, and the reading can come out just as clear as it would on the machine.

Without this information, all efforts will be guess work and may even make the problem worse.

With this information, all efforts can be pointed and deliberately focused on doing precisely what will help.

Too many people skip this diagnostic/ inner work step and then wonder why things only seem to be getting worse the more they continue to “drive their car.”

Want to save time, energy, and effort in your life? Get in the habit of not skipping step 1 in solving inner world problems and do your due diligence in obtaining diagnostic information.

Step 2 becomes exponentially easier when you do.

Spirit > Talent

Published on June 1, 2025

There was a black belt pre test at the martial arts school I teach at this past Friday.

There are no superfluous performances at this test—no weapons, no board breaking, no elaborately choreographed self-defense or fight scenes—just pure traditional martial arts requirements and spirit testing.

The goal is to have a guest panel of Master Instructors—who haven’t been involved in the candidate preparation process—oversee the test and objectively determine if the students reach the standards of our Association.

And for about an hour and a half to two hours… they get tested.

Towards the end of the test… once they’re physically and mentally fatigued and have already been asked to give 100% of what they have on each of the required areas… they’re asked to do it all again during a final spirit test. And it’s in these final minutes that the entire test can be made or broken.

Because what we’re trying to test isn’t body coordination… and it isn’t even athleticism… although both of those areas matter… it’s spirit.

Because with indomitable spirit… athleticism can be built… the body can be further coordinated… the manner in which they’re going to hold themselves—even when they’re not wearing their uniform or rank—will be honored.

But, athleticism or talented coordination without spirit? …It’s putting the cart before the horse.

Which isn’t to say there’s anything wrong with having a talented and maybe lazy student… it’s simply a reminder to not put their talent ahead of their lazy. Because lazy is the horse… and talent is the cart.

Heard And Found

Published on May 24, 2025

What’s interesting about exploring other people’s art… is that in so doing… you get to explore the art within yourself.

What resonates becomes a little louder.

What doesn’t fades into the background.

And after enough of that… you start to hear the tune of a different sound.

A sound you haven’t quite heard before… a sound that feels like some type of remix… a sound that feels raw, un-molded, and like a divine delivery from some type of muse or higher up.

And it’s through the cultivation of that sound… that flavor… that style…

Through the creation of your art… your remixes… what makes you proud…

That we… as feeling and seeking creatures… get heard and found.

Angels In Life

Published on May 21, 2025

I’m a part of a 30 person camp who all share the experience and responsibility of Burning Man each year.

One of the camp members called me the other day with an ask.

She was explaining to me that her and her husband had spent some time with one of the older camp members and that he was, essentially, losing himself. He was becoming erratic, nonsensical, and unable to maintain a conversation… that he was no longer the person she had met some 30+ years before.

The ask was if I would be willing to drive him and his RV to the burn and then back again afterward. She explained that he was one of the people whose life was dramatically changed by Burning Man and she knew he wouldn’t be able to make the trip on his own anymore… and wanted to do everything she could to get him back for at least one final burn.

I hope one day… when I’m older, erratic, non-sensical, unable to maintain a conversation, and by all intents and purposes—losing myself… I have people in my life who look out for me in the same way. Who stay with me for long weekends… who know me better than I’m able to express at that aged time… who are willing to go above and beyond to get me to one last burn.

People like these are the angels of our lives.

And the funny thing about getting angels in our life… is that you usually get them by being one in other peoples’ lives.

Using “Blank” and “Empty” To Invite Fresh, Future-Focused Living

Published on May 20, 2025

The interesting thing about blank page and canvas, is that it invites creation.

The interesting thing about living with blank walls, is that it invites art/decor.

The interesting thing about empty furniture, is that it invites use. Tables want to be filled, chairs want to be sat in, bookshelves want to be lined…

The interesting thing about this time of the year, is that it invites us to reset our living environments. Spring is a time for cleaning, for donating, for reorganizing, for tossing, for selling… it’s a time to turn the page on how we’ve filled the blank/empty spaces in the past and invites us to take a fresh look and reflect on how we want to begin anew in creation, art/decor, and use.

Inner Work Prompt: Does your current environment feel “done” or does it invite fresh, creative thinking?

On Being Present With Those Who Suffer Loss

Published on May 15, 2025

A martial arts friend of mine lost his dog last week.

In a post about it, he said, “Honestly, there are no words for what I’m feeling right now. Like I said in an earlier post, if I want to talk about it, I will. But please don’t leave the usual comments—’Sorry for your loss,’ ‘He’s in a better place,’ and so on. I know people mean well, but those words just pick at the wound and make it harder to heal.”

I know this pain all too well with how I ended up losing my dog, Stella.

And while I, too, have no words for getting through this type of pain or how to deal with these types of emotions… what I can say is that presence is the best gift any of us can provide.

And not necessarily presence in the sense of being with him in person… I know that wasn’t what I wanted when I was going through it—I wanted to crawl into a cave and wall myself in.

I mean presence in the sense of keeping them present in your mind and actions. By embodying the best of what each of them represent and passing that forward in the best way you can. By engaging with the material that’s posted and finding ways to celebrate the life of an animal that meant so much. By showing up and being there in person when it’s appropriate and well timed.

Sometimes words just pick at the wound.

But presence… the energy that’s felt when another enters your awareness… when it has the right intention and vibration… is generally received as a healing warmth.

The Duality Of Insight

Published on May 12, 2025

After I upload a quote to MoveMe Quotes, it’s important I tag it with the appropriate topics/themes.

For example, I uploaded a quote today that reads, “You start dying slowly if you do not travel, if you do not read, if you do not listen to the sounds of life, if you do not appreciate yourself. You start dying slowly when you kill your self-esteem; when you do not let others help you. You start dying slowly if you avoid to feel passion and their turbulent emotions; those which make your eyes glisten and your heart beat fast. You start dying slowly if you do not change your life when you are not satisfied with your job, or with your love, if you do not risk what is safe for the uncertain, if you do not go after a dream, if you do not allow yourself at least once in your lifetime, to run away from sensible advice…” ~ Pablow Neruda

Now, obviously this quote is about death—and how not to die slowly—so I tag it “Death Quotes.”

But… more importantly, this quote is about living—and how to truly live before you die—so I tag it “Living Quotes.”

And this duality is an important concept to understand when dealing with insight.

If you want to understand life—study death. If you want to understand death—study life. If you want to understand self-love—study self-hate. If you want to understand self-hate—study self-love. If you want to understand connection—study solitude. If you want to understand solitude—study connection. And so on.

Are you studying the duality of the problem(s) you’re facing in your life?