Category: Transforming Pain

Why Do Anything Hard Ever?

Published on September 8, 2025

The start of Burning Man was rough.

There were record breaking wind storms that wreaked havoc, and in many cases, completely ruined people’s camp and art installation setups.

There were rain storms that turned the ground into a feeling of cement mix and halted all travel in any direction for hours and hours on end.

And because of the above, there were unprecedented delays that left burners stranded in the entry line, in their vehicles, for in some cases, 21+ hours—and this was after having driven 6, 8, 12 hours to get into that line.

Burners had to build camp not once—which is already labor intensive and taxing enough as is—but twice because of the above mentioned ordeals, on very little sleep, all well before anything of the event itself could be experienced.

…So, why the heck do it?

Because during those record breaking wind storms, people came together to fight back.

During the periods of prolonged rain, people went out of their way to gift those who were struggling.

When the camp had to be torn down, the team not only did that, but built it back up better and stronger than before.

…Why do anything hard?

Because nothing worthwhile comes easily.

If Burning Man was “plug-and-play” and all people had to do was show up to five star campsites and well paved roads… to perfect weather via seamless flows… without any obstacle or issue or concern…

…Then there wouldn’t be any coming together, no triumph, no victory, no down-and-dirty, no reward.

So much of what makes the reward so rewarding is the challenge and adversity that had to be overcome along the way.

“MEDITATE!”

Published on July 14, 2025

A student in the martial arts school I teach at was having a complete meltdown in the lobby the other day.

I was in an office doing paperwork when I heard, “Let me GO!” “Let ME GO!!” LET ME GO!!!”

What was happening was this child’s mom had to leave him at the school with his uncle because she had an appointment—and he did NOT want her to go.

I gathered both the student and the uncle into my office so the mom could leave.

Once there, the uncle—who was very compassionate and well-intentioned—was matching the child’s temper-tantrum with flustered, emotional energy as he offered suggestions for calming down: “It’s going to be okay!” “You’ll see MOM LATER!!” “TRY YOUR MEDITATION!!”

Seeing that this was only feeding the tantrum, I asked the uncle to leave so I could work with him individually.

Once gone, all I did was sit in front of the door (so he couldn’t chase mom into the parking lot), legs crossed in half-lotus, and… meditated.

Here’s what happened:

His temper-tantrum slowly burned out.
He sat quietly in his chair with his upset face on for a while.
And after about 20 minutes, asked me, “…Now what?”

And I said, now we get you some water, walk you into class to either watch or participate, and you go home to see mom so y’all can hear about each other’s days.

And that’s exactly what happened.

See, the uncle was right—meditation was a fantastic idea (especially if it was something I intuited they had done/been working on).

All I did was model meditation instead of insisting he “MEDITATE!” while in a flustered state.

I Hiked The 1984 Olympic Luge Track

Published on July 9, 2025

One of the highlights of my trip to Bosnia was a hike that allowed you to walk inside the bobsleigh and luge track that’s situated on Trebević mountain overlooking the City of Sarajevo, built for the 1984 Winter Olympics.

The track was about a mile long, had about a 10% grade incline, and 13 turns. It cost about $8,500,000 USD (563,209,000 YUD) to construct in 1981 and took a little over one year to complete. It’s still mostly in tact today, even after the Yugoslav and Bosnian Wars, and has become an incredible relic and spectacle for modern day explorers.

Today, it’s filled with overgrowth and graffiti and provides a fascinating backdrop for hikers that contrasts beautiful green natural scenery with massive concrete track slabs that are filled with colorful and vibrantly sprayed artistic expressions and images.

As I was walking down the massive track, feeling the quality of the concrete under my feet, imagining the effort that went into the track’s development, visualizing the incredible experience thousands of people had as a result of its realization… I couldn’t help but wonder, what else could we have created by now if we didn’t spend so much time, energy, effort, and money trying to destroy, conquer, and steal…

When Hit With Stone… Hit Back With… Bread?

Published on July 4, 2025

A local born and raised Bosnian was telling me that a common Bosnian mentality is: When hit with stone, hit back with bread.

The idea being similar to the one Mahatma Gandhi is commonly attributed to saying: An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.

But what this local Bosnian continued with was: “…But don’t let forgiveness and kindness lead to naiveté and vulnerability.”

Because the man who goes around making people blind, without any remorse, care, or heed needs to be confronted, challenged, and held accountable.

Bosnia is an unbelievably beautiful place. And since I’ve arrived, every single Bosnian I’ve met has hit me with bread. And more bread. And even after I was full—more bread after that. The hospitality is unmatched.

One thing you’ll notice about the city, however, is that there are still architectural “scars” scattered throughout from a time when they were hit with stone… and then barraged with stone during the Bosnian War.

…Abandoned buildings with bullet holes standing next to fully renovated apartments. Modern restaurants sitting under structures that have massive holes from bombings. Once beautifully designed, impressive feats of architectural ingenuity and creativity, stand ruined… behind vine-filled fences… right in the heart of the city.

Why are they still there and not torn down, fully renovated, or at least patched up so as not to be on display for all to see?

I can’t know all the factors, but at the very least I suspect they’re there because scars are meant to serve as reminders.

…That maybe when someone hits you with stone, you do your due diligence before you hit them back with bread.

Can You Hear What I’m Not Saying?

Published on June 11, 2025

I have a student who will often say she’s lazy.

Yet, she shows up consistently to class and works hard while she’s training.

She’ll frequently talk about how she’s “not good.”

Yet, she has close to full splits, is quite strong, and is getting better and better martial coordination after each class.

She’ll even bring up times when she “failed” or talk about her struggles to illustrate her points.

Yet, she competes in most tournaments, completes every belt test with stand out performances, and gets extra training in whenever she can.

It’s in situations like these that you have to listen to what the student is really saying.

…Because her words aren’t saying it.

If you pay close enough attention, what you might realize is that with all people, what they do and how they act speaks way louder than anything they say.

Your Body’s Check Engine Light

Published on June 9, 2025

A bad mood is like your car’s check engine light.

They both say: something is off.

Instead of plugging in a device to run a diagnostic as to what’s wrong, however… you have to plug in your awareness to your inner state to gain clarity.

And sometimes, this takes time. But, after enough dedicated diagnostic analysis, lo and behold, your reading will appear.

Unplug too soon, as it is with the device that plugs into your car, and you’ll leave with no more information than you had before.

Stay patient and committed, however, and the reading can come out just as clear as it would on the machine.

Without this information, all efforts will be guess work and may even make the problem worse.

With this information, all efforts can be pointed and deliberately focused on doing precisely what will help.

Too many people skip this diagnostic/ inner work step and then wonder why things only seem to be getting worse the more they continue to “drive their car.”

Want to save time, energy, and effort in your life? Get in the habit of not skipping step 1 in solving inner world problems and do your due diligence in obtaining diagnostic information.

Step 2 becomes exponentially easier when you do.

Spirit > Talent

Published on June 1, 2025

There was a black belt pre test at the martial arts school I teach at this past Friday.

There are no superfluous performances at this test—no weapons, no board breaking, no elaborately choreographed self-defense or fight scenes—just pure traditional martial arts requirements and spirit testing.

The goal is to have a guest panel of Master Instructors—who haven’t been involved in the candidate preparation process—oversee the test and objectively determine if the students reach the standards of our Association.

And for about an hour and a half to two hours… they get tested.

Towards the end of the test… once they’re physically and mentally fatigued and have already been asked to give 100% of what they have on each of the required areas… they’re asked to do it all again during a final spirit test. And it’s in these final minutes that the entire test can be made or broken.

Because what we’re trying to test isn’t body coordination… and it isn’t even athleticism… although both of those areas matter… it’s spirit.

Because with indomitable spirit… athleticism can be built… the body can be further coordinated… the manner in which they’re going to hold themselves—even when they’re not wearing their uniform or rank—will be honored.

But, athleticism or talented coordination without spirit? …It’s putting the cart before the horse.

Which isn’t to say there’s anything wrong with having a talented and maybe lazy student… it’s simply a reminder to not put their talent ahead of their lazy. Because lazy is the horse… and talent is the cart.