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Category: Transforming Pain

Never Miss A Story

Published on December 20, 2025

My internet browser told me today, “Turn on Brave news and never miss a story.”

And boy does that sound awful.

But boy do people in society treat it as their duty to be “in the know” 24/7 and submit to the never-ending news cycle that pedals fear, hate, and doom round and round and round the clock.

Here’s a newsflash: it’s not.

In fact, missing just about all of the modern day news stories would probably result in a massive upgrade in mental health if I had to speculate.

Because here’s what’s not speculation: “If it bleeds, it leads“; “If it burns; it earns“; and it can only take around 14 minutes of news consumption to increase anxiety and depression symptoms.

…Imagine never missing a story where stories built on the above pillars are being pedaled 24/7?

Yeah. Maybe they need to change their pitch.

And yeah, maybe we need to reconsider our “duty.”

“Do You Feel That…? That’s Proud.”

Published on December 3, 2025

One of my martial arts students lost his belt a few weeks ago because he was hitting people and being unsafe in various situations.

Yesterday, he finally earned it back.

And right in that moment of elation while he was hugging it and looking to his guardian’s face for cues on how to feel and act… she pointed to his chest and said, “Do you feel that? That’s proud. You’re proud of yourself for doing so much better at managing big emotions and being safe.”

Naming the emotion, especially for kids who are navigating whirlwinds of complicated ever-changing emotions, is one of the fundamental first steps in helping them understand how to act and respond to what’s otherwise unknown, unidentified, and unclear.

…And so it is for adults.

Because what happens when there are big unknown, unidentified, and unclear emotions is that we start busting at the seams with energy that we don’t know how to direct—and we start reacting (mindlessly) instead of responding (mindfully).

But big emotions aren’t something to fear—it’s the very substance of what gives our lives vibrancy. We simply need to learn how to better identify what it is we’re feeling so that we can respond (not react) in ways that are proven to help.

For example:

  • Feeling anxious/overwhelmed? Go for a walk and/or do mindfulness/breathing exercises.
  • Feeling angry/frustrated? Create a relationship boundary or stand up for what’s right.
  • Feeling stressed? (Re)prioritize rest or engaging in hobbies you enjoy.

How are you feeling right now? Can you name the emotion? Do you know how to direct the energy of the emotion in a constructive way? Try doing this at least one time today.

Befriend Feeling Bad

Published on October 27, 2025

It’s good to feel bad, without it, there would be no cause for you to push back for good.

I felt unhealthy this week, for example, and it made me feel bad. But it made me push back and I had an extra healthy grocery shopping trip for this upcoming week.

I’ve been missing my evening reading time because I’ve been going to bed so late and I’ve felt bad about it. But I can feel the push to get back on track with it as the book I’m reading stares me down each night I climb into bed without giving it any attention.

I felt bad about judging a homeless person in a restaurant. But, after listening to how a mother spoke to him and listened to him and helped him, it gave me cause to push back on that reflex and do better.

The point is, don’t excuse/ suppress/ or ignore feeling bad about things—befriend that feeling. Use it to magnify the energy and effort you’ll devote towards pushing back for the good.

Meditating On Death

Published on September 25, 2025

Sometimes, I’ll do a death meditation where I’ll find a comfortable seated position, close my eyes, calm my breath and body… and imagine different scenarios that lead to my death.

I know it sounds crazy, but stay with me here for a minute.

A family member told me today that he got diagnosed with diabetes. And rather than default to meds, he decided he was going to revolutionize his lifestyle and use exercise and a proper diet to fight back. And he’s been fighting back successfully, indeed.

See… it was the IRL diagnosis that lead to the seriousness that lead to the change.

When I open my eyes from those sometimes very serious death meditations—it’s like I’ve taken on a new lease on life—without needing the IRL near death experience.

…And if you can find a way to take very real situations that people face in their very real lives as seriously as they have to—without needing to actually confront the very real situation yourself—you just might prevent that very real situation from making a very real impact on your life altogether.

A Friend’s Brother Passed Away Over The Weekend

Published on September 22, 2025

When his wife texted me about it, I offered my condolences and told her not to hesitate about reaching out if there’s anything I could do.

She replied in a way nobody has ever replied to this sentiment before.

She said, “Thank you! If you have time to stop by our house and just sit with him for a while that would mean a lot. We are here all weekend.”

And so I did.

And let me tell you, it felt like the best thing I could’ve done.

…Better than cards, flowers, or heartfelt text messages—not that there’s anything wrong with these.

…It’s just to say presence is one of the—if not the—best forms of support during indescribably hard times.

The Ripples Of Help

Published on September 8, 2025

Yesterday, I mentioned how during periods of prolonged rain (at Burning Man), people went out of their way to gift those who were struggling.

Let me share a story with you as an example.

Towards the end of one of the worst periods of rain, as my RV-mates and I finished our umpteenth game of rummy, I peeked my head out of the side door to look for signs of life.

There was some really great music playing somewhere in the vicinity, there was murmuring and rustling in the nearby tents, and—what really caught my eye—our camp’s bar appeared to be open. The lights were on, the curtains were pulled back, and there was movement.

Letting my curiosity take hold, I called it quits for rummy and placed my bare feet into the cold, sludgy, cement-mix-like ground and trekked towards the bar.

When I got there, I found one of my campmates walking drinks to passerby burners and offering them a place to rest before they finished the rest of their journey back to camp. 

The gratitude on their faces at the sight of a drink and a chair, after having traveled much too far in the exponentially-more-difficult-rained-on-terrain—was inspirational.

Needless to say, I jumped on board and helped how I could—And did so for a while into the night.

…But, you know who it was helping just as much as anybody who was passing by, exhausted and demoralized? …Us.

It was helping us get through the misery of the weather and it brought all of us closer together.

…It was a beautiful reminder that helping is never just about the one on the receiving end.

Why Do Anything Hard Ever?

Published on September 8, 2025

The start of Burning Man was rough.

There were record breaking wind storms that wreaked havoc, and in many cases, completely ruined people’s camp and art installation setups.

There were rain storms that turned the ground into a feeling of cement mix and halted all travel in any direction for hours and hours on end.

And because of the above, there were unprecedented delays that left burners stranded in the entry line, in their vehicles, for in some cases, 21+ hours—and this was after having driven 6, 8, 12 hours to get into that line.

Burners had to build camp not once—which is already labor intensive and taxing enough as is—but twice because of the above mentioned ordeals, on very little sleep, all well before anything of the event itself could be experienced.

…So, why the heck do it?

Because during those record breaking wind storms, people came together to fight back.

During the periods of prolonged rain, people went out of their way to gift those who were struggling.

When the camp had to be torn down, the team not only did that, but built it back up better and stronger than before.

…Why do anything hard?

Because nothing worthwhile comes easily.

If Burning Man was “plug-and-play” and all people had to do was show up to five star campsites and well paved roads… to perfect weather via seamless flows… without any obstacle or issue or concern…

…Then there wouldn’t be any coming together, no triumph, no victory, no down-and-dirty, no reward.

So much of what makes the reward so rewarding is the challenge and adversity that had to be overcome along the way.