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Category: Transforming Pain

You’ve Been Hacked

Published on December 4, 2021

My friend’s Instagram got hacked.

She had 27k followers.

Then, get this, the hackers messaged her on WhatsApp asking for a ransom.

There are people out there who actually do this.

This is simply to say:

  • Protect your accounts
  • Never give out passwords
  • Choose extra security options

Pretend like all of your accounts just got hacked and you lost everything you’ve built.

You lost all of your connections and you had no way of communicating with anyone on social media.

If you really want to feel that reality, delete all social media apps on your phone for the next week.

See how it feels.

Then, imagine you finally got them back after a ton of back-and-forth and pain-in-the-butt customer service interactions.

What steps would you take to prevent that from ever happening again?

Do that now.

Hustle Without Mental Health

Published on December 2, 2021

Hustle without mental health is self-hate.

Did that feel too aggressive?

If it did, then I’m speaking to you.

Because anyone who argues in favor of hustle at the expense of mental health is arguing for what exactly?

  • Inclined feelings of sadness, anxiety, and helplessness?
  • Confused thinking and reduced ability to concentrate?
  • Exasperated feelings of fear, shame, or guilt?
  • Constant exhaustion and low drive to get things done?
  • A sense to withdraw from family, friends, and loved ones?
  • Detachment from reality and inability to cope with problems/ stress?

And how exactly does any of that help with hustle?

It doesn’t.

More importantly, it doesn’t help anyone or anything that’s involved with that person’s life—least of all, the person themselves.

And by ignoring this—yes, they’re choosing to commit an act of self-hate. Because self-love doesn’t ignore signs/calls for help.

Take care of yourself, first. Spend time inspecting the state of your mental wellbeing. Listen to what your body is telling you—and respond.

Hustle can wait. Your mental health can’t.

“I’m Fine.”

Published on November 20, 2021

First sign that you’re suppressing emotions?

“I’m fine.”

…When you’re not.

Let’s normalize saying how you *actually* feel when someone asks how you’re doing.

Gas-Guzzling Thoughts

Published on October 25, 2021

Various thoughts consume various amounts of mental energy.

Deep, intense, painful thoughts consume a lot.

Superficial, light, fleeting thoughts consume a little.

If you don’t deal with the gas-guzzling thoughts, you’ll be left feeling constantly exhausted.

And, maybe better put, if you constantly feel exhausted, maybe it’s precisely because you haven’t dealt with the gas-guzzling thoughts.

Your Most Powerful Energy Source

Published on October 19, 2021

Emotionally charged energy is amongst the most powerful sources of energy for a human there is.

Think about the energy of a mom when she’s protecting her child’s life, or the lover after they’ve experienced heartbreak, or even a friend when they see a ref make a bad call during a sports game.

It’s during some of our most emotional moments when we are filled with some of our most potent, raw sources of energy.

What matters isn’t where it comes from—whether from perceptively positive or negative emotions—but how we choose to channel and express it.

Choose a constructive outlet and it can fuel the erection of an entire city.

Choose a destructive outlet and it can level the likes of an entire city.

The worst thing you can do is give it no outlet.

For energy left to pressurize without any source of release has but one, ultimate fate: explosion.

And what a tragedy for destruction to come from the energy that could have created so much for so many.

This post became the afterword for: A Short Story About Frida Kahlo And The Unexpected Gifts Pain Can Provide [Excerpt]

Mental Health Day Reminders

Published on October 10, 2021

Don’t fake being okay.

It’s okay to not be okay.

All of your feelings are valid.

You may screw up, but you’re not a screw up.

Asking for help isn’t quitting, it’s a sign of determination.

Expressing your feelings isn’t weakening—it’s empowering.

You deserve to get help, seek support, take days off, and get better.

Comparison is a killer—do the best you can with what you have, where you are.

You are more than your anxious thoughts, your past trauma, your mistakes, your flaws and your mental illness.

Cut yourself some slack. Don’t rush the process of healing. It’s okay to have off, unproductive, emotional days. It’s okay to rest.

You are not alone and you don’t have to fight your battles alone. There are people, just like you, who are seeking connection and support.

Always choose love and kindness—for others and especially for yourself.

Grumpy People

Published on October 8, 2021

My aunt on a grumpy hotel employee:

“Maybe he was just having a bad day. Maybe he had to poop and he couldn’t. You just don’t know.”

My new life philosophy for grumpy people.