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Category: Transforming Pain

The Comparison Sweet Spot

Published on March 17, 2023

First of all, I’m in camp: comparison is at the root of all unhappiness.

However, there is a comparison sweet spot that can be healthy and motivational.

The modern day dilemma is that most of the comparison that happens in our digital, ever-connected lives is with people who are in completely different leagues than us.

Why? Because it’s the best in the game—across all domains—who get the most view time on media platforms.

It’s the most fit athletes, the most attractive influencers, the most witty entertainers, the most successful business people, the most risky stunts people, etc. who capture and keep the most attention.

It only makes sense.

What we need to be conscious of is when it doesn’t make sense for us and our mental health.

And when it doesn’t make sense is when we’re aspiring to be more fit and we’re comparing ourselves to the million follower athlete. Or when we’re an aspiring side hustler and we’re comparing ourselves to the full-time, six-figure, media-empire-content-creator. Or when we’re an aspiring writer and we’re comparing ourselves to Stephen King.

See, nothing squashes motivation faster than putting yourself up against somebody who you know you don’t stand a chance against.

Where the motivation scales tip in our favor, however, is when we compare ourselves to people who are only a few steps ahead of us; people who we feel we have a chance against; people who, with a little more work, we might catch.

We don’t become a pro right out of the gate. We get really good at the amateur level and work our way up—slowly. The same should be strictly followed in our digital lives, too.

Inner Answers

Published on March 12, 2023

Deep within us there lies a guide who is exceptionally wise and who knows the answers to most (if not all) of the life challenges we’re currently facing.

But, most of us never consult this deep inner wisdom.

We bury ourselves with busywork, hide behind distractions, and absorb passive entertainment like it’s our job.

Before you go Google searching, impulse buying, or friend venting… try consulting the inner wisdom that’s already there… Deep within you… by closing your eyes… blocking out distractions… and asking your deepest self… the very questions you’ve been avoiding.

And remember, inward travel takes time—so be patient.

It’s also important to remember that the messages you’ll receive won’t come in the form of words, but in the form of symbols and feelings. Learn this language and interpret it intuitively (or get help from a book like this)—it was created by you after all. Herein lies the answers that you so deeply crave, yet so consciously avoid because of the implicit work.

This is where the life changing choice is made.

Keep running, hiding, and burying? Or veer onto the path less traveled and turn towards, confront, and face. Deep down, you know what you need to do. The only question is, will you listen?

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

The Language Of The Inner

Published on March 8, 2023

Do NOT underestimate the power of:

  • Dreams
  • Daydreaming
  • Visualizing
  • Play
  • Art

One of the primary ways our deepest self communicates with our conscious self is via symbolism/ abstraction/ art.

What I’ve been taking for granted for most of my life, I’m slowly learning, are key insights encoded as symbolic messages from deep within.

Balancing Up And Down

Published on March 6, 2023

Our roots entrench themselves deeper through inner work.

Our branches extend themselves out further through outer engagement.

If you find yourself uneasy, ridden with anxiety, like your standing on unstable ground…

It’s root work that’s needed.

Don’t fool yourself into thinking that something more is needed from the outer (money, status, travel, etc). It’ll only end up making you feel more unstable by further extending out your branches without having any effect on the depth of your roots.

Proportional is what makes the tree stand firm.

We move up by going down. And the more we go down… the higher up we can go. Go too high without enough down… and we’ll tip and crash. Find the balance in up and down and stable, calm, secure, is where we’ll be found.

P.s. Know someone who may enjoy reading these? This is me kindly asking if you’d forward it to them :)

YOU TV

Published on March 5, 2023

Our self-worth increases proportionally to the amount of time spent doing inner work.

If we never prioritize our SELF… how can we expect to realize all that we are?

Like modern media, what garners the most attention proportionally holds the most worth.

Make YOU the channel you spend the most time on.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

Where’s the best place to start with inner work?

Published on March 2, 2023

Good questions.

…Not good question. My answer is: with good questions. Although it is a good question.

Okay moving on.

Here’s a great starting formula:

A good question + a good block of uninterrupted time + honest attempts at answering = excellent inner work.

It doesn’t have to be any more complicated than that.

Going on meditation retreats, taking intense treks through nature, doing intensive therapy sessions are undoubtedly powerful and worth every ounce of effort that you invest into them.

But, the barrier to actually doing those things is quite high. And anything that’s hard to do will get avoided and confronted with a proportional amount of resistance.

This is why we need to simplify our process. We need to meet ourselves where we are. We need to invest in little steps, start with small inquisitions, and explore our inner caves one piece of tunnel at a time.

Step by step, question by question, day by day is the way forward that fits into the busy person’s life. You just have to decide and commit.

Questions you might consider starting with:

  • If you burned away everything you knew about yourself… what would remain?
  • What/Who makes being yourself easier? Harder? Why? What might you do with this insight?
  • What have been the defining events in your life—events that have impacted you the most both positively and negatively as a person? How have they shaped you into who you’ve become? What events might you pursue that could shape you into the person who you most want to become?

P.s. Each question above was pulled from my guide: The Art of Forward (Direction > Speed). More info here.