Skip to content

Category: Thinking Clearly

The Not Talked About Enough Benefit Of Small Changes

Yes, small changes done over an extended period of time add up to big change.

But, more importantly, small promises made and kept to ourself—which is what small changes done over an extended period of time is—adds up to big self-trust change.

Added up enough and suddenly our word isn’t as flimsy as sand… it’s solid as rock.

We do what we say we’re going to do because we’ve made THAT the habit. More powerful than any giant, one-off change we try to make that’s followed by countless promises made and broken.

Living Just A Little More Balanced

Routine is good for building habits. For aligning with momentum. For compounding growth.

Change is good for building richness. For exploring new paths. For resiliency training.

Sure, go to work. But have you ever tried to build a side-hustle?

Sure, workout every morning. But have you ever tried a martial arts class?

Sure, have family dinners. But have you ever tried ordering food from a different city (yes, you can do that)?

Sure, have date night. But have you ever made a random night into a date?

Sure, have travel plans. But have you ever just called a friend and taken them on a spontaneous hike?

If your life is feeling too monotonous or boring… it’s because it probably is! Add in some spice and give yourself something to look forward to, ponder over, or get challenged with.

And if your life is feeling too crazy or unhinged… it’s because it probably is! Ground yourself into ritualistic practices that you can look forward to every day, without fail, that can be done even on your busiest days.

Life is best lived in balance. And getting this even just a little more right can make things feel a lotta bit more better.

Head vs. Heart? …Or Is There A Better Way?

Life lived through the head leads to a more gray, tamed, calculated existence.

Life lived through the heart leads to a more saturated, wild, spontaneous existence.

By default, many of us live predominantly through one or the other.

The magic of inner work is that rather than living primarily through just one of those places… we can re-route that energy and filter it through the other center before acting on it in reality.

This gives our judgment the balance it needs to guide us forward in a more holistic and complete way.

If we let our head guide us through relationships, for example, the above words is the kind of relationship we’ll get: gray, tame, calculated.

If we let our heart guide us through work… we might spontaneously quit our job, commit to something wild, and live a life saturated with polarizing emotions—on the street.

But when we filter our head through the heart in relationships, we get something that’s not only sensical… but passionate.

And when we filter our heart through our head… we get something that’s not only exciting… but practical.

Without space and time for inner work, energy and insight shoot directly from our head or heart and is used to make raw decisions that often end up feeling incomplete, lopsided, or even regretful.

Slowing down and redirecting that energy through the filters of the other center gives us the balanced perspective we need to make complete decisions that often end up feeling more whole and rewarding as life unfolds.

You Never Went Viral… You Never Became A Star… You Never Connected With More Than A Handful Of People…

Imagine this: you’re in the sunset stage of life… sitting in your rocking chair on your cozy porch with the light shining down warming your skin… and you reflect on your life:

  • Reflection A: You never created what was always stirring inside because of fear, imposter syndrome, distraction, procrastination, and/or doubt.
  • Reflection B: You never went viral, you never became a star, and you never connected with more than a handful of people… but, boy did you create. You have galleries worth of art, books worth of writing, and/or albums worth of music… and it’s all there surrounding you, like old friends, for you to revisit, re-explore, and maybe re-invent into more gifts for that handful of people.

It’s possible, too, that you have a Reflection C: you went viral, became a star, and everybody loved you and still can’t get enough of you. But, the point for me is simple… Reflection B isn’t as bad as so many make it out to be.

In other words, people weight how their creations are liked, commented on, and shared too heavily and quit too easily when the numbers don’t match their expectations. When really… it’s the creating in general that builds the true value, meaning, and fulfillment in the rocking chair at the end of life…

Forget about the day after stats. Stop obsessing over the pluses and minuses. Comparing yourself to lottery winners—in every sense of the phrase—isn’t going to help.

Focus on the quiet whispers of your soul. Lean into the pulls of your curiosity. Block out distractions, expectations, and that which fancies the ego.

Simply surrender to the ebbs and flows… and create.

Stop Thinking Yourself Into Limitations

I looked into one of my instructor’s martial arts classes the other day during a jumping jack set and I saw:

  • An 85-year-old holocaust survivor two-stepping and arm raising as close to a jumping jack as she could.
  • A walker-bound stroke survivor, arched heavily as she stood, releasing her arms intermittently a few inches above her arm supports to mirror along.
  • A middle aged dad sitting in the lobby doing mental jumping jacks after having 1/3 of his colon removed via emergency surgery just a week earlier—there for the community, contribution, and vibes.

…What I didn’t notice as much were the twenty or so others doing picturesque jumping jacks, in rhythm, without so much as a squint.

Which is merely to say: never forget that, like a tree, your ability to inspire branches outward exponentially the deeper the roots of your troubles and adversities dig down.

People tell me all of the time how they’re “too old” or “too out of shape” or “too busy” to do martial arts classes.

When really, the only thing making them old, out of shape, and busy… is their mindset.

Modern Day Flexes

Reads books.

Does inner work.

Exercises regularly.

Walks and sits with excellent posture.

Rarely eats fast food or uses the microwave.

Eats entire meals without checking phone.

Waits patiently, in line or traffic or elsewhere, without checking phone.

Can facilitate and navigate great conversations without checking phone.

Can disagree and hold a dialog with a person without attacking the person.

Speaks to others with steady eye contact.

Can dance wholeheartedly without any care of judgments.

Compliments more than complains; offers optimism more than pessimism; leads with love more than hate—both in-person and online.

Lives below their means—happily. Regardless of salary size.

Falls asleep quickly. Even after stressful and emotional days.

The Dialogue In Your Head

The one you have about yourself…
and who you are…
what you went through…
what you stand for…
who’s on your side…
who isn’t…
your worth…
your value…
your abilities…
your inabilities…
your cans…
your can’t’s…

Is just that…
dialogue.

And the thing about dialogue
is it can be edited…
rewritten…
updated…
expanded upon…
improved…
made more clear…

Choosing not to do this is exactly that:
a choice.

And choosing to act in accordance with an outdated…
demeaning…
belittling…
restrictive…
subdued…
incomplete…

script

…seems like a silly choice to mentally agree to
…to me.