Some people pick what’s right in front of them because it’s the best they can see.
But when you relentlessly expand your vision… not only does best expand proportionally…
But so too does the seer—the person behind the eyes—grow more and more into a version of themselves that would’ve never ever otherwise…
…Come to be.
In self-defense, the initial strike is pivotal.
If you can surprise the assailant and land a clean shot to the face (i.e. gouge the eyes) or groin (i.e. knee to the nuts) for example—every other strike that follows becomes exponentially more effective. Why? Because they’re going to be blinded or debilitated in a way the stops them from blocking or protecting.
If you telegraph the initial shot and/or don’t land for whatever reason, every shot that follows will become exponentially less effective. Why? Because the assailant will raise their guard and rapidly shift to a heightened defensive awareness.
In the same way, the way we start our tasks or days or weeks can exponentially improve or hinder everything we do that follows. Get the headspace right? And the tasks takes care of themself. Get the morning right? And the day takes care of itself. Get the meal prep right? And the week’s eating takes care of itself.
…Get it wrong? And everything that follows gets exponentially harder.
…And life is hard enough as is.
Even when you follow the exact recipe… use the exact ingredients… in the exact proportions and prepared in the exact same ways… as is described exactly by your grandma herself?
How is it that it always tastes better when it’s done by her?
…I think it’s because love is an ingredient.
And I mean it in the same way that onions or garlic might be an ingredient.
Love transcends the metaphysical and becomes something tangible… something tasteful… something delicious…
It becomes a literal part of the recipe. And there’s no good substitution for it.
You either pour your heart into the recipe or you compromise and try “Attentiveness” or “Precise” or “Careful” or “Good enough” or “That’ll do…”
But you’ll always taste the compromise. Nothing tastes the same as pure, unconditional, un-rushed love.
And so it is for just about everything else you choose to do and make and create in this life.
Worry can be productive so long as it’s turned into strategy.
If you’re packing for a trip, for example, and you’re worried about forgetting something… that energy can be converted into building a list that you can check and double check before you leave.
But understand this: once the strategy is done, worry is no longer productive.
…It becomes an energy leak.
One that drains you of one of your most precious life resources—especially before and during a trip. And it’s here that you should shift strategies away from building lists and focus that energy on plugging leaks.
What I tell myself, for example, is that I’m resourceful, I’m flexible, and I trust I’ll find a way to figure things out—even if I forget something. Heck, I’ll try to even turn forgetting into an adventure and lean into serendipity.
This past weekend, for example, I left my $600 music show wristband at home. Which was probably one of the most important items to NOT FORGET. And, yup, I didn’t even realize it until I was already 1,000+ miles away, driving to meet up with my friends for the event.
But… guess what? …After a quick freak out and some calls… I figured it out.
Things won’t always have a neat and tidy and exciting ending. But, excessive and unnecessary worry won’t help that either.
…When you can learn how to plug energy leaks, though? And how to let go of worry? And how to trust in yourself? …I suspect things actually WILL turn out in the aforementioned ways WAY more often than you might think.
Do not let confusion scare or intimidate you.
For this is what the first stage of all learning and growing feels like.
Simply reply to confusion with curiosity. Ask information-gathering questions. Flex your problem-solving muscles. Think critically and thoroughly. Be flexible in your approach and open-minded to new ideas. Take long walks.
Life is confusing.
And those who avoid it avoid life herself.
And buried they stay inside a mound of monotony, ease, and trivial. For the only way you’re living a life of complete clarity is if you’re not challenging your mind (or you’re enlightened, but I wouldn’t know anything about that).
So, no. Don’t let confusion scare or intimidate you. In fact, use it as a reverse compass of sorts. Lean into it. Explore it. Wrestle with it.
What results on the other side is something much closer to life than the opposite.
The busier I get, the more tempted I am to steal time from other priorities.
I’ve noticed that I’ve been eating time away from my lunch breaks…
I’ve been staying later into the evenings, pulling extra minutes from my editing, reading, sleeping time…
I’ve even noticed that my thinking is more and more work oriented—most noticeably when I sit down to write… I end up circling work thoughts for longer than usual before I’m able to deviate into other trains of thought.
For some, this is how it goes. And work continues to creep further and further into everyday life and steal more and more from everything else—you know, the things that keep you balanced.
But as the old adage goes, we meditate when we’re free… and when we’re busy, we should meditate twice as long.
Resist the urge to steal time from other priorities. Fight for balance. Too much work and not enough play, remember, isn’t even good for work anyway.
…Somebody said to me after an evening of dancing.
And the short reply is that I learned how to mostly stop caring what other people think. I’m not fully immune or perfect at this, but I’ve come a long way.
The longer reply is: I used to wonder the same thing!
I would become so overly critical about how I looked or of what people thought of me that would I typically stand paralyzed in a corner watching others. And it wasn’t until I had a few drinks that I felt like I could loosen up and move more freely.
Then I read something that said something along the lines of: Why do people drink anyway? It’s to change their state… so that they can give themselves permission to act silly, be bold, or dance uncaringly. But this is simply a mindset skill. One that can be learned. And once you can learn how to change your state without the drinking… you can become unstoppable.
…Or an uncaring, dancing machine.
And so I practiced this. I went a full decade completely sober. Not even a sip of alcohol once. And I practiced changing my state. Being more silly and authentically myself. Being bold and confident and decisive. And dancing as uncaringly as I was able.
There are still times when I hesitate or catch myself too much in my head. And like anything in life, it’s a process. One that still has many iterations of improvement yet to go. But one that has taken me many iterations forward from where I was.
And so can it be for you.