I wanted to watch a fight on tv tonight.
…But I didn’t have the right subscription.
…What a great opportunity to reach out to friends to see if they wanted to watch it together at a local spot or house that had the right subscription.
Are the obstacles in your path the end of that journey? …Or are the obstacles in your path actually the way?
If I comment on something 100% of you knows isn’t true… it won’t affect you.
“Your green skin is ugly.”
“Your shoulders are stupid.”
“Your grass is lame.”
If I comment on something you haven’t fully worked through… it may trigger you.
“You’re ugly.”
“You’re stupid.”
“You’re lame.”
Inner work allows you to explore thoughts like these and build a foundation of truth around what’s actually true.
“Am I ugly? Or are those person’s comments ugly?”
“Am I stupid? Or is there a depth to me that this person will simply never get to meet?”
“Am I lame? Or am I in alignment with my circadian rhythm, aware of my needs/desires, and have boundaries that I’m not afraid to enforce?”
Remember that getting triggered is an invitation.
It’s possible that some part of you still believes in what was said.
Or maybe it’s something else?
And what an incredibly fun mission that was to fulfill.
Some promises I’ve heard other people make to themselves and others at music shows:
Choose your mission; choose your destiny.
…Because what you choose to focus on is what you’ll see and work to problem solve.
And making it your mission to “Not have a bad time” is not the same as “Having the best time.”
I’m pretty busy at work these days.
I could pull an 80-hour work week and still have plenty left to do—all things I’m trying to cram into my 40-hour work week as best I can.
…Maybe you can relate.
Add on top of that the fact that oftentimes as I’m working, I’ll get interrupted.
I’ll have kids peek-a-boo into my office, parents stop in to ask questions, instructors ask for advice or guidance, staff share daily happenings, students want to talk or chat the chat with me… and so on…
And it makes getting all of the busy done, as efficiently as I’d like to, challenging.
…But you know what?
The inefficiencies are where the magic happens, isn’t it?
It’s those moments spent peek-a-booing with kids… chatting with parents about life… giving instructors guidance… interacting with my staff whom I’m so proud to have on my team… and chatting the pointless chat with students… that make all of the damn work I’m trying to efficiently get done—worth it.
Without them, I’d be clacking away at a keyboard… for what? For whom?
…Maybe you can relate?
Black Belt Candidate #1:
– Showed up early to every practice, pre-test, and test
– Trained, rehearsed, and started drilling curriculum requirements early
– Got his/her curriculum approved to the highest standard
– Wrote an earnest black belt essay that reflected careful, deep thought
– Completed a service project that made a lasting and meaningful impact on both them and others
– Received a glowing letter of recommendation from an individual who could attest to character demonstrated over the course of years
– Courageously shaved their head/participated in a physical demonstration of humility
– Fasted before their test for the challenge and ritualistic cleanse of the body
– Gave their 100% best effort at each step of the testing process
Black Belt Candidate #2:
– Showed up late to every practice, pre-test, and test
– Waited until the last minute to train, rehearse, and start drilling curriculum requirements
– Got his/her curriculum approved according to the bare minimum standard
– Used AI to write their essay and added minimal thought and/or editing
– Did a last minute service project that they made sound better than it was
– Received a short, generic letter of recommendation
– Decided against participating in a physical demonstration of humility because of fear
– Didn’t want to feel hungry so didn’t fast for their test
– Did just enough to get by at each step of the testing process
…You may not be a martial artist. Heck, you might never even step into a martial arts school. But the contrast in decisions outlined above and what results apply universally. Candidate #1 and candidate #2 are going to feel completely different about their belt, the testing process, and themself… my question for you is: which candidate are you in your domain of life?
…Who would you ask to recount your true and most honest version of yourself?
Isn’t it interesting to think that each person you asked… would recount a different “true” and “most honest” version of you as seen through their eyes?
It’s worth sitting with this and asking yourself how the different people in your life would recount you to the amnesia you.
And then linger with that thought and decide if you’re happy with that… or if there are pieces of you missing that you would never get back because you’ve never given them out…
And decide if you want to do something about that…
…Or keep hiding what you might consider your most true and honest pieces?
What do you do… in those moments you know you’ll always remember?
…In those crossroads moments?
…In those moments that represent a major shift or you know will make it onto your life’s highlight reel?
…At graduations? …At milestone birthdays? …At performance events? …At first dates? …At once-in-a-lifetime travel views?
…How do you step into that type of moment?
…How should you act?
…Should you record so you can reflect on it?
…Or should you step into that space in full presence and awareness?
…Maybe some combination of the two?
Can you step into a space with full awareness and presence if you’re thinking in the background about which moment(s) to capture? Maybe the moment happens when you think it will. Maybe another moment comes up that you think might be better? Maybe you decide to just capture them all and figure it out later?
…But then are you ever really there?
…What do you do?
Maybe outsource it to another? But then does it place a burden onto them that steals them away from presence and awareness? Or maybe it’d be a distinct joy to be able to rewatch this key moment a thousand times over on a screen? Maybe even more so than one fully absorbed and present time?
…And finally: are there ever really moments that are worth a careful contemplation like this over others? Or are all moments worth thinking carefully about like this?
Because I’ve been writing every day for a long time and I’ll tell you what…
There’s an unbelievable depth in each day.