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Category: Thinking Clearly

The Opposite of Human

Published on November 17, 2024

I’ve competed in hundreds of martial arts tournaments throughout my life.

And while the goal was always to perform my routine perfectly… or fight my fights flawlessly… or do my demos without even the faintest of mistakes… I can’t think of a single time when I actually did any of that.

What I do remember are highlight moments when I nailed a really hard move or scored a picture perfect point… but most of all… I remember the feelings…

I remember the intensity of the nerves… the shakiness of my legs… the feeling of being in a foreign body that felt nothing like it did in practice…

And I remember the intensity of the highs when I triumphed… the sense of accomplishment when I’d finish a long day of competition… the feelings of pride and dignity when I was recognized by others as having done well.

And I think to myself about how many potent life experiences I would’ve missed out on if I waited to compete until I felt perfectly ready… or if after my first few experiences of not having flawless performances—I gave up…

The reality is this: perfect is the opposite of human.

And if you feel like you’re living a lackluster existence… like you’re missing depth in your life… like the days feel more gray than colorful…

Then maybe you should question what kind of role perfection plays in your life. Because as tough as it might sound… embracing imperfect action is the path that’ll lead you the other way.

P.s. ICYMI, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week here.

From “Winging It” To Strategy

Published on November 12, 2024

If you wake up and “wing it”—you’ll always fall victim to what’s urgent and distractionary.

If while you’re winging it, however, you discover there’s something important that you missed, could’ve done better, or did too late… and you create a reminder or system for next time…

Then suddenly you have a strategy.

And the next morning, when you wake up and follow it—you’ll likely notice a few things:

1. You’ll feel a pull to go back to what’s urgent and distractionary. Quick dopamine will always have an appeal, but at the expense of doing what’s meaningful long-term. Keep your prior lessons at the forefront of your mind.
2. You’ll discover something else that’s important that needs to get prioritized. And so the iteration goes. Slowly but surely, you’re strategy will grow and improve and become a productivity force to be reckoned with.
3. You’ll start to feel a little better about what you got done during that day. Quick dopamine wears off and leaves you feeling empty. Getting done important stuff leaves you with a lasting feeling of goodness.

Here’s the thing: we all start by winging it.

…It’s how we figure things out when we don’t have any experience or guidance to reference or fall back on.

But, continuing to wing it is a choice.

And not turning learned experiences into a strategy is a choice.

The question is: What kind of choices are you making in your day-to-day?

P.s. I started uploading quotes from The Win Within by Bert Mandelbaum today. You can grab a copy and read along here.

Does Family Come First?

Published on November 10, 2024

…Is it true that, as the expression goes, family [should be prioritized] over everything?

No—if you’re talking about prioritizing family over yourself. Yes—if you’re talking about what priority comes first after you. You wouldn’t be doing anybody a service by ignoring your own needs, trying to service others from a state of misery, and—as the proverbial expression goes—fill family members’ cups from your empty one. There’s a bit of a caveat when considering high-need dependents. And even then, the priority of the dependents and the needs of the self should be intricately intertwined and considered with equal priority… looked at as almost one unit instead of two.

No—if your definition of family is limited to blood relatives. Yes—if your definition of family is inclusive of those who have proven to be the most important to you in your life. Proven is the key word. Being a blood relative who can’t be trusted… who has a history of manipulation or abuse… who takes advantage or always seems to have an agenda… shouldn’t be prioritized over someone who has proven themselves—over an extended period of time—to be the exact opposite of that. Family should be defined beyond blood.

Two fundamental keys to feeling fulfilled in life are growth and contribution. Point #1 above speaks to growth. Point #2 speaks to who you should contribute to first and foremostly. Do these two things really well and the rest—everything else—I’d say will fall into place.

Inner Work Prompt: I was asked, “Who is a person you met only once that had an impact on your life?” I answered: The Almonds Guy. What about you?

Who’s Stopping You From Growing?

Published on October 30, 2024

Is what’s stopping you from growing contingent on somebody else or yourself?

Are you waiting for somebody else to show you the way forward? Are you waiting for somebody else’s permission to do what you know needs to be done? Are you basing what you do and how you act every day on other people’s moods, how they pay you, and/or how they set up the environment’s you’re in?

Here’s the thing: the only person stopping you from growing is and only ever will be you.

The only way forward shown to you by others is the way they think works best—based on their unique life experiences—not yours.

When reflecting on permission, ask yourself if there’s another avenue forward that isn’t being guarded. Or consider the idea of doing what you know is necessary to grow and asking for forgiveness later—once you’ve leveled up… rather than waiting passively for permission all your life… and staying boxed up.

Basing what you do on other people’s moods, how they pay you, environments they’ve set up is throttling your potential. People’s moods will always be outside of your control. How people pay you is (should be) dependent on how much value you bring—not merely doing what’s expected of you within the confines of a job description. The environment is everything. If you can’t grow, heal, or influence it—leave it. Keeping yourself planted in a toxic environment is killing your growth.

There are endless choices that can be made. And when you’re considering each of them, forget blame. Point the finger at yourself and consider using growth as your north star.

…It’ll never lead you astray.

What To Do With Dread

Published on October 24, 2024

I’ve been dreading taking my car to the shop for its annual inspection for a couple months now.

And not for any reason other than it’s an inconvenience in my day. You know how it goes: I have to arrange for someone to pick me up (and inconvenience their day), figure out what to do for the unknown amount of time it’ll take for the inspection to complete, and then arrange a drop back off once that call comes at some random number of hours later (please stay on call for me while I wait)…

Lucky for me, I have retired parents who can actually be that flexible person for me.

…And you know what?

Today, my mom picked me up after I dropped my car off… we stopped over at my sister’s house and took care of her cats… we got breakfast and caught up for a few hours… we did some errands and crossed a few shopping items off both our lists… and it turned into a really nice excuse to just spend some time together.

My inner work prompt for you today is simply this: where’s the opportunity in this task that you can’t help but feel dread towards? How might this be used or transfused into an excuse to do something nice/fun/productive?

Insinuating Remarks

Published on October 22, 2024

I uploaded a picture quote today that read, “Strange, isn’t it? You know yourself better than anyone else, yet you crumble at the words of someone who hasn’t even lived a second of your life. Focus on your own voice; it’s the only one that matters.”

…Not even one second of your life.

And yet, we crumble from a singular, insinuating remark.

It really is strange, isn’t it?

Why does this happen? Or maybe better yet, why do we allow this to happen?

One answer is that while, yes, we should know ourselves better than anyone else… in a lot of ways, we’re still figuring ourselves out. And those insinuating comments meander their way into our complex thought processes and become virus’ of the mind that infect the software of our brain.

…Unless or until we protect it.

How do we do that you ask?

By doing the necessary inner work that’ll upload firewalls and security checks to visiting comments and thoughts. This might involve 10-30 minute mindfulness scans and debugging sessions. Or downloading what’s been uploaded to your mind at the end of the day, writing about it, and cleaning up any infected files or malware attempts. Or proactively blocking sources of malware and spam—be it people, media profiles/sites, or places.

By focusing more on your voice—your cleaned up, uninfected, firewall protected voice—you can insulate yourself from these type of common, everyday, modern attacks and become the type of presence that doesn’t crumble, but stands smirking at the lame attempts of insinuating words because you see them (finally) for what they really are.

…Attempts to infect and control you that are baseless and really don’t matter.

What’s Now

Published on October 20, 2024

While playing football this morning, one of the quarterbacks commented on how upset he was that he threw a couple of interceptions.

While playing basketball shortly thereafter, guys would visibly and viscerally get upset when they missed a series of shots in a row.

And while talking to a friend, it became evident to me that I was still upset about a situation that happened days ago.

In each of these situations, the past was being carried into the present—and it was affecting all of our abilities to perform our best.

Learning how to leave these past moments in the past and enter each present moment as its own refreshed opportunity—is nothing short of a superpower.

And the best way to do this is to learn how to stay calm when mistakes are made, clearly take from them the lessons you’re able to extract, and breathe yourself confidently back into the present.

What’s done is done. What’s now can either be a darker night or a rising sun.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week here.