Skip to content

Category: Identity

Being Yourself Comes First

Published on May 10, 2022

If you’re having a hard time being yourself, rather than question yourself (what’s wrong with me?!), question everything else.

Being yourself shouldn’t require effort. It should never beget self-consciousness.

Being yourself should be effortless. It’s what comes from an absence of self-consciousness.

Being yourself is you in your raw, pure, and untainted state.

If what’s coming from you isn’t that—then it’s because of a factor that’s foreign to you.

That foreign element is making you (or has made you feel) reserved, fearful, and doubtful.

Question who or what that source might be (or has been):

  • Are you interacting with people who are hyper critical and demeaning?
  • Is the work you’re doing demanding that you act a certain kind of way?
  • Are you being influenced too heavily (brainwashed) by media and TV?

Once you’ve identified what foreign elements are causing you internal conflict—remove as many of those influences from your life as you can.

Anything that moves you away from yourself should be removed (or at least mitigated) from your life without hesitation.

And anything that makes you feel more yourself should be more included in your life without hesitation.

Nothing in life goes well when you’re not able to be yourself.

Being yourself comes first.

The Cost Of Travel

Published on April 21, 2022

You can travel 5,000 miles, hike to the top of 100 mountains, lounge at 50 beaches, sail all seven seas, and step foot in every country of the world…

And still not find yourself.

Sometimes outward exploration becomes synonymous with inward exploration.

But, self-discovery isn’t always the byproduct of travel.

Inward reflection is where “selves” are found.

And inward reflection doesn’t cost a thing. No planning required. No time off work needs to be submitted.

You simply need to create space for stillness.

You know, the same way you would when you step into an awe inspiring scene of nature.

See, travel can be used as a hack that elicits stillness, but don’t get it twisted…

Stillness is available to you every day. And waiting until you travel far-and-wide before you explore your inner workings is a costly way to live.

Better to create some space, put on some noise-cancelling headphones, and start doing some of that inner exploring today.

Creation Renewed

Published on March 23, 2022

Creating is self-expression in its rawest form.

We take already expressed things from the world, mix and mash them up with our ideas, and end up with a never before expressed thing that we get to share.

Which is why, the ultimate win from a creation is a renewed desire to create.

Because self-expression isn’t something that’s ever done—it’s as living and as breathing as we are. And the more we create—the more we express ourselves—the better we get to know ourselves.

It’s also our creations that act as the very foundation of our legacies—what better way to be remembered than by referencing what we uniquely expressed?

With that in mind, here are some gentle reminders for you to keep in your back pocket as you continue to create:

  • Treat “success” cautiously—it leads to contentment and distractions.
  • Treat “failure” cautiously—it leads to frustration and disappointment.
  • Both success and failure can improve the creating process, but they often lead us astray.
  • With each experience, the ultimate goal should be to quickly discard what isn’t useful, carefully apply what is, and return to the work humbly and with a deeper understanding (of ourselves and our work) than before.
  • If the byproduct of what you’re creating is leading you further and further from creating—something is probably wrong.

Remember, the ultimate loss from a creation is an extinguished desire to create.

When Authenticity Is Hard And When It’s Easy

Published on March 17, 2022

Authenticity is about congruence between our deeper values and beliefs (i.e., a “true self”) and our actions.

via Chris Do, Twitter

Being authentic is hard when:

  • We let other people dictate our actions.
  • We let media consume all of our downtime.
  • We let our ego control the thought processes of our minds.

Because we live in a world that is constantly pushing its influence on us from every angle, it can be hard to figure out what it is that we actually think.

And without that clarity of thought, of course our actions are going to be misaligned.

Being authentic is easier when:

  • We reflect deeply on and identify our values and beliefs.
  • We make space to process, organize, and remix the information we consume.
  • We control our ego and use it mindfully to serve us (rather than the other way around).

Until we choose to put up boundaries to block outside influences, we will continue to get pushed around and act in ways that are misaligned, unnatural, and confusing even to ourselves.

Boundaries to the outside world are precisely what’s needed to process, organize, and remix. It’s precisely how we settle our mudded minds. It’s precisely how we quiet the ego so we can hear the whisper of our Self.

In short: being authentic is hard when you let the world tell you who you are. Being authentic is easier when you listen to your Self, decide who you want to be, and tell the world who you are.

And while the latter can challenging in its own respect, it will always be exponentially easier than living an inauthentic life.

Be It Then Become It

Published on March 11, 2022

You don’t start acting like a black belt when you get a black belt.

It’s only after you’ve acted like a black belt long enough that you finally receive one.

The same is true for any other identity you want to embody in life.

You become it by acting like it long enough.

The “becoming” doesn’t happen first.

Ego vs. Self

Published on February 12, 2022

Underneath all of the loud, invasive, and pushy mental chatter is a voice that’s quiet, subtle, and powerful beyond measure.

That quiet voice is our authentic, “capital S” Self.

The loud, obnoxious voice is our Ego.

The Ego is hyper-comparative, is easily manipulated by outside influences, and desperately seeks control over the mind.

The Self is comparison-resistant, requires a deep impression for change from an outside source, and (fundamentally speaking) is the mind underneath all of the noise from the Ego.

It is as though the Self is the news of the world and the Ego is the news network that reports primarily for ratings.

Let the Ego take control and you get never ending BREAKING NEWS cycles, short-lived (and quickly irrelevant) urgent stories, and “if it bleeds it leads.”

Let the Self guide you and you get deeply insightful stories, long-lived “evergreen” type content, and “the truth will set you free.”

The interplay between these two forces is ever-present and plays a significant role in how we experience daily life.

The Ego, when left unattended, will operate exclusively for ratings. And all ratings without a depth of content makes for a very superficial, flaky news network.

The Self, without the presence of an Ego, will operate exclusively for depth and truth. Which has its own drawbacks. Because all depth and no ratings (appeal to an audience) makes for a very small time news network.

The ideal is a type of harmonious relationship between the two.

We start by building a solid foundation of truth, identity, and understanding of the Self and then use the Ego (without letting it use us) to serve those truths in powerful, appealing ways.

Forcing Original

Published on January 26, 2022

Don’t “try” to be original.

You already are original.

Just surrender to your originality.

And stop trying to force what’s already there.