Category: Identity

If you lack confidence, it’s not something you can just pull from thin air or positive thinking.

Confidence is something that is built tangibly—in reality.

It’s something that requires a stacking of little successes that slowly… slowly… build a track record we can start to believe in.

If we have never done a thing successfully—ever—even in a small way, of course we’ll have a crippling lack of confidence.

Confidence comes when we get out of our head and get focused on doing more in the world—one small, aligned success at a time.

P.s. I asked: What gets you to do the thing you know you need to do when you REALLY DON’T want to do it? I hope the replies help. :)

We don’t start acting like our highest self once we become them… at some distant and arbitrary point in the future.

We visualize, channel, and call upon the thoughts/ beliefs/ actions of our highest self NOW and slowly, slowly…

After having acted like them for long enough… embody and become them in a not-so-distant and deliberate point in the upcoming present.

I was surprised when I saw Willow performing scream metal on SNL.

And I was also surprised to read how many people were hating on her for it.

Because what I saw was somebody who was smiling, dancing, passionate, absorbed, and fully expressing what appeared to be her authentic self.

Maybe scream metal is what joy looks like for Willow? Why throw hate on that? Maybe if we each could express ourselves as unapologetically as Willow, we’d be screaming with full, raw emotion too.

Assuming this really is Willow’s authentic sense of expression and does give her a sense of joy… imagine her copying and pasting the lifestyle of, say, Kylie Jenner instead.

Not that there’s anything inherently wrong with Kylie Jenner’s lifestyle, but copied and pasted onto Willow’s life? …I’d say it would feel completely backwards.

And what would follow probably wouldn’t be a sense of joy—even though joy is what Kylie (probably) gets from her lifestyle. What would follow would likely be misery, imposter syndrome, and a dulled existence.

And what we need isn’t more dull, copy-pasted humans—what we need are more humans who have come alive and who can unapologetically scream from the rooftops about it.

So, before you copy and paste someone else’s lifestyle onto your own because they appear to be joyful—uncopy and don’t paste. Look within instead. The answers are already there. You just have to give yourself permission to unapologetically express yourself.

Translated loosely: do you and forget the haters.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

Sharing publicly a highlight-reel version of our lives feels like it’s in our best interest because it:

• Makes us “more attractive”
• May lead to more opportunities
• Can capture attention that can be leveraged

What’s really in our best interest is sharing an authentic version of our lives because it:

• Attracts an authentic tribe
• Leads to more aligned opportunities
• Captures attention from the right people

Worth mentioning that these two aren’t mutually exclusive, though.

A public presence can certainly feature both—we can have an authentic highlight-reel.

But, more often than not, the former is focused on at the expense of the latter. And our mental health pays a toll in the long-run.

P.s. I asked: “What cleanses your soul?” I hope the answers inspire you to do more of what cleanses yours.

As soon as you stop doing inner work, ego wins control.

The problem with ego winning is:

• Ego is instant gratification driven
• Ego will fight at all costs for its comfort zone
• Ego likes plug-your-ears-la-la-la as a solution to problems

Inner work challenges each of these tendencies and asks important questions. Things like:

• “Is this really all I’m capable of?”
• “Is comfort the purpose of my life?”
• “Will I look back and be proud of these decisions?”

And if you’re not sure who’s in control upstairs, go ahead and try answering those questions for yourself.

Are you steered towards “La-la-la” or intrigue?

You might be surprised.

P.s. I asked, “What is it exactly that makes your best friend your best friend?” Here are the answers. A great place to linger if you’d like to build more solid relationships in your life.

Within the landscape of our mind isn’t just one voice.

There’s the voice of the Ego and there’s the voice of the Self.

Ego arises effortlessly. It’s one of the byproducts of being emotional, social, imperfect creatures.

• When we experience undesirable emotions, Ego fights for immediate comfort (e.g. suppression).
• When we experience social hierarchy, Ego fights for expedited means to the top.
• When we experience imperfections, Ego fights for distraction.

Self doesn’t arise. Self is tapped into as a result of inward effort. When we find ways to tap into this infinite wisdom, then we find different answers to the same human conditions:

• When we experience undesirable emotions, Self accepts their presence and allows them to flow.
• When we experience social hierarchy, Self returns to authenticity and reminds us of our own journey.
• When we experience imperfections, Self reminds us of our infinite, untouchable worth.

Ego is comparative, competitive, and comfort oriented. Self is authentic, gift giving, and long-term oriented.

The dynamic worth noting here is that the Ego wants to be the only one heard. It’s loud, obnoxious, and wildly distracting. The Self is subtle, quiet, and speaks in whispers.

This is the root cause of much of our inner conflict and self-imposed suffering.

They are both answers to one of our fundamental driving forces as humans: to seek pleasure and avoid pain.

Ego, however, isn’t a good guide. It’s interested in the immediate gratification and pain avoidance. Self, knows that this usually leads to compounded long-term pain. It’s the Self that can best guide us forward. But, if we never take the time to quiet the Ego… we’ll never hear it.