Exercise isn’t something you ever complete.
Maybe after a session, sure, you can check it off your daily to-do list.
But, when tomorrow comes or maybe the day after that, guess what? …There it is again.
Understand this and maybe you’ll stop exercising in ways that make you hate exercise.
…Understand this and maybe you’ll stop doing all things that can’t be completed in ways that makes you miserable about doing them again the next day.
…Stands for, What Would Jesus Do—and is a powerful framework for decision making that is/was practiced by millions… maybe even billions.
The idea is simple: when thrusted into a situation that makes you angry, upset, frustrated, etc., you pause for a moment and ask yourself, “What would Jesus do in this situation?” …And then you use that framework to guide your decisions forward.
It’s very helpful to use people as points of reference when we’re in need because while they might not have ever commented on how to handle each and every specific situation that comes up in your life… what they offer instead are embodied values and principles that, maybe we’re still working to embody, but can borrow from.
And it’s through this process of borrowing embodied values and principles that we embody them ourselves. It’s simply a matter of casting enough character and identity votes so as to tip the overall ballot into our default and ongoing behavior.
My challenge for you today is this: pick someone who can be this guiding light for you. Or maybe even better, do a deep visualization of who you are at your highest version and use that as your guiding light.
…Because trying to figure out specific answers to very specific problems can oftentimes only exacerbate the problem.
…But visualizing what Jesus, or Gandhi, or Mother Teresa, or Nelson Mandella, or your highest version would do—can oftentimes give you a clarity in a heartbeat that you might feel you so desperately need.
…This is what my friend with Alzheimer’s says at the end of most of his thoughts.
He’ll finish telling me a story about his life or sharing an idea or answering a question and he’ll say, almost every time,“Well… life goes on…”
Specifically, and maybe most potently in my mind, I remember him telling me how he went to several brain doctors to see what they could do to help him and they each essentially said,“Nothing really”—and I can still see him taking a long pause, taking a breath, and letting the words fall from his lips as naturally as the breath would’ve swirled into the surrounding air… “Well… life goes on.”
…Why utter these words so frequently?
…To me, it’s a statement of surrender.
…But, not in a bad way—in the most important of ways.
In the way that comes after the due diligence… after the heavy research and experimental trials and errors… after the “buying the best money could buy” and using every connection you’ve ever even faintly connected with…
Yes… after all options have been exhausted and the reality of a situation hovers overhead…
It’s a mantra that allows you to surrender to that reality… and rather than fight against life… it allows you to get back to the living of it.
Because just as there were names forgotten… there were dance moves remembered.
And just as cups of tea were lost… there were meaningful conversations found.
And just as memories were fading… new memories were made.
Because, yes, indeed…“life goes on.”
…But if we don’t surrender from the fighting, we’ll miss what’s available now and all that’s left to see.
I started teaching adult martial arts classes when I was young.
I remember being in high school and college, getting in front of a class of parents, higher ranking black belts, and business professionals thinking to my self, “Who am I to be giving these people lessons?”
But, I was thrusted into the position nonetheless and forced myself to add as much value as I could to make myself feel better.
And most of what I taught was essentially just copy-pasted techniques, tactics, and strategies from my instructors.
…But, I can remember a few very distinct moments in my journey when I decided to take a risk and do something of my own.
Once such moment was a time I decided to completely change the format of the class and do self-defense first rather than last. My thought being that’s how it’s going to be in reality, so why do a warm-up for self-defense in class?
Another such moment was a time I decided to create a 12-week strength training program that would assign specific exercises, reps, and sets in each class (instead of just doing spur of the moment, arbitrary exercises) that could replace resistance training at the gym.
And another moment, one I still remember vividly to this day even though it has been 15+ years… is the moment I decided to give an off-the-cuff speech at the end of class highlighting things I learned from study… to hopefully inspire these people who were two, maybe even three times my age.
…And I’ve been working on that last one ever since.
My point being: don’t pray for easier jobs; challenge yourself to do the hardest ones… better.
I asked one of my martial arts students after she tested yesterday, what she felt good about from the last three months… and she said her patience in her ability to not push herself too hard or too quickly when healing from an injury.
Couple this with my morning workout when I was doing heavy squats and felt my back twinge in a way I knew it wasn’t supposed to. I pivoted exercises so quickly that somebody watching might’ve thought it was all according to plan.
Both this student and I have been in situations where we’ve been impatient. And we pushed ourselves too hard or too quickly and it resulted in even more pain and delays. When you meet these pains and delays with denial… it’ll only ever lead to more and more of the same.
When you meet the pains and delays with inner work… and reflect more carefully on how you got there… and better understand the warning signs and bodily communication… you solidify your understanding of the situation so that moving forward, you get less and less of the same.
…Until eventually, you can feel the pain just barely start to come on and you can pivot like it was all a part of the plan anyway.
…Because after all, in the grand scheme of things, who’s to say it isn’t or wasn’t?
Remember that when it’s inconvenient to do something… it may be in that exact situation that you prove another thing’s (or person’s) priority.
…Is it inconvenient to go out of your way to do an errand for someone else? Does it also prove that person’s priority?
…Is it inconvenient to cook a full meal vs microwave something frozen? Does it also prove your health’s priority?
…Is it inconvenient to wake up early before your dependents so you can have some “You Time”? Does it also prove how you prioritize self-care?
We are wired to take the path of least resistance. But sometimes, the long-term path that results in the least overall resistance is the higher resistance path now.
I visited a friend this past weekend who has Alzheimers.
It was a bit of a shock to show up, announce his name, and give him a hug only for him to stare blankly back at me and ask me who I was.
…Granted, we’ve only spent three Burning Mans together as a part of the same, larger camp, which maybe amounts to 15-25 interactions buried inside a rich and long-lived life… but still… we have some rock-star memories together.
And this was coming from a once very sharp guy.
…He was an educator.
…He was a pilot.
…He built his own home from the ground up.
…He was incredibly well read.
…He had remarkable taste and skill in the arts.
And so when he asked me who I was… or when he couldn’t remember the word for “wood”… or when he asked what “cantaloupe” was—as he finished eating it off his bagel (yes, you read that right)… it was heartbreaking.
And yet…
…As I looked around his home—the one he built from the ground up—and felt the warmth that radiated not only from the loving visitors that shared his space for the weekend—but from the decades of love that was proudly featured in every available space, that was crafted under each step and met with each touch, that was baked into every possession and crevice and quirky detail…
…It made me feel better.
…Knowing that when he forgets—at least he’s blanketed with evidence of a love and legacy many of us would kill to have lived and remembered even just once.