One of the most powerful reframing questions I’ve ever utilized.
If this isn’t already tightly woven into your mental frameworks for confronting life—you’re missing out BIG.
P.s. Today, I also published: 20 Powerful Phrases That Will Change Your Parenting Forever.
Healing is as much a gift for us as it is for you.
Don’t ever sacrifice time to heal because you think it’ll upset people…
It’s you feeling like you don’t have time to heal that’s causing all of the upset.
“Don’t look back—you’re not going that way.”
I disagree.
Looking back is precisely what you need to do if you’re going to keep moving forward in your life.
I’m not saying to dwell. Nor am I saying you should only look back. But, another way to say “looking back” is to reflect.
And careful reflection is key to calibrating your internal compass. You know… the internal compass that tells you which direction is forward in the first place!
What many people don’t realize is that without a properly calibrated internal compass, forward is merely a guess. And guessing isn’t a good strategy for moving forward in life.
I say, look back; reflect carefully; learn from past experiences; become a strategic, forward-moving boss who utilizes insight from their past to expedite their journey forward.
And don’t ever let yourself assume that you know all there is to know about your past.
As you age, grow, mature—the lens through which you look at past experiences will change. And how you understand those experiences will need updating and revising accordingly.
This is why we should keep looking back—all throughout life.
Change the mantra from: “Don’t look back—you’re not going that way.”
To: “Look back occasionally; calibrate; ensure you’re going the right way.”
Read my full rant on this here: Everyone Who Says You Should Never Look Back Is Wrong
The more tired you are…
The LOUDER the excuses get.
Prioritize rest.
Even if more rest means less time.
Because more rest also means less wasted time.
And time wasted is the ultimate loss.
Make healing a part of your daily routine.
Why? Because pain will continue to be a part of your daily experience.
Waiting until you completely breakdown isn’t a good strategy—yet it’s what most people do.
If it ain’t broke don’t fix it, eh?
Well, here’s the reality: we’re all broke. If this weren’t the case then we’d each be perfectly unbroken.
Which, of course, isn’t true.
We all have pain. And we’ll all continue to have pains—it’s one of our shared realities in life.
When our pain is left un-confronted it metastasizes—until eventually it takes over our entire experience.
It’s only when our pain is confronted (via healing practices) that it may finally fade—and eventually leave our daily experience.
P.s. I also published an article in “In Fitness And In Health:” 11 Lessons For Life From 21 Years of Martial Arts Training (8min read). I’d love it if you checked it out. :)
That big, tough problem you’re facing in your life right now?
There’s an answer for that.
And if you’ve spent more than 5 hours thinking about it (and to no avail on a solution)…
Might I suggest reading cover to cover a highly rated book that was created specifically to solve the exact problem you’re facing…?
It’s definitely out there.
And it’ll likely take you less than 5 hours to read.
Self-worth isn’t something you find in another person.
Self-worth is something you find in your-self.
You might find borrowed validation, temporary belonging, and fleeting feelings of encouragement from others.
But, once that fades or situations change, you’ll be left feeling unworthy and craving those external sources all over again—they become a crutch.
This isn’t to say that external sources of validation, encouragement, and belonging aren’t useful. They most certainly are—especially at the earliest stages of our development when we’re trying to figure out who we are and how to act.
But, there needs to be a point where we move from being dependent on them, to being independent and able to create our own feelings of validation, encouragement, and belonging.
And everlasting, self-sustaining sources of self-worth come from a careful, deliberate, internal watering of the seeds of our identity. It comes from the inner work where we confront the question of who we are (or who we are not) and all of the associated questions that piggyback with it.
And with the help of others, inner work, and enough time—our roots will eventually entrench themselves deep enough into our mind’s soil so that the trunk and branches of our identity will be able to reach freely towards the heavens without any need of crutches or support from anything else.
But, without the inner work—without the work we do our-self—we will be forever tied to the crutches that were only there for temporary support and those external sources of strength will become one of our biggest sources of inner weakness.