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Matt Hogan's Blog Posts

Who/What Are You *Really* Saying ‘No’ To?

Published on July 24, 2022

Instead of saying “Yes” because you’re worried/ scared/ anxious about saying “No…”

Meditate for a brief moment on ALL of the other opportunities/people you’d be saying “No” to if you said “Yes…”

  • Saying “Yes” to another obligation = Saying “No” to every other task you could be engaging in during that time instead.
  • Saying “Yes” to that social outing you don’t want to go to = Saying “No” to all of the self-care activities you could be doing instead.
  • Saying “Yes” to more time at work = Saying “No” to more time with family, friends, your lover, or yourself.
  • And so on…

This was the advice I needed to hear that (finally) made saying “No” exponentially easier.

I hope it does the same for you.

P.s. Today, I also published Adam Sandler’s Speech from Hustle [2022] “Never Back Down”

Befriending The Ego

Published on July 23, 2022

“The body is the first student of the soul.”

Henry David Thoreau, via MoveMe Quotes

…And the ego is what intercepts the soul’s communication to the body.

If we don’t learn how to befriend the ego—it will always be our enemy.

What makes the ego our enemy is its relentless desire to choose immediate over delayed gratification. The ego wants comfort now. It wants pleasure now. It cares nothing of later.

And it is in this one main desire—to seek immediate pleasure and avoid immediate pain—that our body suffers. Because what’s generally good for us is what involves delayed over immediate gratification.

If we want our body to succeed—the soul’s first student—we need not underestimate the ego and its deceptive, cunning powers. We need to come prepared. Like a parent ready to confront a moody toddler that’s about to choose violence.

We need to keep our beliefs clear; our boundaries enforced; our strategies at the forefront of our mind; our patience overflowing; and our love (not our tolerance) unconditional.

We have to find easy (easier) ways to do the hard things now, so that we can achieve the later outcome of peak overall health that each of our souls want us so badly to achieve.

For more thoughts on the ego, you can browse my collection of 45+ quotes & resources here.

What higher purpose does this serve?

Published on July 22, 2022

If it doesn’t—stop doing it.

  • Arguing for your limits?
  • Dwelling on what can’t be changed?
  • Hiding deep in a comfort zone hole?
  • Spending time with energy vampires?
  • Spewing hate/ anger/ disrespect/ toxicity/ blame?

…There just is no place for things like this in a life that lasts but a blink across the span of time.

Rise above the diminishing behaviors. Make your blink a damn good one.

Correctly Deploying Optimism

Published on July 21, 2022

Being optimistic doesn’t mean you have to be happy all of the time.

In fact, trying to be “happy all of the time” and denying or suppressing all other emotions is a great way to not be happy all of the time.

The real power of optimism comes to light when it’s strategically used to confront the heavier/ tougher emotions that undoubtedly will arise.

Because what optimism gives us is the assurance that things can be improved—that there’s hope for a better tomorrow. And it’s precisely what makes the confronting tolerable.

Much more tolerable than looking at the heavy/tough/hard emotions from a lens of pessimism and telling yourself that it’ll never get better… that it’s hopeless… that there’s no point.

Suffering is a reality. Trying to live as if it’s not is emotional avoidance. Calling emotional avoidance “positive thinking” is toxic for your mental wellbeing.

Deploying an optimistic perspective upon emotionally tough situations is the first, most-important step to solving/ improving upon any undesirable situation. Because it’s precisely what gives you the belief that the problem can actually be solved/ improved upon.

Pessimism won’t do that. Hopelessness won’t do that. Avoidance won’t do that.

And from that solid foundation of a hopeful future, you’ll be able to finally take the deliberate, patient action that’s required for any kind of change to take grip on reality.

Not so that you can be “happy all of the time,” but so that you can contribute all of the time to a better and more enjoyable future: for you, for me, for us.

Always Upbeat; Always Positive…

Published on July 20, 2022

A friend of mine once said, “I want to always be known as the upbeat, energy guy.”

…So, he focuses on being perceived as positive and optimistic 100% of the time.

While on the surface this might sound admirable, a closer look might reveal how a strategy like this could actually backfire.

The reality of life is that we’re going to suffer. We’re going to be hurt. There’s going to be pain and upset and anger. And if we try to mask or suppress these feelings in an attempt to “remain upbeat”—we’re only going to end up magnifying them further.

This, of course, makes being upbeat and energetic all the harder, which worsens our state, which leads to more frustration, anger, upset—which leads to more suppression… and so it goes.

Emotions unconfronted are emotions that pressurize/ swell/ and later explode in uncontrollable ways. It is only by facing the emotions that arise and giving them the time/energy/attention they require that they may move through us and release.

So, when it comes to positivity and optimism, here’s the catch-22 that each of us should remember: Confronting the “negative” is what leads to the “positive.” Trying to only confront/ acknowledge/ reinforce the “positive” is what leads to the “negative.”

I put “negative” and “positive” in quotes because emotions aren’t inherently either. They’re just signals. And it’s up to us to interpret the signals and act on them in appropriate ways.

Masking them under an unrelenting armor of positivity isn’t one of them.

P.s. I’ll be hosting a LIVE discussion on Twitter where we dive deeper into the Art of Optimism and discuss how to best deploy it. Details here.

Are You Serious?

Published on July 19, 2022

Many people say they’re serious about their goals…

But, when it comes time to be serious about:

  • Showing up on an “off” day
  • Saying “no” to a conflicting request
  • Putting the damn phone away

They shrug their shoulders and tell themselves it’s, “No big deal.”

Herein lies the problem…

They’re actually not serious.

Being serious in the easy moments is hardly impressive.

It’s the being serious in the hard moments when seriousness is actually proved.

Thank you to the kind soul who got me a coffee just so I could “savor the moment.” This post is dedicated to you. ☕️

What to do when you’re feeling lost:

Published on July 18, 2022
  1. Acknowledge that this feeling means you’ve outgrown your old surroundings (physically, mentally, and/or spiritually).
  2. Become acquainted with your new surroundings by courageously stepping into the unknown (it’s the only way to make the unknown, known).
  3. Build connections with anyone and everyone you feel comfortable doing so by initiating conversations (not waiting for conversations to be initiated with you).
  4. Build skills that align with your aptitudes which other people might also find valuable.
  5. Work to make your new surroundings better than you found them. Be helpful. Be kind. Be generous. Be playful. Be loving. Be open-minded. Be inclusive. Be authentic.
  6. Keep exploring, getting lost, and returning to step 1.

P.s. In case you missed it, I shared the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week here.