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Category: Living Well

The Art of Being *Actually* Helpful

Published on July 3, 2024

I have two baby trees growing in my front yard.

They planted themselves and all I did was not mow them dead while cutting the lawn. And it’s been about a year now.

The one is growing in solid. Upright and sturdy. Tons of branches and leaves. About 5 feet tall.

The other is… not so much. He’s having a hard time staying upright as of late. He’s about 4 feet tall and was toppled over almost in full, laying sadly on the lawn when I looked out the front window the other day.

So, I propped him up with a makeshift crutch and he was good again.

Until today, when I looked out and saw that he’s starting to lean the other way now.

I want to help as little as possible because I know it’s through this process that he’ll deepen his roots. Which, evidently is the main difference between the first tree and this one. Mr. 4 foot either reached a little too high, too fast with his branches and/or didn’t invest enough time on the deeper, wider reach of his roots.

Of course, I can’t deepen his roots for him and the more I add crutches, the less he’ll invest in root stability himself. On the other hand, I can’t just leave him toppled over… so there’s this delicate balance going on of letting him get knocked around by the elements and making sure he doesn’t topple over and die completely.

…An act I think about often as it relates to life.

There’s trying to help… and then there’s letting people help themselves.

The art of being actually helpful is in balancing these efforts mindfully.

Not Me Justifying Not Doing Laundry

Published on June 30, 2024

Doing the laundry isn’t the issue for me… it’s the folding and putting everything back in the proper drawers that gets me. And so I’ll often procrastinate.

On the plus side, this forces me to take a closer look at the clothes that get left for me to pick from (definitely not me trying to justify my procrastination 🙃).

My new rule is this: if I’m not willing to wear it, or I put it on and immediately want to take it back off… it’s gone. I throw it into my Goodwill pile so I can donate it to somebody who will actually wear it.

There’s no reason to hold onto something that I’m not going to use. And the reality is, holding onto old clothes that you never wear, weighs you down. If you’re going to procrastinate on returning your clean clothes to your shelves, at least don’t procrastinate on lightening your load when the ideal time for removing what you evidently don’t wear presents itself.

Become The Ocean

Published on June 26, 2024

“If you don’t become the ocean, you’ll be seasick every day.”

Leonard Cohen

Try and sail forward without consideration or respect for the almighty waves and winds and depths of the ocean—and you’ll undoubtedly lose.

There is no straight line across an ocean just like there is no straight line across life.

And the more you try and force a straight line or fight the ocean’s almighty currents… the quicker you’ll fatigue, get “seasick,” and fail.

As it is in water: the harder you fight the greater the resistance—so, too, is it in life.

So, don’t fight the ocean and don’t fight life—surrender instead.

And no, I don’t mean give up or quit. Surrender to the forces of the ocean—the forces of life—and learn to align with those forces so you can more smoothly flow.

Learn how to set your sails so the wind is always at your back. Learn how to steer your ship so that the power of the waves is either split down the middle (and mitigated) or aligned with the direction you’re heading anyway. Learn how to rest and recover so that your energy levels are always replenished and ready to be deployed on even the stormiest of days.

In short: learn how to become one with the ocean, as opposed to being a rebellious little ship.

P.s. The above quote was my inner work prompt for the day. What comes to mind for you when you read that quote?

You Parties

Published on June 24, 2024

I’ve been remembering lately how I used to crash on my bed at the end of a long day and scroll through my social timelines for 30 minutes to an hour each night before falling asleep.

…And how that isn’t even a thought that occurs to me anymore.

Now, it’s always either crash on my bed at the end of a long day and read or crash on my bed at the end of a long day and sleep.

And what an incredible victory worth celebrating that is.

One that, let me tell you, I haven’t really celebrated at all.

It was a challenge that I worked hard to integrate into my lifestyle that slowly, slowly, became a part of my lifestyle which, by definition, meant it was something I didn’t have to think about once it was established.

Upon reflection, I realized that I focused on other things I wanted to challenge and change about my lifestyle instead.

…And so it goes in life, eh?

If we always only think about what we’re lacking, not doing, or could be doing better… we’ll always feel bad about where we are—if we even remember to think about where we are at all.

Which isn’t to say thinking about how we can grow is bad… it’s just to remind you to balance it with some gratitude and awareness for how far you’ve come and to throw a little party for yourself every now and again.

I mean, seriously…when’s the last time you threw a little party for yourself, eh?

There Isn’t Much Time Left

Published on June 23, 2024

…To unleash all that you are inside.

Each day that passes that doesn’t involve you realizing more of your potential, sharing your unique gifts, expressing yourself more authentically, and/or connecting more deeply with others is a day that fades to black in the timeline of your life.

…A day that vanishes from your memory.

…A day that never makes it to your eulogoy.

…A day that may only permeate into the well of your regret.

There isn’t much time left.

Do something today that’ll help you realize all that you are inside.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

Handlebars [Poem]

Published on June 18, 2024

You let go of your handlebars
As if to relinquish control
back to the universe

You stretched your arms
Straightened your spine
Softened your shoulders
And let your body free

Your arms waved in rhythm
Your head rocked side to side
Your face relaxed completely
And nothing else mattered

Not the pain of peddling
Not the hundreds of eyes
Not the torturous sight of inclines
…None of what filled my mind

And you—in but a snapshot moment
Took on a higher form
Embodied a radiance via surrender
That the grind in me couldn’t understand

Until I tried it—until I surrendered
And remembered what it was like—
Yes, remembered once again
How to actually live in the here.

P.s. You can read my other poems here.

Who Is A Strong Person?

Published on June 14, 2024

Last week, my martial arts students and I reflected on the question, “Who is a rich person?“

This week, we reflected on, “Who is a strong person?”

And the question I asked to help them gather their ideas was, “Who is one of the strongest people you know in your life?” And “Why?”

…And not a single person mentioned someone because of their sheer physical strength.

Each person mentioned somebody because of their emotional and/or mental strength.

They mentioned people who showed resilience, grit, patience, kindness, and courage in the face of adversity and unfairness in life… Parents who brilliantly juggled family, career, health, and more in spite of incredible challenges… People who were diagnosed with life threatening illnesses yet maintained a constructive outlook and found ways to carry through.

While physical strength is certainly impressive, the takeaway for me is that it’s built mostly for the individual… whereas emotional and/or mental strength is a strength that benefits every single person that individual interacts with.

I’m sure you have crossed paths with a muscle-head who was an absolute a-hole… who was, yes, utilizing a type of emotion and/or mental strength to develop their physical strength—but it was for the sole purpose of vanity… it was for themselves.

Whereas the people who develop their mental strength—by building discipline, courage, focus, respect, etc… or the people who develop their emotional strength—by practicing mindfulness, patience, openness, and do inner work… become sources of strength for us all.

P.s. One of the strongest people I ever knew was my great grandmother. Here’s why.