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Category: Living Well

“There’s No Success Without Succession”

Published on October 9, 2025

If the martial artists who founded the styles I practice kept everything they learned to themselves… and the art died with them… even if they were incredibly successful as individuals… would this be a success?

If the experts who have innovated, built, and molded the world into what it eventually became… instead decided to innovate, build, and mold only their own property and personal world… and all of their knowledge, wisdom, and insight died with them… would this be a success?

If the greatest artists who have ever lived, across every domain, never shared their art, creations, or techniques with a broader audience… and instead only hung the fruits of their labor within the walls of their own homes… and it all died with them… would this be a success?

…My thought is that there’s no shame in living a private life. But it’s also hard to imagine success without contribution and/or a carried on legacy.

Most of the success metrics people chase in our modern world do nothing for succession—and only but tickle our egos. But, if we can change that and focus on real contribution… and on teaching people how to fish rather than just on how we can leave them bigger and bigger piles of fish after we’re gone… maybe our daily efforts won’t leave behind that sometimes questionable/ fishy smell.

“Me-First Sundays”

Published on October 7, 2025

An excerpt from something I read today:

“I realized that I have been living for the emotional scraps of approval—not from strangers, but from my husband. He loves slow, lazy Sundays; I love Sundays that feed me—meditation, a run, reading, a workshop. To keep the peace, I’ve been bending toward his rhythm: cramming ‘me’ into Saturday and then drifting through Sunday beside him. The cost has been a low-grade guilt and the quiet ache of self-abandonment; I end too many weekends disappointed in myself. So I’m recalibrating. I’m not asking him to change; I’m choosing to keep one promise to myself before I keep any to anyone else. ‘Me-First Sundays’ start now: 7–11 AM are mine—long meditation, a run, a chapter, and one learning block—then shared downtime together. I want my weekends to end with pride, not apology. I choose aliveness over approval.”

One more time for the people who skimmed: “I’m not asking him to change; I’m choosing to keep one promise to myself before I keep any to anyone else.”

Because keeping promises to others at the expense of keeping promises to yourself leads to “cramming”, “low-grade guilt”, feelings of “self-abandonment”, “disappointment”—and those are just the writer’s words…

…Think about what it leads to for you.

Grow Into A Shark

Published on October 6, 2025

What comes first: the value you bring to the job… or the raise?

Some people wait for the raise before they start to improve their productivity, solve more challenging problems, take more initiative, and overall add more value to their place of work.

…But what the people at the highest career levels know is that growing into a shark is a much better strategy than waiting like a goldfish for someone to put you into a slightly bigger tank.

Little Swaps For The Win

Published on October 2, 2025

Little swaps that have made a huge long-term impact in my life (in no particular order):

  • Swapped video games with building a website.
  • Swapped pops/juices for flavored seltzer water.
  • Swapped dairy milk with almond/coconut/flax milk.
  • Swapped running around the block for playing basketball.
  • Swapped double cream, double sugar coffee for black coffee.
  • Swapped regular peanut butter for no sugar added peanut butter.
  • Swapped buying coffee to-go with brewing coffee at home and work.
  • Swapped news consumption with asking Claude carefully crafted questions about whatever I’m curious about.
  • Swapped heavily processed, high-sugar protein drinks/bars for real ingredient, no sugar added protein drinks/bars.
  • Swapped eating my dinner calories at night to eating them during my breakfast and lunch times (to intermittently fast).

…Not all at once, of course, but slowly and over the course of years. Once one is automatic, I try to add/adjust something else. Most recently, I’ve swapped Nutella/jelly for chocolate date spread. It’s much healthier and still has a pretty fantastic taste. Multiply these benefits over the course of years, decades, and even a lifetime and you can see the exponential power of this concept.

This is the way.

…A whole lot done over the course of a week? …Is next to nothing compared to the span of a lifetime. Even a month is a hardly noticeable speck.

The real change happens when things are done for years.

…And the best way to commit to something for that amount of time… is to make a change that’s small… aligned… yet mighty.

Turning Good States Into Good Karma

Published on October 2, 2025

When you’re feeling strong, remember what it was like to feel weak. For using your strength to help the weak is one of the best uses of strength.

When you’re feeling calm, remember what it was like to feel anxious. For using your calm to help the anxious is one of the best uses of calm.

When you’re feeling joyous, remember what it was like to feel upset. For using your joy to help the upset is one of the best uses of joy.

When you’re feeling outgoing, remember what it was like to feel lonely. For using initiative to help the lonely is one of the best uses of outgoing.

When you’re feeling fulfilled, remember what it was like to feel empty. For using fulfillment to pour into the empty is one of the best uses of fullness.

What I want you to read in the above statements is that we have all experienced all of the above. Not in permanent ways, but in fleeting ways. And so it will continue.

The best thing we can do within the fleeting moments of our days is (1) do things that have the best chance of resulting in the more desired states, (2) be mindful enough to recognize these states when they arrive, (3) be more deliberate in how we pay these desired states forward.

…Because it won’t be long until you find yourself in one of the lesser desired states once again. And intentionally circulating good karma is an excellent strategy for helping not only others… but your future self, too.

Half-Hearted Mixed With Resentment

Published on September 30, 2025

One of my martial arts instructors asked me what my thoughts were on another instructor’s decreased presence because of an increased presence elsewhere and outside of the academy.

…He was concerned this instructor may choose to walk a different career path and very much wanted him to choose martial arts as his career path.

My response was simple… “Let him.”

I’ve worked with high performers my whole professional life and I know that high performers within the academy are most likely high performers elsewhere as well—and this is a beautiful thing.

The mentality should never be to stop them from exploring other areas of interest or guilt them into making martial arts the exclusive focus in their life.

The mentality should be to make our art and career so appealing and exciting that they choose us over the alternatives willingly and full-heartedly.

Because if they don’t choose us willingly, then they’re going to build up resentment. And half-hearted mixed with resentment is a bad formula for any kind of a long term partnership.

…And I’m not just talking about jobs.

Spending Days On Nothing But A “Gist”

Published on September 29, 2025

Being spontaneous can be quite stressful on people.

Generally speaking, people like to know where they’re going, how they’re getting there, what to expect, how to prepare, what they’ll need, and who they might run into or see.

…But knowing all of that defeats the point of spontaneity.

Spontaneity is about trusting yourself and your intuition, your experience, and your capabilities… and leaning into the day with only a whiff of a direction or a gist of a goal.

And today, not only was I able to flex that spontaneity muscle, but I was able to do it with someone who was equally trusting.

He had complete faith in the process, carried zero worries with him throughout the day, and simply focused on contributing fully to the moments we found ourselves in.

Whether you’re being the spontaneous one or find yourself in the accompanying role… learning to trust yourself and how to contribute more fully to the overall process can lead to significantly more enjoyable days.