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Category: Living Well

On Scratching That New Car Itch

When my boss and co-worker bought new cars, I got this inexplicable, almost primal urge to do the same.

The new-car-thought became a part-time obsession and I hunted through digital lots like a hunger crazed Neanderthal navigating prehistoric landscape.

…But I also do a healthy amount of daily inner work.

And so I leaned into this urge with eyes wide.

I understood that the forces at work were, yes, maybe something primal, but also largely a brainwashed modern belief that faster, sleeker, more expensive was what I needed.

I eventually narrowed in on this beautiful, beast of a car that was expensive, but within my means.

It was either that, I decided, or I would reinvest in my current car—one that was still running beautifully, was a beast in her own right, and—most importantly—was completely paid off.

The financial difference between these two decisions was almost $20,000.

And when I told a friend what I was thinking, he leaned in and almost whispered in my ear, “Upgrades for your current car won’t scratch that new car itch.”

And it was in that moment that I knew what I “needed” to do.

And so I whispered back to myself, “Challenge accepted.”

And I not only reinvested into my car (and saved $20,000), but I reinvested back into myself.

…Because taking care of what you already have, growing appreciation, and quieting the endless noise about more is exactly the kind of work my inner was signaling for right from the moment I told myself that story about those two new cars.

The Life Cycle Of Words Read

With the amount of information that gets firehosed at us each day—it’s no wonder we so often rush when taking in words.

But it’s the space in between reading pieces—especially pieces that have different authors—where all the magic happens.

…Space for the words to saturate in the mind.
…Space for the mind to exhale after having taken a fresh inhale.
…Space to turn inward and see what’s been stirred up from what’s just been introduced.

Space (and time) is how we move from surface understanding towards internalization.

The image I hold in my head is like the lifecycle of rain:

  1. Evaporation: The movement of words from paper or screen to the sky of my mind.
  2. Condensation: The formation of those words into thought clouds… maybe even insight droplets that grow in size proportional to the space given and time they’re held.
  3. Precipitation: The heat of our attention mixed with the cool vastness of our mind’s vast unconscious understanding create water droplets that eventually fall onto the surface of our mind.
  4. Understanding: Depending on our attention, intention, and internal environmental condition of the space we create and hold for the rich precipitation that runs down the crevices of our mind… will determine our level of understanding, application, and internalization.

When we rush one piece to the next, the clouds in the sky of our mind move as quickly out as they came in.

Slowing down allows those clouds to linger. To plumpen up. To create a rain droplet size worthy of a rainforest.

Precisely what the environment of our mind deserves.

…Precisely what precipitation-less, fast moving clouds do nothing for.

It Matters

A good friend of mine told me once that his college professor said whatever he’s physically like when he’s 25 is essentially how he’ll be the rest of his life.

And what an awful mouthful of complacency crap to spew at room of knowledge-seeking students.

Does it become harder than when you’re 18? Sure. And maybe what the professor was trying to communicate is how “it’s hard to teach an old dog new tricks”—in the sense that the habits we’ve built up until that point are the habits we’re going to mostly live by there forward.

But the real frustrating consequence of this statement is the seed that gets planted somewhere in the back of our minds that whispers, “It doesn’t matter.”

  • “I’m gonna miss my workout!” …Well, it doesn’t really matter anyway.
  • “I’m tired and just want to binge eat.” …Well, it doesn’t really matter anyway.
  • “I’m stressed and feel like some beers.” …Well, it doesn’t really matter anyway.

But here’s the thing.

It matters.

  • It matters that we show up for our workout—even if we’re late and it’s just for a few reps.
  • It matters that we learn to build self-control habits for our appetite even when we’re tired.
  • It matters that we find and prioritize healthy ways to managing stress.

Every decision is a vote. And inside us are two selves running for Bodily President. What that professor above said is some smear campaign to spread fake news and elicit a lower-self win. What we need to do is spread more of the opposite, rely on truth and fight for honest small victories that elicit that highest-self win… one key vote at a time.

Bringing Quality INTO The Time

A coaching client mentioned today how frustrated she was that she hasn’t been spending enough quality time with her son.

She explained that every time she has been with him recently, she felt busy and tied up doing life things: cleaning, meal prepping, scheduling, etc…

I told her: rather than have this distracted need to be done with all the life things before she brought a quality time task to her son, maybe she could find ways to bring quality into the life things.

I told her: quality time isn’t a task; it’s a state of mind.

And the reality is: it’ll never all be done!

The key is to meet yourself where you are, let curiosity arise in the current situation, and find ways to playfully engage a quality into the time.

“An Ounce” Is An Excellent Strategy

We become writers by writing.
We become runners by running.
We become musicians by playing music.

All of the intention in the world pales in comparison to even an ounce of practice.

…Which is an excellent place to start, I’d say: an ounce.

Then simply aim to do that much again the next day… and the day after that.

Let that be your blueprint.

Soon, you’ll be lightyears ahead of most.

And it won’t be long thereafter either that you’ll notice… you’ve suddenly become.

Reconsider “Personal Development” Books

Here’s a key insight I discovered after nearly two decades of personal development reading: it comes packaged best in the classic literature section of the bookstore.

The major difference is this: self-help books give the essential, actionable, key takeaways needed for… well… personal development. It’s the stripped down version of an insight that we attempt to push into memory from the outside-in.

Classic literature, however, tells a story. And oftentimes, a story that takes hundreds and hundreds of pages to unpack and fully digest. During which time, you’re living another life… seeing reality through another’s eyes… feeling their emotions and living out the consequences of their actions in real time—as if they are your own… and you’re nurturing an understanding that grows from the inside-out.

This difference in how we retain insight and how it affects us cannot be understated.

The insight being pushed down often gets rejected by what’s already deeply rooted and has been growing for decades within. It’s like trying to blow a tree over with your best exhale.

The insight that’s planted and is given hundreds and hundreds of pages worth of space and time to grow is able to entrench its roots and become a powerful tree in its own right. Eventually overtaking the resources from the “old-ways trees” and seesaws power into the new.

So the next time you’re at the bookstore or contemplating what you’d like to dive into next—with the intention of developing yourself personally—consider the classic literature section over the self-help isle.

The classics are called classics and have stood the test of time for good reason.

8 Hours Of Cleaning

I spent about 8 hours cleaning, organizing, and preparing my house for 2026 today.

Two observations as I reflect on it:

1. Chain tasks together. Going one task to the next to the next is always easier than doing one task, stopping, and trying to start back up again. This is as true for cleaning as it is for productivity at work as it is for personal development.

2. Prepare your environment in a way that makes getting the things you gotta/wanna get done easier. Keep your workout area clean, have your workout clothes ready, write down your workout the night before, make sure the equipment you need is prepared and organized, and so on. Also: hide the bad foods in the kitchen, keep a fruit bowl out (and filled), meal plan, have healthy cravings alternatives for when you need something sweet/salty, etc.

Getting everything done that I got done today felt incredible.

If you haven’t prepped your environment like this in a while, it’d be an excellent thing to consider at the outset of 2026.