Category: Living Well

Your Future Self Is Real

Published on December 22, 2023

Most of us never think about our four year away self.

We mostly think about our today self.

And our today self is too busy to learn a new skill.

…Too tired to start a new book.

..Too lazy to build a new creation.

But, for those who find a way to get their today self to start the process of learning that new skill, reading that new book, and building that new creation… get to eventually step into a version of themself who makes them look back at older versions with a bit of cringe and embarrassment.

This is real.

And our future self is real.

And those who can learn to treat their future self like a real person are the ones who get to step into their more highly realized version(s).

Because busy, tired, and lazy soon enough lead to a regressed version of our future self. One who makes us envy where we once were. And the thought of our best days being behind us isn’t a motivating way to move forward at all…

P.s. Are you serious about realizing the potential of your future self? Both of my guides are on sale for a few more days. More here.

Using Easy To Find Alignment

Published on December 21, 2023

What’s the easiest exercise you’ve ever done?

What’s the easiest reading you’ve ever done?

What’s the easiest writing you’ve ever done?

What’s the easiest work you’ve ever done?

What’s the easiest connecting you’ve ever done?

…Because one thing is for sure, not all exercise, reading, writing, working, or connecting is created equal.

By reflecting on all of the different ways you’ve tried to accomplish the above tasks, think carefully back to the times when it was easiest for you to complete them. Thinking about times when it was hardest for you might help guide you in the right direction as well.

The answer(s) you come up with provide pivotal insights that will help you come into alignment with these pivotal life tasks. And the more aligned you are, the less resistance you’ll feel, and the more likely you’ll be to continue doing them day-in and day-out.

If the task you’re trying to make a habit of is misery inducing… you’re out of alignment. And it’s only a matter of time before you quit and yo-yo your way back to where you started.

If the task you’re trying to make a habit of feels relatively easy (compared to all the other ways of doing it)… you’re in alignment. And until you find another way of doing it that’s more in alignment… there will be no reason for you to quit or yo-yo because you’re already doing it in the easiest way possible.

…Which is an excellent strategy for building pivotal lifestyle habits in 2024.

A Case Against BIG Goals

Published on December 19, 2023

If you’re the type of person who likes to set BIG goals, but usually only commits small effort or only lasts for short periods of time… might I suggest doing the opposite this year…

There’s nothing inherently wrong with BIG goals… but, there is a problem with not following through on what you say you’re going to do. The problem slowly becomes one of self-belief and self-trust.

Saying you’re going to do something that you don’t end up doing has the same impact on your inner relationship as it does with a spousal or friendly relationship. Tell your wife you’re going to give her the world and yet haven’t even delivered a bouquet of flowers… and you’re going to develop trust issues. Tell your friend you’d do anything for them, but can’t make time to hang out with them once in a month? …And, again, you’re going to develop trust issues.

Back to my original suggestion…

What if, this year, you set a small goal, but delivered on it in a HUGE way?

What if you read one page of a book every day for the entire year?

…Or did five push-ups every day for the entire year?

…Or spent ten minutes every day completely present and undistracted with your family?

The benefit would be two-fold. First, you’ll get the inherent benefit of the task compounded over an extended period of time. But, second, and this is the real key… you’ll start building/ repairing self-belief and self-trust.

…So that when you say you’re going to do something, you (they) actually believe it.

Talk Goals Crumble

Published on December 18, 2023

Anyone can say, “My goal is to read 100 books in 2024” or “My resolution is to exercise every day” or “This year, I’m going to make six figures online.”

And in many cases… this is as far as people will go with goal setting… saying it.

Which is why… when the excitement of the new year wanes… and a few curveballs are thrown… and there’s sleepiness… Talk Goals crumble.

…Because the only thing holding them up is a weak frame of verbal commitment that’s based on an external energy source (the new year).

All goals should be Systems Goals that can be kept in place regardless of motivation levels, curve balls, and/or sleepiness.

In fact, good systems take each of the above factors into account ahead of time, EXPECT them to happen, and have an action plan ready to be deployed when they do.

Let’s take reading 100 books as an example. If we assume the average book length is 300 pages, then you’d have to read ~82 pages per day to reach 100 books by the end of the year (100 books x 300 pages each = 30,000 total pages / 365 days = ~82 pages per day).

So the system would be read 100 pages every day at [x] time in [x] place and to read at least ONE page on the curveball days, of which, you’ve accounted one day per week for (by reading more on the other days).

Obviously, personalize accordingly (my guide was built to help you do exactly this).

Bottom line: before you commit to a goal, rigorously inspect and question the system(s) you’d have to commit to in order to achieve that goal. THEN commit.

Raindrops

Published on December 17, 2023

There’s something primal about playing in the rain.

We spend so much of our time worrying about how we look, trying to keep dry, dodging the literal and metaphorical raindrops of our modern day world… that it almost feels rebellious and freeing to just say EFFIT! …And spend a few hours soaking in it all.

…And not only disregard how we look and disregard all cares about getting wet (physically and metaphorically)… but, allow ourselves to, as we all have at distinct times in our lives, feel the rain once again.

P.s. I also published: 40 Bessel van der Kolk Quotes on Trauma and Healing from The Body Keeps The Score

Less, But Better

Published on December 15, 2023

I don’t know you.

But, if I had to take a guess, I’d say you generally feel pretty busy.

…Like there aren’t enough hours in the day.

…Like you’re constantly juggling more balls than you can manage.

…Like no matter what you do, it isn’t enough and you always feel like you’re falling short.

This is the modern way… Hustle more. Do more. Make more. Maximize. Outperform.

And if it is… how’s that been going for you?

…Constantly stressed? Always overwhelmed with anxiety? Feeling insecure and wanting to drown in distractions anytime and always?

What if in 2024… you tried a new approach?

What if in 2024… you tried doing… less?

What if in 2024… instead of trying to juggle seven balls… you hyper focused on five instead?

What if instead of adding to your life… which is what most people will undoubtedly try to do with their new year resolution(s)… what if you tried subtracting from your life so you could focus more of your precious life energy on what’s essential?

…What if instead of giving essential tasks what’s leftover after long, hard days, you gave those tasks some of the best energy of your days?

What if this next year was your year for less… but, better?

What if you spent a few minutes today planning out what that might look like and started… tomorrow instead?

When Freedom Is Bad For Goals

Published on December 14, 2023

Having the freedom to do something “anytime” is the same as having something to do that has zero deadline.

And I don’t know about you, but when I’m assigned a project that has zero deadline… I back-burner that sucker until further notice.

…Until I have more time to do non-urgent things.

And I don’t know about you, but “more time to do non-urgent things” rarely, if ever, just pops into my schedule.

…And I don’t know about you, but I’m rarely in the mood to catch up on additional work when it does. It’s during those times that I’m usually most sick of work and want to unplug and do anything BUT more work.

So, I don’t know about you, but with 2024 approaching and new year resolutions on mind… I’d say we take away “anytime” from our goal timelines.

As I reflect back on 2023… I think it’s precisely this freedom to do things how and when I want to do them—without needing to report to anyone else or hit any specific deadlines—that has held me back.

And it’s funny because it’s not like this is news to me, nor do I think it’s news to you. Of course deadlines help with goal achievement. The trick, however, is in learning how to set deadlines for yourself, by yourself, when the only consequence is the freedom to change it again.

P.s. Now is the perfect time to reflect on your life’s direction. Going fast is the modern day default… going fast in the wrong direction, however, can end up being one of your life’s biggest regrets. Get your direction right with my guide, on sale now ➜