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Category: Living Well

Rhyming What You’re Inexplicably Attracted To

Published on June 16, 2025

One of my friends brought two of his daughters to basketball this morning.

Both were about eight years old.

One of them had a basketball in her hands for essentially the entire three hours we were playing. She was dribbling, watching the game, and shooting on a kids hoop. She even started counting how many makes she got and finished with around two hundred…!

The other daughter, however, couldn’t have cared less about basketball. She was completely uninterested in the available basketballs, didn’t watch any of the game, and certainly didn’t try to see how many shots she could make.

There are certain things that we’re inexplicably attracted to and things we just… aren’t. It’s nature’s way. Sure, you could try to nurture that other daughter into liking basketball and it might even work…

But, one thing is for sure… the one who is inexplicably attracted to it and tries to make 200+ shots—just because… is probably going to be able to take it further (and have more fun along the way).

Think back to what you were inexplicably attracted to as a kid. Back when there were no incentives, no pressure, and no ends in mind to the means… back when you did things just because…

These are clues as to how you might best spend your time, energy, and efforts as an adult. It may not look identical… but, it almost certainly will rhyme.

A 30 Second Tournament?

Published on June 14, 2025

A friend was telling me about his son’s first Jiu-Jitsu tournament.

He went against a kid who was way better than him, got tapped three times in less than 10 seconds each, and that was it. Over and done.

Sure, a good coach can find plenty of coachable moments buried within that sub-30 second competition that could very well lead to hours and hours of pointed, high quality training.

But, as facilitators of experiences for kids, we should also be asking ourselves if this is the best we can do for our next generation?

Whether you’re a parent or not, a teacher or not, a coach or not… adults have an innate responsibility to pave a way forward for our next generation—in the same way the generation before did for us… and the one before them.

And what we should be asking ourselves is how can we maximize the experiential learning buried within each opportunity taken? How can we increase the reps, the time on stage, the effort required… so as to expand the amount of raw experience our kids can dissect (and learn) from? How can we make the IRL experiences as exciting and rewarding (and even as time consuming) as the damn video game experiences that are competing for their attention day-in and day-out?

As an adult reading this right now, I hope you’ll at least consider this question for the sake of the kids who could be impacted by the efforts and energy of your life…

Invest In Courage And Spirit

Published on June 14, 2025

Some of the strongest people I know are the ones who have been through the most in their lives.

The idea being, of course, that strength is found in proportion to the number of adversity/challenges/obstacles faced and moved forward through.

Which means, if you want to be a strong person, it would be in your best interest to develop your courage so as to better face the adversity/challenges/obstacles of your life and then to invest in your spirit which is essentially the horse that pulls the carriage (you) forward and through whichever of the above mentioned experiences you’re facing.

If you want to develop your courage, remember that it feels the same as fear—you’re just choosing to make a different decision in spite of that feeling.

And if you want to develop your spirit, remember it feels similar to faith—you’re not sure exactly how it will all turn out, just that forward and through will lead to a better turn out than running from and away.

Without courage, you’ll never even face the correct direction (towards strength). And without spirit, you’ll be an abandoned carriage without its horse—moving exactly nowhere.

If you want to be strong, remember this and invest in courage and spirit.

Brisk Walk Black Belt

Published on June 8, 2025

Today, the Martial arts school I teach at hosted a black belt and higher degree test.

At the end of the test, one of the spectators said, “that wasn’t as hard as I remember them being… “

And what I said to them in response was, “they’re only ever as hard as the candidate makes them…. “

Martial arts tests are very much like sprints… If you engage with the test at a pace that’s equivalent to a brisk walk or light jog… of course it’s not gonna be as hard as it could be…

But, if you engage with the test at a pace that’s equivalent of a sprint and you put your whole life force into each and every move… How could it not be one of the hardest things you’ve had to do?

I’ll tell you one thing… The people who put their whole life force into the belt test put on a very different black belt/higher degree than those who give their brisk walk effort.

…And the same is true with how we engage with life.

Do It Heavy

Published on June 7, 2025

Because of sickness and some prolonged constipation issues, I went about a week without working out.

Yesterday, I had my first lifting session back and man… everything felt heavy. The weights felt heavy, my body felt heavy, even my thinking felt heavy. It was just a slog of a workout.

Today, I had my first basketball session back and sheesh… more of the same. My breathing felt heavy, my arms and lets—heavy, even the ball felt heavy when I would dribble or shoot.

…Did I curse? Did I quit in frustration? Did I try and force myself to do more than I was capable of doing?

Nope.

I just did both heavy. I let my body feel how it felt and I kept my mind focused on doing what I could in each given moment. What more was there to do?

Don’t force it. Move mindfully forward as you are and do what you will. Much better than doing nothing at all.

What Makes Me Want To Give More…

Published on June 5, 2025

When I see a student come in early and work on something I’ve taught or am curious about, I want to meet them there early and give more.

When I see a student stay late and get extra reps in on something from class or some above and beyond material, I want to stay after with them and give more.

When a students asks questions that extend beyond the scope of what’s required—that they can’t seem to figure out how to train past on their own—I want to answer those questions and give more.

When a student is struggling with curriculum and is persisting in the face of frustration, I want to step in and give more.

When a student gives more, I want to give more.

Which, isn’t to be confused with the student who constantly wants to take more.

When the student comes in early or stays late and wants me to teach them a private class… or asks questions about things they haven’t even tried to solve on their own… or wants answers to things they haven’t experienced frustration from yet… I feel like I’m being taken from as opposed to enthusiastically giving.

The difference is subtle… but, in its understanding is a powerful truth.

Invest the time, put in the effort, expend the energy yourself… and I will meet you on the other side.

Try and squeeze me for more time, effort, and energy without the match on your side… and I’ll eventually start taking away, too.

Laughably Small

Published on June 3, 2025

Does the goldfish outgrow the fishbowl? Or does a bigger fishbowl lead to growth in the goldfish?

I can argue this either way.

But, if getting a bigger fishbowl is out of your control… maybe you should focus on making the one you’re in look laughably small.