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Category: Living Well

Q4 Check-In

Published on September 17, 2025

At the martial arts school I teach at, we’re doing quarter check-ins.

This is the time when we touch base on how the last three months went and we set a goal or formulate a plan for the upcoming quarter.

This not only gives students a sense of accountability, but it forces them to reflect and plan. Which, amidst the busyness of everyday life, can easily get overlooked and postponed.

But, without these reflection and goal setting blocks… how can we course correct? How can we identify a bad trajectory? How can we set a new trajectory?

The point is it’s very hard to do so without a time block devoted to it.

The good news is that it doesn’t have to be long. Our quarter check-ins typically last 5-15 minutes. And the great news is that, generally speaking, those 5-15 minutes can alter the entire trajectory of your quarter… maybe even your whole life.

And the bad news, of course, is that if you don’t have time to do it, well… the opposite is just as true as well.

Lessons From The Playground

Published on September 14, 2025

There is so much we can learn by watching kids play at a playground.

How does one start to play? By picking something, doing something with/on it, and making it fun. A much better strategy than watching and waiting for somebody to invite you to play.

How does one play with others? By inviting them to do the fun thing you came up with or by asking others doing fun things if you can join. Sometimes this happens without even exchanging words—it can be communicated in energy. A much better strategy than sitting on the bench bored or like you’re “too cool” for any of it.

How does one keep playing without losing the fun? By playing with others who are fun to play with; by sharing the playground and being open to others’ play ideas; by making sure you’re having fun and contributing to the overall fun of the space. A much better strategy than playing with those who cheat, are mean, or hurt others; who don’t share the playground and don’t listen to others’ ideas; and who aren’t having fun or contributing themselves.

At the end of the day, our daily lives aren’t that much different from what happens on a playground… it just seems that kids are so much better at doing it and that it’s something we somehow forget along the way.

What Makes A Path *Not* Beautiful

Published on September 13, 2025

There were a few nights at Burning Man when my friends and I spent more time chasing DJs than actually enjoying DJ sets.

…And when I say chasing DJs, I mean actually chasing DJs… on bikes… in the dessert-like environment… where DJs often play on moving art-cars… and park arbitrarily all over the event.

And I’m not just talking one or two DJs… there’s a plethora of world-renowned DJs playing multiple sets… in any given direction… at all times throughout the day… in this other-worldly environment that’s packed with shiny, neon lights wherever you look… and sounds and people and art, too… all calling for your attention and steer of your bike.

…It’s quite an impressive feat to ever find anything you aimed to attend. It’s much more common to set out for that thing and end up somewhere else completely because… squirrel.

Anyway, I digress.

The secret to maximizing your time at Burning Man is the secret to maximizing your time in everyday life—because the one isn’t that much different from the other in the sense that there’s always an endless array of things we can do…

And the secret is this: When given an abundance of choices…  choose one thing fully.

If you decide to commit to a specific DJ set: commit fully.

If you decide to side-quest and have a “squirrel” moment: commit fully.

If you decide to skip it all and bring the party to you: commit fully.

And if you decide to not do anything at all: commit fully.

Each path is beautiful in its own right. What makes it not so is our desire for it to have been something else.

Special Is Defined By You

Published on September 10, 2025

“My dear Matt ~ I was just watching the video of us celebrating Drew. Thank you from my heart for instigating that. A few people told me that was the best moment of their Burn. It was beautiful. It was magical. It was profound. Thank you thank you thank you. Be well. And I love your move at the end of the clip. I am so grateful. My friend had the time of his new life.”

Here’s what I did: knowing it was one of our campmate’s last burns (for declining health reasons), I saw him walking home after a night out, and I instigated a dance celebration in his honor.

…Although I can’t take full credit because another campmate was playing the most phenomenal music set and I had several other campmates who were dancing their hearts out with me.

All I did was yell, “DREWWWWWW” a bunch of times really loudly… dance wildly around him… leaned into the moment that I felt was uniquely for him and got the rest of the campmates to dance on board.

It was an incredible night featuring some of my favorite moments from the burn. There wasn’t a lot of us, maybe 12 people celebrating this man’s legacy as a part of our camp, but it felt like there were 1,200.

…What’s interesting is that there were shows happening that night that probably had crowds of at least 1,200. But, what we shared right at our camp that night, with Drew being the central focus, was special. And not because it featured some major headliner at some incredible art car at some magical dawn/dusk time of day… but because we made it so.

Setting Your Uncompromised Soul Free

Published on September 5, 2025

While at Burning Man, a campmate made a comment that resonated deeply with me. She said, “I’m very selfish when it comes to Burning Man. I’m happy to introduce, give people the 101, and even travel with friends to and from the burn. But, while there? I need to be completely free. This isn’t just building, gifting, and dancing—there’s a spiritual component for me. And like any spiritual journey in life—I need to follow my uncompromised soul.”

This goes back to one of the points I made in yesterday’s post: Do more alone… together requires compromise and while there’s nothing wrong with that, there IS something wrong with never following your uncompromised soul.

My first year at Burning Man, I went completely alone and knew nobody there. Since then, my soul has found and connected with so much of what it needed. From workshops and classes to art and expression, from trial and tribulation to triumph and celebration, from one-off conversations to deep and long lasting connections… there are spiritual happenings that can only happen when your soul is given that uncompromised freedom.

Again, this isn’t to say there’s anything wrong with compromise. Sharing time and experiences with others also feeds the soul in equally nourishing ways. It’s simply a reminder to balance shared, compromised experiences with solo, uncompromised ones—not just at Burning Man, but in whatever ways your soul needs in everyday life.

The Secret To A Rich And Filling Life

Published on August 23, 2025

The secret, I think, to a rich and filling life… are rich and filling moments.

…Moments that are made rich and full with an unwavering devotion to the present, what’s real, and what’s right in front of our face.

The idea is as simple, yet as hard as it gets:

When sitting… just sit… be with yourself… resist the urge to chronically be doing something.

When walking… just walk… be immersed in all of the worldly elements.

When talking… just talk… be completely and totally consumed with the words.

When eating… just eat… be mindful of the experience as a whole and savor each bite.

When dancing… just dance… surrender to the pull of your soul… without fear and as un-self-consciously as you’re able.

When working… just work… do the damn thing with as much excellence as you can manage.

…And as much as you can: minimize and subtract all that distracts you.

It’s far too easy to never be where you are.

…Which, I’d say, is the antithesis of the rich and filling life.

Arguing For Yourself

Published on August 20, 2025

Exercising with your child present is not the same as exercising alone—even if it’s the same workout.

Going for a walk with an acquaintance is not the same as going for a walk alone—even if it’s the same distance.

Working at home is not the same as working in an office—even if the same amount of work gets done.

An argument can be made in either direction for any of the above mentioned sides.

What’s worth considering, however, is which side makes the most sense for you and your life… and then arguing for it.

Which sounds obvious, but I assure you, is something most of us don’t do.

…Because if exercising with your child present is consuming any of your alone time and making you emotionally exhausted… you should argue for the opposite.

And if walking with somebody who chronically complains is messing up your outdoor recharge time… you should argue for the opposite.

And if working at home is messing with your ability to compartmentalize work vs life balance… then you should argue for the opposite.

…And the same is true for the inverse of each of the above.

The point isn’t to say any one side is better than the other… it’s to remind you that if you don’t argue for what’s best in your life… who will?