It’s ironic… the people you spend time with who make time go by the fastest… are the ones you should continue to invest in.
Not because you want your days, weeks, months, years, life to fly by… but, because “flying by” is one of the surest signs we have of time well spent.
People will occasionally ask me if I have kids.
“…I have 300” I’ll sometimes jokingly say—referring to my 300ish martial arts students.
But, the more time I spend around parents—and get an *actual* look at parenting life—the more I realize how much of a joke it is to say that.
Parenting life is no joke. And I know all of the parents out there know it. But, to those who think they know it, but aren’t, let me just tell you—you don’t. There are as many different ways of parenting as there are parents.
And the thing that blows me away more than anything else is seeing parents devote everything they have (and more) to figuring out how to best educate/mold/raise their child to become a great person and community member. From the second they wake up (or maybe more properly put—get woken up) to the second they go to bed (if that ever even happens)—it’s all about that child or the children.
And what an incredible devotion it is, indeed.
This is all to say: shout out to the parents out there doing it. Devoting everything they have to the next generation even if it’s at the expense of themselves. Not all parents make the decision to parent—but if you did… and you are… thank you.
…It’s something I feel you might not hear often enough.
I watched a video the other day of a guy in a legitimate virtual interview, answering questions with an AI app, in real time.
The interviewer would ask a question, the AI would type a response on the guy’s phone essentially instantaneously, and the interviewee would simply read verbatim what it came up with.
…And the interviewer had no idea.
But, you know when they will?
…When they meet IRL.
See I’m all for AI becoming your assistant and helping you process information, come up with ideas, and create in ways that help you better do your job.
But, when you use AI to replace yourself completely? To speak for you verbatim? To act in place of your own authenticity, uniqueness, perspective, experience, and social/emotional intelligence?
…Don’t be surprised when AI does, in fact, replace you completely.
I took a martial arts class from a former UFC fighter yesterday and he said something I loved.
He described to the class a time when he competed against an incredible Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu competitor and lost.
And rather than talk trash… or print the guy’s picture out and place it on his treadmill… or even sulk in his loss and beat himself up over it… guess what he did?
…He invited the guy to his school to teach a seminar and then took a private lesson with him after.
I knew very little about this guy before I took his class, but I can tell you what… I have a pretty good idea of why he’s successful after just that one story.
I’m in Florida at one of the biggest Martial Arts tournaments in the world.
I have several students competing and took them out to dinner last night.
Two of the youngest suggested we all put our phones face down and on top of each other in the middle of the table—so we could all be more present.
And it wasn’t until they suggested it that I realized I was the one who was on my phone more than anyone else at the table.
…To my defense, I was texting people who I was going to order food to-go for, who I was going to meet up with later and tomorrow, and who wanted pics and vids.
And yet, it really wasn’t an excuse.
…There I was, at the table with around 15ish of my team members, sending texts to other people.
And it took two of the youngest to remind me: there’s a time and place for those text convos… but right there, right then? …With all of us together IRL? …Enjoying the victories of the day and talking about the excitements of tomorrow? …Wasn’t it.
“Sitting by the fire at Allegany, listening to the creek, watching the critters, and losing oneself in the fire burning down is the absolute gold of getting away to anywhere. My love of Finger Lakes the same. Yes, it’s great to get out to the wineries, or hike a trail, but it’s better to get back and watch the water…”
My father
This was a reply my dad sent to my post, “Add Sitting To Your Travel Itinerary—Yes, Sitting…“
…Which was about how you can learn just as much from a place by mindfully sitting as you can from actively sightseeing.
But, I think you can also enjoy as much from a place by sitting—by a fire or body of water—as you can from doing (e.g. hiking a long nature trail or Jet-skiing).
In fact, what’s interesting about your ability to enjoy while remaining still… is that it’s reflective of your ability to enjoy—pure and simple.
The thing about doing, doing, doing is that it’s a form of active entertainment… there’s constantly refreshing scenery, there’s dopamine hits, there’s things to do with your body and places for your mind to curiously explore… it’s easy to enjoy while doing.
But, it takes a much more mature mind to enjoy while not-doing. To enjoy while sitting still. To enjoy when things are calm, when there’s no quick dopamine hits, when there’s nothing to actively do or think about…
This is the kind of deep enjoyment that comes from deep inner work… and it eventually gets to the point where it surpasses even the most incredible of active entertainments/adventures…
Something amazing I saw on social:
“Sung Kang’s character, Han Lue, in the Fast and Furious franchise, is often seen snacking, and this is directly related to Han’s history as a smoker. In the original indie film Better Luck Tomorrow, where the character originated, Han was a chain smoker. Sung Kang decided to replace smoking with snacking in the Fast and Furious movies, as he felt it was important to not portray smoking as a cool habit to young audiences.”
I can tell you first hand, after watching Peaky Blinders and being completely captivated (borderline obsessed) with Cillian Murphy’s character Tommy Shelby—smoking seemed like an interconnected part of the character that would be hard to manifest without the cigarettes (fun fact: Cillian Murphy was never actually smoking cigarettes in any of the episodes—they were herbal cigarettes made without tobacco or nicotine).
And hearing the intentionality behind Sung Kang’s decision to take smoking out of the picture altogether was such a refreshing story to hear. Sometimes, I think we forget about the power we have over our own decisions and ultimately, our destiny. Just because others have portrayed something in a certain way (smoking = cool), doesn’t mean we have to. And just because somebody had something written in a script (doctor = only successful path), doesn’t mean we have to follow it verbatim.
You can alter your script. You can change the direction of your script. Heck, you can even write your own damn script from scratch. But, it all starts with intentionality. And intentionality comes from inner work. Without it, you’ll never know any better than to copy/paste what everybody else is doing and telling you to do…