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Category: Living Well

Half-Hearted Mixed With Resentment

Published on September 30, 2025

One of my martial arts instructors asked me what my thoughts were on another instructor’s decreased presence because of an increased presence elsewhere and outside of the academy.

…He was concerned this instructor may choose to walk a different career path and very much wanted him to choose martial arts as his career path.

My response was simple… “Let him.”

I’ve worked with high performers my whole professional life and I know that high performers within the academy are most likely high performers elsewhere as well—and this is a beautiful thing.

The mentality should never be to stop them from exploring other areas of interest or guilt them into making martial arts the exclusive focus in their life.

The mentality should be to make our art and career so appealing and exciting that they choose us over the alternatives willingly and full-heartedly.

Because if they don’t choose us willingly, then they’re going to build up resentment. And half-hearted mixed with resentment is a bad formula for any kind of a long term partnership.

…And I’m not just talking about jobs.

Spending Days On Nothing But A “Gist”

Published on September 29, 2025

Being spontaneous can be quite stressful on people.

Generally speaking, people like to know where they’re going, how they’re getting there, what to expect, how to prepare, what they’ll need, and who they might run into or see.

…But knowing all of that defeats the point of spontaneity.

Spontaneity is about trusting yourself and your intuition, your experience, and your capabilities… and leaning into the day with only a whiff of a direction or a gist of a goal.

And today, not only was I able to flex that spontaneity muscle, but I was able to do it with someone who was equally trusting.

He had complete faith in the process, carried zero worries with him throughout the day, and simply focused on contributing fully to the moments we found ourselves in.

Whether you’re being the spontaneous one or find yourself in the accompanying role… learning to trust yourself and how to contribute more fully to the overall process can lead to significantly more enjoyable days.

“Students, This Is How You Bow”

Published on September 28, 2025

I love the story of how Vince Lombardi—one of the best football coaches of all-time—would, on the first day of practice, hold up a football and say, “Gentlemen, this is a football.” And would continue by coaching topics and ideas from the ground up… assuming nothing and ensuring players were fundamentally rock solid.

Today, I began the first black belt training practice for a group of students eligible this December of 2025, teaching them how to bow properly. This is something they obviously knew—much like how the above professional football athletes very much knew what a football was. But, it wasn’t about what they knew… it was about what they thought they knew that they had actually forgotten or built bad habits around.

It’s an excellent reminder that what’s on top always balances on what’s below. And if you want to have top level performances, it always starts with elite level fundamentals. Revisit your foundation often. Take it for granted long enough, and you might one day look closer and realize it’s precisely what’s preventing you from building any higher up in your life.

On Teaching Kids How To Have Difficult Conversations Face-To-Face

Published on September 24, 2025

As a 20+ year martial arts instructor, I’d say less than 5% of the students who quit have told me they were going to do so face-to-face. The other 95% simply ghost—and I get it. It’s difficult to arrange a formal sit down with the instructor. It’s difficult to confront those feelings of maybe let down, disappointment, sadness, frustration, or moving on. It’s difficult to find the right words, to stay composed, or to know for sure if it’s the right decision…

But, the fact that it’s difficult is the point.

Think about what this teaches them… that just because ghosting is easy doesn’t mean it’s right. It teaches them that taking the extra time to arrange a formal sit down is worth it. It teaches them to put words to feelings and how to communicate those feelings to others… as opposed to just getting distracted with another busyness or obligation and hiding. It teaches them how to navigate the awkwardness, tension, and discomfort of being face-to-face with someone you’re in a difficult conversation with so that you can remain present in the space and navigate… without getting overly emotional, shutting down, and running away.

Think about what these lessons would instill in our children as they grow older and get faced with more and more difficult conversational circumstances.

Think about how many times you’ve been ghosted and how it likely was a learned behavior.

Think about how many grown adults could’ve used this kind of lesson as a child and how much different things would be for them (and you) as a grown up…

10 Minutes Per Day Could Be All It Takes To Grow Into A Whole New Life

Published on September 24, 2025

Dear busy person,

10 minutes per day could be all it takes to grow into a whole new life.

When done right, 10 minutes of stretching per day could take you from can’t touch your toes to full split.

When done right, 10 minutes of strengthening per day could take you from uncomfortable in all of your clothes to love the way you feel.

When done right, 10 minutes of inner work per day could take you from self-sabotage and overwhelm to self-love and clarity.

When done right, 10 minutes of reading per day could take you from zero books of interest read per year to ~10 books read per year.

When done right, 10 minutes of writing per day could take you from feeling lost and confused to feeling confident in your life direction.

When done right, 10 minutes of undistracted conversation per day could take you from wanting a separation to wanting to renew your vows.

…What’s life changing isn’t the 10 minutes the one time you do it. It’s the hundredth or thousandth time you’ve done it where the real impact is felt and seen.

The question isn’t a matter of time—we all have 10 minutes in our day to devote towards growth. It’s simply a matter of devotion… how bad do you want to grow (in that domain)? Because if you can’t devote 10 minutes per day towards it, the answer is: not bad enough.

And if that’s the case, maybe you should spend 10 minutes today figuring out why or to which domain you’d like to pivot to…

“…But Look At All You Remembered!”

Published on September 21, 2025

At my grandmother’s 90th birthday party this past weekend, a family member made a comment to her that she was sorry she forgot the lighter.

…And my grandmother looked around the room—at the 23+ family members, 5 of whom were under the age of 10, 7 of whom were printed onto poster board and glued to a stick (because they weren’t able to make it from out of town), the array of eaten-clean plates and sipped-dry glasses, the custom decorated cupcakes, the private room in the favorite restaurant with the incredible waitress—and said, “but look at all that you remembered…!”

“I Don’t Match The Energy, I Set The Standard.”

Published on September 19, 2025

…Is a powerful mantra to help guide you through days filled with difficult, annoying, lethargic, frustrating, unjust type people (and more).

A coworker hit you with a bunch of negative energy? Hit them back with a bunch of the opposite. Don’t match their energy; set the standard.

Eating highly processed fast food a norm in your family? Lead by example and prepare wholesome, easy, nutrient dense meals. Don’t match their energy; set the standard.

Find yourself in a situation where something wrong is happening and everybody around you is a bystander? Stand up and speak out. Don’t match their energy; set the standard.

Did you hate the way somebody taught you (or tried to teach you) a lesson? Teach that lesson to somebody else in a way you would’ve loved to have learned it. Don’t match their energy; set the standard.

Hate how divisive news, media, and politics is making our society? Turn it all off and volunteer at a local nonprofit or soup kitchen—something that’ll connect you to other humans regardless of their background, beliefs, or political standing. Don’t match their energy; set the standard.

Now go ahead and write this on your bathroom mirror or save it as the background of your phone. And keep it at the forefront of your mind so you can help us not only set… but raise the standard.