When we’re hurt, we strengthen our walls to the world—so that we might not get hurt again.
When we’re loved, we lower our guard to the world—so that we might be loved again.
The thing about being loved, however, is that it requires a lowering of our guard. And the ones who need it the most are the ones who have been hurt the most and have fortified walls against not just those who have hurt them in the past, but most everybody.
And so it begs the question: how do we keep our walls strong against those who might hurt us while simultaneously keeping our guard low enough to welcome the chance of love into our lives?
While I don’t think there’s one universal answer… I think a few additional inner work questions may give you then answer(s) you need for yourself…
- The entrance to the fortress is through a guarded gate… what does your guarded gate look like? i.e. How do you vet people before welcoming them into your fortress? What might this look like ideally?
- And for returning folks, do you believe how they’ve acted inside your fortress in the past or the promises they make about how they’re going to act this time?
- Are you walled up on a high hill in some obscure, untraveled to part of the world where nobody visits? Or are you engaging with the world and exposing your fortress to a variety of different people in a variety of different situations?
- Where are the people you’d most likely love to welcome into your fortress hanging out? How can you overlap your path with theirs?