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Category: Understanding Love

Gifting Your Presence

Published on March 9, 2024

Today, I caught one of my martial arts kids praising and saying hello/goodbye to other kids by name, completely unprompted.

“Hi, Ben!”

“Arm Shake?”

“Great job today, Alkalifah!”

“High 5!”

“See you later, Jackson.”

While this doesn’t sound like anything profound, what I usually see are kids completely consumed in their own worlds. Playing on screens, fixing their clothes, playing with toys, asking parents for money, picking out things they want in the pro-shop, etc.

…Which, if I’m being honest, is what I see from many (most) adults, too.

For a student to come in so present minded, and to have such an outward attention to the people in his environment, and to take the time to acknowledge them by name and say nice things is nothing short of profound if you ask me.

And if that’s something more of us adults could do, too, I’d say that’d be a pretty remarkable thing worth aiming for and celebrating as well.

Two Things That Make Tough Times Easier

Published on February 24, 2024

Two things that make tough times easier are 1) connections and 2) tough spirit.

Some of the deepest and truest connections are formed during tough times. And it’s worth remembering that when people are going through tough times—while it may be tough to be there to support them because of not knowing what to say or awkwardness or free flowing emotions—that’s precisely when connections are most prone to deep bonding.

So, when someone is in need, even if they’re not an immediate friend or even are somebody who’s on the outer banks of your circle of connection—reach out in spite of the resistance you might feel. You just might end up being the synchronicity or guardian angel they’ve been hoping for.

…And from my experience—the more you’ve been a guardian angel for others, the more guardian angels you tend to have yourself.

And as far as tough spirits go… we build those by doing tough things. This means we know what it’s like be utterly exhausted and still push forward. We know what it’s like to be sick or in pain and still find a way. We know what it’s like to stare an obstacle in the face, feel the fear, and own the fear by doing the damn thing anyway.

Not in a dumb way, of course. But, in the smartest way(s) possible.

Love By Me [Poem]

Published on February 21, 2024

I refuse
To look for love
Where everybody is told
Love will be

Love by everybody
Feels to be
Backwards, shallow, gray
Too screen-y for me

I see love
Dancing the night
Drowning in books
Drinking nature’s cup

Love by me
Is a love made without me
A love minus a swipe
A love that just so happened to be

P.s. You can read my other poems here.

It’s Not You [Poem]

Published on February 12, 2024

If I think about it
Carefully enough
I can make my heart skip
A beat or two
From replaying times
I was carelessly
With you

A beat or two
Compared to a year or two
Of skipped beats
And skipped stones
And skipped feet
Feels wildly inadequate
Yet fully true

And while thinking of you
Carefully enough
Happens less and less often
There’s a rhythm
My feet and heart once knew
Now my barrier of entry
No skips…

…It’s not you.

P.s. You can read my other poems here.

How I Wish I Met You [Poem]

Published on January 27, 2024

How tragic
for someone
who would’ve loved
the unfiltered
uncompromised
untainted
version of you

to meet

a version
filtered, compromised, tainted
all because
you were busy
trying to fit in
trying to find courage
trying to be…

someone else.

P.s. You can read my other poems here.

Stop Fighting For Access To Your Own Energy

Published on January 25, 2024

Boundaries are the walls of your cup that allow you to keep precious energy in.

No boundaries, no walls; no walls, no way to keep energy in.

…And the byproduct is energy overflowing everywhere, up and out from the source of your being, and left up for grabs to whoever is willing to take it—yourself included in that fight.

Fighting for access to your own energy is no way to live.

And if, in fact, you feel like you haven’t had much energy for life, it probably isn’t so much an energy problem as it is a boundary problem. More caffeine, for example, only adds to the overflowing-up-for-grabs-energy that enters the fighting arena.

Construct walls around your energy.

Build up the outer perimeter of your cup.

And stop leaving your life source up for grabs.

Serve yourself a fine cup of that tasty, juicy life energy first and foremost and deliberately choose who you’d like to serve the rest to, second.

This is the way.

The opposite only gives life to the ones who usually deserve it the least—the takers, the manipulators, the narcissists, etc.

Starve them of your life energy and let the source of their power slowly die.

P.s. I also published: The Ultimate Boundary Builder List – 101 Quotes On Boundaries To Take You From Zero to Boundary Hero

Give Gifts More Often

Published on January 21, 2024

Today, I found a gift I never gave.

It was two books wrapped with an enclosed card.

What I wrote was something sentimental and specific to the person and what they were going through at a specific time. An offering of some ideas that they might hold on to to help them carry on. And the books, of course, were thematically related to this notion.

The reason I never gave the gifts was because they slid into an out of sight position in my car and after a while, I just forgot about them completely. Once I rediscovered them, it was way past the occasion for the gift and so I just left them.

And it makes me wonder… had I gotten those gifts to that person, how might it’ve changed them? Would the words have landed? Would the books have made an impact?

Or would it have been a notion that was temporarily appreciated and then forgotten about? Would the words have fallen flat? Would the books have just been stored on their shelves and left unread?

Which makes me think… is it possible to give a gift and not have it make some type of impact on the other person? Even if the words didn’t strike a chord… even if the books weren’t read… is it possible to offer something so thoughtful and human without changing the other even one tenth of a degree in a better direction?

To which I’d say… after thinking about it… I don’t think so.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.