Category: Understanding Love

I’m Coming Back To Social Media?

Published on January 5, 2026

The first time I ever opened up TikTok, I blinked and 2 hours of my life was gone.

I deleted the app.

A few years later and… every. single. app. is. the. same.

I open up Instagram, blink, 2 hours gone.

I open up Facebook, blink, 2 hours gone.

I open up YouTube, blink, 2 hours gone.

Besides that, X feels like a toxic cesspool and Linkedin feels too business-y for me.

None of it feels aligned.

Which is why I haven’t posted to social media in as long as I have. I focus my energy on posting to this blog and have been stubbornly holding back my creative inclinations to post to social media until I found a platform that prioritized content distribution differently..

Not that there’s anything inherently wrong with short video… I just want to blink and find myself still in the same moment… surrounded by words, artistic images, and intriguing dialog—not eyeballs deep down rabbit holes I never asked to be sucked down.

And a new space I’m dipping my big toe into for 2026 is Substack. It feels like a space that finally doesn’t prioritize video shorts but rather prioritizes the written word.

Which is noteworthy because different primary content medium platforms attract different audiences. And a platform that prioritizes actively reading the written word over passive video consumption… is going to attract a much different kind of user.

One that’s maybe more intentional… more thoughtful… more engaged and ready to connect in more authentic ways…

Why? …Because it’s a more demanding and difficult medium to consume.

Which is the point.

Which is where I think my people will be.

Come check it out…?

Visiting “Mama Hogan”

Published on December 26, 2025

A childhood friend of mine, who I hadn’t seen or really even spoken to in 15+ years, FaceTimed me yesterday…

…From my mom’s house.

…With my mom!

He said when he got into town, before he did anything else, he wanted to swing by “Mama Hogan’s” house… and could only remember that the street she lived on started with an “L” and that it had a giant tree on the front lawn.

…Well his memory served him well because he found the house, rang the doorbell, and ended up chatting with her for nearly two hours.

…Like it hadn’t even been 15 days.

It was the highlight of both my mom and my’s holiday. And I share it because it was such an inspiring effort—-especially after having lived out of town for 15+ years.

This is the kind of effort that people remember. This is the kind of effort that makes “real ones.” This is the kind of effort that cements friendships, memories, and legacies.

…This is the kind of effort our modern culture so desperately needs.

Boundaries Like Laws

Published on December 22, 2025

It would be nice if you could set a boundary once and have it be as good as law.

But it’s worth remembering that even laws need to be monitored, patrolled, and enforced.

The strength of the boundary doesn’t come from the tone of your voice the one time you set it… or in the size of the intentions you have behind it… or in the seriousness of your body language when you talk about it.

The strength of the boundary comes from the strength of the enforcement of said boundary.

For example, driving 5 miles per hour over the speed limit will rarely get you a speeding ticket—it’s rarely enforced. But, running a red light? You’ll almost always get ticketed for. The latter is enforced significantly more than the former.

Now think about how this applies to the boundaries you’re trying to establish and maintain in your life. Are you setting 5 miles per hour over the speed limit boundaries that are only enforced… never? Or are you setting running a red light boundaries that are enforced every time. Think about the boundaries you’re trying to establish with yourself… your loved ones… your co-workers… etc…

People (you included) don’t respond to the announcements… they respond to the level of the enforcement.

Human-ify-ing Outreach

Published on November 30, 2025

Every year, my martial arts team and I do a food drive to support our local food shelter.

One of the most effective initiatives is going door-to-door in our local neighborhoods, dropping off flyers that ask neighbors to leave a bag of food on their porch that Sunday at noon, and then go back and pick up whatever is donated.

The dropping off the flyers door-to-door part can be tedious. Especially in a world where so many of us are used to reaching thousands and thousands with just the push of a button. Going door-to-door lets you reach about one family per minute—and that’s if the flyer even makes it into their hand(s). So after two hours of walking around in the cold, maybe 120ish families will have been reached out to—a number many people would consider inefficient given the digital alternatives.

But I think in a lot of ways, it’s a refreshing perspective resetter.

On social media, people aren’t people—not really at least—they’re numbers, they’re analytics, they’re a part of a glorified game.

When walking house to house—they’re very much people. And the scale of what 100 people really looks like and feels like burns slowly back into perspective. Especially when it involves a lot of walking, in the cold, up and down stairs, one house to the next, one conversation at a time, over the duration of few hours…

I share this in hope that we all—myself included—can continue human-ify our outreach/connection efforts. Pushing a button to reach thousands can certainly work… but face-to-face and in-person might be more of what we need.

Willingness To Be Inconvenienced

Published on November 25, 2025

Maybe one way to measure relationship importance is to measure it against willingness to be inconvenienced.

In other words: who are you willing to bend over backwards for when you’re busy? Who are you changing plans for in a moment’s notice because they asked? Who are you going out of your way for even when you’re exhausted and don’t feel like it?

The more inconveniences you’re willing to bear for a person, the greater the relationship’s importance. And vice versa.

Does this mean we live our life on another person’s schedule? Or obey another person’s every command like a servant? Or give somebody full access to our energy?

No.

It simply means that certain people have earned time into your schedule—even when it’s packed… that they have earned the right to be served your attention—even when it’s being pulled in a million directions… that they have earned energy access—even when you’re low on stores.

And maybe remembering this can help when people are “inconveniencing you” and you are “inconveniencing” other people.

Waking Up Blanketed In Legacy

Published on October 12, 2025

I visited a friend this past weekend who has Alzheimers.

It was a bit of a shock to show up, announce his name, and give him a hug only for him to stare blankly back at me and ask me who I was.

…Granted, we’ve only spent three Burning Mans together as a part of the same, larger camp, which maybe amounts to 15-25 interactions buried inside a rich and long-lived life… but still… we have some rock-star memories together.

And this was coming from a once very sharp guy.

…He was an educator.

…He was a pilot.

…He built his own home from the ground up.

…He was incredibly well read.

…He had remarkable taste and skill in the arts.

And so when he asked me who I was… or when he couldn’t remember the word for “wood”… or when he asked what “cantaloupe” was—as he finished eating it off his bagel (yes, you read that right)… it was heartbreaking.

And yet…

…As I looked around his home—the one he built from the ground up—and felt the warmth that radiated not only from the loving visitors that shared his space for the weekend—but from the decades of love that was proudly featured in every available space, that was crafted under each step and met with each touch, that was baked into every possession and crevice and quirky detail…

…It made me feel better.

…Knowing that when he forgets—at least he’s blanketed with evidence of a love and legacy many of us would kill to have lived and remembered even just once.

“It’s A Long Story…”

Published on September 18, 2025

One night, while dancing hysterically at Burning Man, three others who were dancing hysterically joined me—right in the middle of a massive crowd in front of an incredible DJ set.

In the heat of this incredible exchange, we all got to talking and one of these dancers mentioned that she was having a really emotional burn. And when I asked her why, she said it was a long story.

I told her to take her time and not to shorten it at all.

A little taken aback, she paused, looked at me to gather more information, visibly relaxed once she saw I was serious, and then leaned towards me and began…

And for the next few minutes, she told me about how one of her campmates had a miscarriage at burning man a few years ago… and how they managed to revive the baby… and how later that week… after the indescribable wave of emotions… the baby passed.

…And how deeply it effected everybody in the camp.

At the end of the story, she looked me dead in the eye, into what felt like my soul, and thanked me for saying what I said and holding the space for her to share that story.

I share this to serve as a reminder that “It’s a long story” is often a key that opens up deeper layers of a person, and to not miss your chance to open that door—if you feel like it’s appropriate—when it’s presented to you.