Category: Meaningful Connection

Before asking me what I’ve learned from 35 years of life, my dad gave a beautiful toast that featured some of his thoughts about me.

And one thing he said impressed him the most was how long I’ve been doing the important work of impacting lives—not on a “one-to-many” basis—but on a “one-to-one” basis.

This blog is a “one-to-many” form of influence/impact.

I know I’ve influenced/impacted the lives of some of the people who have read these posts.

…But, I also know I’ve influenced/impacted the lives of those whom I’ve connected with on a one-to-one basis and over an extended period of time… more.

As is how one would expect it to be.

Which isn’t to say one form of influence/impact is better than another per se.

…Who’s to say having a noticeable, but relatively small impact on 100 people is less than a comparatively big impact on one person? Or vice versa?

It’s merely a reminder to not forget about the tremendous opportunity hidden inside the “just one person” whom you cross paths with each day.

Modern society will have you brainwashed into believing that number of followers and amount of engagement determines your influence on people/society.

And, like with many things, modern society is mostly wrong.

In a world where most everybody is trying to be the “one-to-many” influencer… swim the other way… and be the one who doesn’t miss an opportunity to make a comparatively massive impact on “just one.”

…When honestly, that’s who needs it the most.

“…So, I’m trying to learn how to do this traditional Lebanese dance. It’s called Dabke.”

She said as she started stomping, shuffle stepping, and pistol squatting all while trying to get me to join in. I told her I attended a Lebanese wedding before and had heard of it, but didn’t know how to actually do it.

…This didn’t phase her.

She kept bouncing, twisting, grabbing my hand, and egging me on as though we had known each other forever. When in reality, this was the first time I was ever meeting this person.

…The best part? This was all going down in the middle of a regional martial arts tournament.

We never figured it out, but from that Dabke moment on, whenever we crossed paths at other tournaments or events, we’d pick right back up where we left off as friends that had seemingly known each other for years (until we actually did).

And that ability, to be friends with people before they even know it, is one of the most impressive things I had ever come to learn from her.

…This person was Master Elizabeth Lindsey.

And this past weekend, she got into a devastating motorcycle accident. One that has her in the ICU, in an induced coma, with a long and uncertain road to recovery. In the blink of an eye, her entire life was turned upside down.

And as you continue to blink your eyes today I want you to remember: be grateful for every moment—because each is an unfathomable gift.

And if you have a second (and the means), please consider donating to her GoFundMe.

Sometimes it can be hard enough just keeping track of yourself and your own damn life.

But, when you can become a person who pays attention to other peoples’ lives and can do something about helping them live theirs…

You’ll likely notice your own life becomes easier.

…Which from a surface level sounds counterintuitive because time and energy spent helping others is time and energy you can no longer spend on yourself.

But the catch is that time and energy spent on others isn’t ever really spent… it’s invested.

And the ROI is the time and energy that person might want to invest back into you… multiplied by the number of times they choose to do so throughout the rest of your lives.

Let that sink in for a second.

…Not every investment will give a positive ROI, though.

Which is why boundaries, inner work, and having standards are so important.

But, when they do yield a positive ROI… boy, do they.

Never underestimate or be selfish about these almighty and powerful investments.

…Another time when due diligence is critical is when considering who to spend time with.

If you kind of lazily decide that whoever shows up first and just keeps showing up is good enough and you’re not going to do anything else about it on your part, then that’s about what you’ll get…

Keep your mind open, keep taking initiative to meet new folks, and be willing to step outside of your comfortable circle of connections, and you’ll get to make higher quality decisions because you’ll have a broader selection to choose from—leading you to make connections with those who are more likely great for you.

…Which, to be clear, isn’t to say there’s anything wrong with hanging out with comfort zone homies. They undoubtedly serve an invaluable role.

Rather, I’m sure you’ve heard the expression that we become a byproduct of the five people we spend the most time with. This is merely a prompt to think about who those five people are for you right now. And think about how you might spend more time with people who are going to pull you forward towards that better place—whatever that is for you.

…Do your due diligence.

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P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

“You’re the first person to tell me they have another company coming to give an estimate in over two months of doing this with 70+ orders per week…”

This is what a sales associate told me after giving me a price quote for getting my garage door replaced.

He seemed surprised, as did the guy who represented a different company that came before him.

My intention is simple: to do my due diligence.

I want to hear them talk… I want to hear them comment on their company and competition… I want to see what kind of offers they have and if they’ll change anything after I tell them I have other companies coming… I want to see who I align with the most…

See, the first guy who came out was good. If I caved into my lazy nature and just went with him because it was more convenient, I’m sure I wouldn’t have regretted it.

But, the guy who came today was great. He saved me close to $600 by advising me against purchasing a new motor… something the other guy didn’t even check and just added to my quote because I said, “I guess I should because I’m getting a new door, right?”

Why share this story? To serve as a reminder to do your due diligence before making an expensive or long-term decision. When one is all you have to go off of, of course you’ll justify it. But, more gives you actual bases of comparison. And even if it doesn’t save you $600, it’ll give you a vibe that allows you to invest in the type of company (people) you’d love to see thrive.

Today I updated my certifications for CPR and using an AED.

We do CPR when a person is unconscious and not breathing so as to keep circulating blood throughout the body and oxygen moving in and out of the lungs to delay tissue death and organ failure until medical professionals can arrive.

Liken this to times in your life when you’ve felt metaphysically lost and like you metaphorically can’t breathe because of something awful that happened to you… and how sometimes, finding ways you can keep going through the motions of your regular, everyday life can be just as lifesaving.

CPR, however, isn’t something we do to ourselves—CPR is something we do to others.

The same in life.

When we see or sense that someone is metaphysically lost or are going through a really tough time… sometimes the best thing we can do is “manually” help them do the things they normally do on their own, but at that point in time and for whatever reason—can’t. Things like hang out with friends, go for walks, eat appropriate meals, exercise, have a night out, etc.

Which leads to my final point… like CPR, most anyone can do it. You just need to have a little bit of training, courage, compassion, and common sense.

Stay ready, y’all.

Somebody is going to need you one day…

The question is… will you be ready?

I’m going to a martial arts conference this weekend to learn from some of the best martial artists, martial arts school owners, and associated like-minded people in my industry.

A question I’ve been reflecting on to prepare is, “How can I optimize my time there?”

I’ve been thinking about how I can maximize the number of sessions I take… the number of people I might meet… the number of opportunities I might capitalize on and uncover…

And it got me thinking…

…Why don’t I (we) do this for our everyday life more often?

At least for me… I can’t think of the last time I sat down and asked myself, “How can I optimize my time here, in my hometown, this weekend?”

Granted, most of the time all I want to do is nothing (lol).

But, every now and again, I think it’d be well worth the effort to look at our own hometown with fresh eyes… as though we were only visiting for one weekend and wanted to soak up as much of the area as possible.

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Inner Work Prompt: Imagine friends were coming to visit your hometown for one weekend and they asked if you would give them the optimized experience. What kind of itinerary would you prepare? Why not do that for yourself and your own family?